


Roses of Forever

by stanstraykids99



Category: Day6 (Band) - Mentioned, JJ Project - Mentioned, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, I'm Sorry, Like angst doesnt even start until like halfway, M/M, Slow Burn, Thanks to my beta Kalie, i'm really proud of this, minsung - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2019-09-19 20:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 60,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17009040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stanstraykids99/pseuds/stanstraykids99
Summary: Ninety five percent of people who contract the disease do not survive. Treatments include soulmate therapy, which may partially mend a broken or twisted soul bond. The life of the patient can be prolonged by frequent contact with their soulmate. No known cases have resulted in successful and complete soul bond reparation.ORJisung would never be enough for Minho.Soulmate/Hanahaki AU-When you're born, you have a tattoo of the first words you will hear your soulmate say.However, some people don't have tattoos. How does a blank canvas find their soulmate when a kiss seals the bond?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Bloomed For You...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8707759) by [HN_North](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HN_North/pseuds/HN_North). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99

The weather on the last day of their senior year was beautiful, almost as if the weather had specifically cleared up for the occasion. The entire week, it had been drab and rainy, but that day it was sunny and warm enough that it was comfortable, but not hot.

Because the weather was so good, Jisung had decided to have a last-day-of-school picnic for the seniors in their friend group, and of course, he had invited their two friends that were juniors. It was partly a thank you to his friends for allowing him into their group, since he had only just transferred to their school this year after an...incident from his previous school.

Jisung usually came across as confident, but in reality, he was extremely self-conscious, so he was glad Felix had included him in their tight-knit friend group so quickly.

On that fateful first day of classes, Jisung had been so nervous introducing himself to each class as the new student. His first class had been chemistry.

_“Hello, my name is Han Jisung, I’m a transfer student, and I’m a senior.” His voice wavered with nerves as he stared at the back wall of the classroom. His self-introduction was thankfully over quickly. When the teacher directed him to a seat, he shrunk into it, glancing around him. The student directly to his left shot him a blinding smile, and Jisung returned it, relief immediately filling him._

_“Hi, I’m Felix!” The boy introduced himself and stuck his hand across the aisle. His pronunciation wasn’t perfect, and he had an accent from somewhere, but it wasn’t pronounced enough in Korean for Jisung to figure out from where it was._

_“Jisung…but you knew that already” he laughed nervously, taking Felix’s hand and shaking it. Jisung immediately noticed Felix’s soul mate tattoo on his wrist, larger and more noticeable than most soulmate tattoos. It simply said “Oh, you’re already here”._

They had gotten to talking about their tattoos, and they found out that they had a lot in common. Eventually, Felix and Jisung had become inseparable, and he was quickly integrated into Felix’s group of friends. In the group was, of course, Felix. Then, the other senior, Hyunjin: a very tall and very clingy boy who was insanely attractive. There were 2 others that were younger than them, Seungmin and Jeongin, who were always hanging onto each other. The group became attached at the hips, and together they were a strange but happy family. 

Jisung even found it in himself to tell his new friends about his past. About his father. He wanted to thank them for everything they had done, for being there when he had the nightmares, for never pushing him. Even when he hid that he was having a bad time to seem strong in front of his friends, they didn’t get mad at him for keeping it from him. They just made sure he was okay, and never judged him.

The day was beautiful, but as it had been their last day together as students, there was a bittersweet taste in the air. The seniors didn’t want to leave Seungmin and Jeongin behind, but luckily, they were all able to go to college in the same city that their high school was in, so there wouldn’t be too much distance. Still, it was a 30-minute drive or bus ride from the dorms the seniors would be staying in to their high school.

Jisung brushed those thoughts aside, ignoring his fear of drifting apart from the younger members. He was almost done with the food for his special picnic. He had made each of his friends’ favorite food, and he had made a cheesecake for everyone too, though that was mostly for himself. Once he had finished making everything up and put it in a basket, he checked his watch and headed out, a grin stuck on his face. He had made the others wait in the park until he was done, as he wanted the food to be a surprise. It only took him 5 minutes to walk to the park, and when his friends saw him, they greeted him with wide smiles.

“Jisungie! Finally, you only took forever,” Hyunjin’s smile reached his eyes and Jisung stuck his tongue out at him. That smile used to intimidate him to no end. Now it was simply contagious.

“You’ll be thanking me when you see what I made you.” Jisung began to set up the picnic in the perfect spot that the others had already chosen.

“Hyung, this better be good. I waited a good 15 minutes for this. And I didn’t eat lunch.” Seungmin said, giving an evil smirk.

“Yah, would you just look at what I did for you already!” Jisung exclaimed, letting his friends have free reign of the picnic basket.

“Wow, you know us so well!” Felix praised. They all nodded their approval to Jisung for knowing exactly what to get them and pink dusted his cheeks. 

“Aw, come on it’s not even that great,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck and sitting down.

“Thanks, hyung. You’re the best.” Jeongin said, in a rare display of affection towards the elder.

“Jeonginie! I love you!” Jisung tackled Jeongin in a hug and he yelped, laughing and playfully struggling to get out of his hyung’s grasp.

Their last day together was perfect. When it started getting dark, Jisung announced that they were all staying at his apartment and watching movies, to which everyone expressed their excitement. On the walk there, Felix and Hyunjin each draped themselves over Jisung, and Seungmin and Jeongin discretely and chastely held hands behind them. The day was tinted rose, and Jisung could easily say it had been the best day of his life. 

In fact, his memories of the whole summer were soft and happy, and every time he thought of them, he saw the rose and yellow colors that had painted the day.

It was, however, on the last day before move-in that everything looked purple. A cool color, almost blue, _almost_ sad. Jisung knew that it wasn’t goodbye to the maknaes, but it still felt like it. He was also terrified for his first day of college, nervous that he might meet his soulmate that had given him the tattoo on his ribs, but the presence of his friends softened that sadness and apprehension. He knew that tonight the nightmares would likely come again, but he knew that his friends would be there to talk in the morning, like they always were.


	2. In Which Friends Are Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99

Jisung struggled with the last box that he was carrying up the stairs. He had decided not to take the elevator because it was full and hadn’t thought twice about walking up 5 flights of stairs. Now on the fourth floor, carrying a heavy box, he was beginning to regret his decision. He shifted the box a little and began climbing the last flight, trying not to look like he was struggling. But Of course, he’d stupidly told Felix and Hyunjin that he didn’t need help with his last box.

Suddenly, however, the box felt much lighter. Confused, Jisung looked behind him to see a very handsome older boy with wavy hair holding a corner of the box.

“Hey, you looked like you could use some help.” He smiled, and a dimple almost made Jisung drop his half of the box.

“Oh, thank goodness someone noticed.” He said, relieved he didn’t have to go all the way up on his own. “Thanks,”

“No problem! I live on 5th too, so if you need any more help I’ll be there,” He said as they walked up the stairs together. “You’re a freshman, right? I’m a junior so if you have any questions come to me!” Jisung was suddenly intimidated by the older male, but he smiled nervously and nodded.

“T-thanks,” he said, and stopped as he got to the door of the 3 bedroom apartment style dorm that he, Felix, and Hyunjin now shared. “This is me.” He pointed out and set down the box.

“Oh, yeah, I’m Chan by the way. I’m in 520.” He stuck his hand out, and Jisung shook it.

“I’m Jisung. Right here.” He pointed at his door. “Obviously.” He mentally facepalmed.

“Ah! Here, let’s exchange numbers so we can chat.” Chan pulled his phone out and Jisung mirrored him. They quickly exchanged numbers and bid their “see ya laters”. Jisung kicked the door open and before it was even closed, he yelled, “Yah, how come you guys didn’t help me with this box?” A quiet chuckle sounded from the hallway.

“You said you didn’t need help!” A voice came from one of the bedrooms, and Hyunjin emerged, his hair slightly messy, but of course, he looked just as perfect as he always did.

“Yeah, yeah I know I’m just teasing.” Jisung smiled and carried his box into his room, throwing it on the ground and going back out to their shared living space to sit on the crappy futon they had instead of a couch.

“I don’t wanna unpack.” He pouted and Hyunjin joined him on the futon, laying his head on Jisung’s shoulder.

“Same.” Hyunjin joined in Jisung’s pouting, but they were interrupted by a loud crashing noise in Felix’s room.

“I’m okay!” he called, and the boys laughed. Felix trotted out of his room. “Did either of you bring a toolbox? I think I need some kind of screwdriver to deloft my bed so I don’t fall out of it again.”

“Do I seem like I would have a toolbox?” Hyunjin said, eyebrow cocked.

“Good point.” Felix laughed, and his deep laugh reverberated throughout the room. “Where do you think I should look for one?”

“Ummm, maybe the office has one?” Hyunjin offered, but he didn’t seem confident.

“I already asked, they don’t have any right now.” Felix said. “Too bad we don’t know anyone in the hall yet, maybe then we could ask someone.”

“Oooh! I ran into an upperclassman and he gave me his number for questions! Maybe we can ask him?” Jisung brightened at the opportunity to help his friend. He pulled his phone out and opened a message to Chan, who had saved himself as Chan (Chris Bang). Jisung was surprised at that, it was an English name.

“Hey, his name is saved in here as an English name!” Jisung said, directing this at Felix, who perked up. Felix had only moved to Korea from Australia two years ago.

“Ah! If he has a toolbox can I go to meet him?” Felix said, a little shyly. He was always happy to find people who spoke English.

“Yeah, let’s all go.” Jisung said, including Hyunjin without even thinking about it. Hyunjin smiled and snuggled closer to Jisung, peering over his shoulder as he composed a text to Chan asking him if he had any tools. Felix in the meantime went to go look for something in the kitchenette section of the living room.

It didn’t take long before Chan had already responded, saying one of his roommates did, and to come on over. Jisung stood up and laughed when Hyunjin fell over without the support of his shoulder. He helped Hyunjin off the couch and gestured to Felix to follow him as well. They didn’t bother locking their door as they walked a short distance down the hallway. Jisung knocked quietly on the door to dorm 520, and Chan opened the door seconds later.

“Hey, you brought friends!” Chan smiled brightly, and Hyunjin and Felix smiled in return.

“These are my friends slash roommates Hyunjin and Felix.” He indicated who was who as Chan gestured to them to come into the room.

“Felix? Are you Korean?” Chan asked brightly.

“No, I’m actually from Australia. I’m not very fluent in Korean.” Felix said, managing to look adorable despite his flustered appearance.

“No, way! I’m from Australia too!” Chan practically yelled in English. Jisung smiled. He knew English too, though not nearly as fluently as Felix.

“Really?” Felix laughed “That’s awesome! How long have you been here?”

“I moved here my first year of high school, and I’m a junior in college now, so about 7 years.” Chan looked a little proud, and then opened the door to one of the rooms a little, peeking in. “Woojinie, are you clothed?”

“Of course I am it’s freaking 2 PM.” A voice floated from inside the room. The door flung open.

“Okay. In that case, where’s your toolbox?” Chan said, walking into the room. The freshmen all respectfully stayed outside of the room, but not without noticing that the bed was larger than the provided beds in their rooms.

“In the junk drawer in the kitchen area” The boy said, and Chan hummed in response.

“Hey, come meet our new neighbors,” Chan said sweetly, and pulled the boy out of the bed. The boy that walked out of the room was strikingly handsome, in a different, more cuddly way than Chan was.

“Hey, I’m Woojin~” He said, giving a cute little wave. Hyunjin moved to introduce them, but Chan beat him to it, holding out his hand

“Wait, let me do it so I can make sure it’s right. Woojin, this is Jisung, Hyunjin, and Felix! Right? Also, Felix is from Australia too!” Chan looked so excited, which made Felix blush. “Guys, I’d introduce you to our other two roommates, but they’re out getting groceries, and I think they’re going to an arcade afterwards.”

“What??” Woojin looked annoyed. “Last time we let those two get groceries Minho didn’t get enough food and just made you and I share a tiny portion!”

“I warned him not to this time,” Chan said, pulling Woojin closer to his side and trotting off to the kitchen, and the rest of them followed dutifully.

“Here it is!” Chan smiled, triumphantly raising a small toolbox in the air. “Let’s go!” Chan said, marching off.

“You don’t need to help,” Felix said weakly, but Chan was already out the door.

“Just humor him, he loves making new friends and taking people under his wing.” Woojin said, his eyes crinkling in fondness. “C’mon,” he said, heading out the door too. Chan was already standing at their door, waiting patiently, holding the toolbox like it was his baby.

“It’s unlocked,” Hyunjin said as they neared the door. Chan nodded and opened the door, and they all filed into the room. The layout was bare, as barely anything had been unpacked yet.

Chan disappeared into Felix’s room and the rest of the boys could hear the two chatting in English, their Aussie accents strong.

“Do you guys need help unpacking anything?” Woojin glanced around, looking at all the unopened boxes. “It’s no trouble.”

“Actually, that would be great,” Hyunjin said, happy to speed up the process in any way. Jisung nodded in agreement.

 

A few hours later, they were done unpacking thanks to the help of Chan and Woojin. Their roommates weren’t back yet either, but Chan decided to order takeout and have a tiny housewarming party, even when the residents tried to decline. When the food arrived, everyone gathered around the table and enjoyed some conversation.

The newcomers found out that Woojin and Chan were soulmates, which is why the upperclassmen had an extra roommate, four in their dorm. Chan and Woojin shared a bedroom, and the other two, Changbin and Minho, had their own rooms. Changbin was a sophomore, but the the rest were juniors. They also found out that Woojin was studying music education and Chan was studying music production. Jisung was overjoyed at this news because his major was also music production and now he’d have a hyung to look up to to ask for help if he needed anything.

Hyunjin introduced his major as interior design and Felix’s as undecided. Chan and Woojin had already saved all their numbers and made their new friends promise to hang out a lot. Things were going very smoothly as far as Jisung was concerned and he was content when Chan and Woojin decided to turn in for the night, promising that they would introduce the boys to Changbin and Minho soon. Before they left the upperclassmen invited the new boys to play video games the next day. The three best friends were surrounded by an aura of warmth even after the soulmates had left.


	3. In Which Chan's Adopted Children Have to Stay

Jisung woke up late, at almost 12:30 in the afternoon, to Felix and Hyunjin banging on his door. He’d been unable to sleep through the nightmares last night. They always came when he was stressed, and with the first day of classes being so close, he was very stressed under his confident façade.

“Yah Jisung, wake up, don’t you want to hang out with the hyungs?” Hyunjin called.

“Ah, yeah, sorry I just woke up!” He called, dragging himself out of bed. “I’ll be out in a few minutes!”He grabbed his towel and went out to the main room.

 

“Yah, seriously? We’re supposed to be over there at 1, and you still have to shower?” Felix said, semi annoyed.

“Sorry, guys, I couldn’t fall asleep until 5,” Jisung said, and Felix’s face immediately dropped its annoyance. He gave him a look of concern, but Jisung just brushed it off. He didn’t have time to be pitied right now.

It took him 15 minutes to shower, then, to cover up the bags under his eyes, he put on concealer. He also decided to add some very subtle eyeliner. The eyeliner at least made him look presentable.

Before getting dressed, he looked the black text that curved around his ribs. “Hyung, who are they?” the letters spelled. He touched the faint scars that surrounded the tattoo, before shaking his head and throwing on some comfy ripped skinny jeans and a sweatshirt that was slightly too big for him.

He checked his watch, and it was 12:54. He strolled out of his room with a smug look on his face.

“Ha! I made it with time to spare.” He boasted and flopped on the futon right in between Felix and Hyunjin. They both smiled, seemingly ignoring the weird moment from before Jisung’s shower. They knew from experience that making any issue into a scene would just make it worse for him. Instead, they jumped right back into their usual banter.

“Only because we woke you up, Sungie.” Felix winked, and Hyunjin jokingly rolled his eyes. “Why don’t we head over there now?” Jisung groaned when the others stood up.

“Ugh I just sat down!” He gave a puppy dog look to the other two and expectantly put his hands out. They scoffed but hauled him off of the couch regardless.

The walk to Chan’s apartment was only about 30 seconds, and in the middle, Hyunjin gave Jisung a warm side hug, whispering “We’re always here, and we love you.” 

Jisung loved their subtle support. They knew from experience the best ways to comfort him without making a scene, and they always knew how to make him feel better. He didn’t know what he would ever do without his best friends. The thought made him miss Jeongin and Seungmin, even though he’d seen them two days ago and they were only 20 minutes away.

“Wait, hold on a sec I’m gonna send a text, don’t go in yet.” Jisung said as they ended up right in front of Chan’s door. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to their group chat.

Jisung 12:57  
Hey Seungmin, Jeongin. I miss you. <3  
Seungmin 12:58  
Hyung you literally saw us two days ago.  
Seungmin 12:58  
I miss you too  
Jeongin 12:58  
Jisungie hyung you’re such a softie  
Jisung 12:59  
Shut up Jeongin I love you  
Jeongin 12:59  
I know, hyung, love you too.

Hyunjin, nudging Jisung to hurry so they wouldn’t be too late, also quickly sent a text reassuring the boys that it was not just Jisung that missed them.

“You’re truly whipped for the maknaes,” Felix made a soft jab at Jisung, who just pouted jokingly then just smiled fondly at his phone, reading what Hyunjin had sent.

Hyunjin 12:59  
Felix and I say the same, come visit soon!  
Seungmin 1:00  
Of course.

When Felix was about to knock on the door, it opened abruptly. A short man with dark black hair and a jawline to cut steel stood there. He he glanced at Felix’s raised hand before saying “Oh, you’re already here.”

Everyone but the stranger’s eyes went wide, and Jisung let out a little gasp. Felix froze, his hand still in position to knock at a door that was no longer there. The man looked a little bit concerned. “Uh, hello? I’m Changbin, you’re the freshmen that Chan adopted, right? He just sent me to go get you guys because you weren’t here exactly on time.” Changbin cocked his eyebrow. When Felix didn’t unfreeze, Hyunjin took matters into his own hands. He reached out and lowered Felix’s arm, which seemed to defrost him a little bit.

“Uh, yes. That’s us. I mean. Hi.” His voice cracked a little bit, and Changbin’s jaw dropped, confirming everyone’s suspicions. Changbin must have that tattoo, which meant that they were soulmates.

“This stuttering mess is Felix, who is, as it would seem, your soulmate,” Hyunjin interjected, though he didn’t seem too enthusiastic. Jisung looked over at Hyunjin and reassuringly laced their fingers together. About 1/5 of the population on earth didn’t have tattoos and Hyunjin happened to be one. Although people without tattoos had soulmates as well, finding them was not guaranteed.

“Felix?” Changbin said, tasting the name on his tongue.

Felix nodded, and then his eyes looked a little panicked. He glanced at Hyunjin and said in English: “Hyung I forgot Korean.” His wide eyes were almost comical, and Jisung couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Felix, you know Korean, you’ve been here for two years. Shut up.” He said, playfully hitting him on the arm. Felix nodded slowly, and glanced back at Changbin, who was hiding a grin.

“Hello,” he said, his deep voice somehow sounding tiny. “…Changbin?”

“Yah! Changbin if they’re here let them in!” Chan yelled from somewhere inside the apartment.

“Don’t yah me, you’re ruining my soulmate moment!” Changbin nagged back into the apartment. There was a scrambling noise as Chan and Woojin suddenly showed up behind Changbin.

“Who?” Chan said, his eyes shining with excitement. Felix meekly raised his hand, and Chan’s smile spread. 

“YES! We get to keep the baby Aussie forever!” he hugged Woojin and Woojin just looked proud. Jisung smiled, happy for Felix, and subtly squeezed Hyunjin’s hand. Hyunjin’s lips quirked up, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Guys, come on in!” Chan said, and Changbin turned around, offering a reassuring gesture to Felix, who followed close behind him like a puppy. “Minho is at work right now, but now we have 6, so we can start the Mario Kart tournament! Who wants to go first?” Jisung and Hyunjin smiled excitedly. They both raised their hands, giving each other playful smirks. They had a bet going on counting wins in any game they ever played together. Jisung was at 74, while Hyunjin was at 89.

“Okay, then you two go first. I made a bracket!” Chan said excitedly, showing off a neatly printed page with their names on a real bracket. Woojin chuckled. 

“Channie, you’re so extra,” he said lovingly, giving his boyfriend a peck on the cheek. Chan smiled, blushing just a little bit.

 

The game was going well. Jisung had won the first round of the tournament, and now Chan and Woojin were facing each other, using dirty tactics like tickling each other and stealing glances at the other’s screen. 

Felix and Changbin were engrossed in conversation with each other, and when it was their turn, you could see that they had great chemistry, as was expected from soulmates. Jisung had overheard from Changbin that he was also a music production major, to which Jisung exclaimed and said that he, Chan, and Changbin would have to work on a project together sometime since they all had the same major. Felix won their round, but the two newly found soulmates went off into a corner to talk. The bracket was postponed when the next round was Minho vs Hyunjin, and while waiting for Minho to return home from work, 

“Hyung, tell us how you and Woojin met, please?” Hyunjin said, looking dreamily between the two who were made perfectly for each other.

“Woojin tells it better,” Chan said, and looked fondly at his soulmate.

“Yah, it’s not even that interesting.” Woojin said, but he launched into the rehearsed story anyway. “We had a music class together freshman year, and we had to in groups of two produce a track on a specific theme. We were paired randomly on a theme that Chan didn’t even care for. We actually texted for a while before we met in person for the project, and the first thing he said, get this, was: ‘This project is gonna be a bitch,’ which of course, was my tattoo. I’m thankful it’s on my hip where nobody can see it, because of the curse word in it,” He nudged Chan gently here, and Chan rolled his eyes.

“It’s not my fault it happened that way!” he said defensively. Woojin simply continued the story.

“So, I said: ‘Look here you, how dare you say that, I had to have that tattooed on my body since I was born!’ which, I now realize is a bit of a mouthful.” Woojin lifted Chan’s t-shirt, revealing a small paragraph on his (well-defined, not that Jisung was paying attention) bicep. “So really, we’re both at fault,” Woojin laughed, and everyone joined in.

“What do you mean that’s not interesting, that’s hilarious!” Jisung laughed, choking on the popcorn that was in his mouth.

“Also, Changbin and I met in a music production class freshman year, and Minho was the TA in a dance class I took last year.” Chan added, patting Jisung on the back until he could breathe.

“How did you guys all meet?” Woojin interjected, and Hyunjin was the one to tell.

“Well, Felix and I met when he moved to Korea two years ago, and we’ve been friends ever since. Jisung joined our group last year when he transferred schools. We also have two younger friends who are seniors this year, Seungmin and Jeongin. They’ll be visiting us a lot.”

“Well then they can join the family, too.” Chan said with a sense of finality. Jisung’s grin widened. He missed the maknaes so much already, and it felt good knowing they would fit in here even though they were younger.

Eventually, Jisung realized that the tournament was doomed to flop due to the distraction of Felix and Changbin meeting and Minho hadn’t yet returned home.

At that moment, someone opened the door and in strode the most beautiful man Jisung had ever seen. Hyunjin had joined the conversation that Changbin and Felix were having, so he didn’t notice as the man--who must be Minho--strut across the room and flopped onto the couch next to Chan, captivating Jisung’s attention without saying a word.

“Minho, you’re finally home! How was work?” Chan asked, and Minho shrugged in response. Only after a few seconds did he notice that there were other people here.

“Hyung, who are they?” Minho said under his breath, just loud enough for Chan to hear, and Jisung, as he was sitting right next to Chan. Jisung’s breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t expecting this at all, wasn’t expecting both him and Felix to meet their soulmates in one day.

“I told you, they’re the new neighbors. They’re freshmen, and I’ve adopted them. Now, tell me how work went.” Chan nudged Minho affectionately.

“It was TERRIBLE,” Minho said. “I saw three pairs of soulmates meet and they kept on holding up the line! I’m just trying to make good coffee here,” He exclaimed, clearly annoyed. “If I ever meet my soulmate, they’re gonna be perfect, so they’d better know not to hold up a line like that,” Minho said, huffing. Chan laughed.

“What a weird thing to want in a soulmate.” Woojin said bemusedly. “Well, whatever works for you, man.”

“They’re gonna be perfect. I’m sure of it.” Minho murmured. In all this, Jisung hadn’t yet said a word. He decided to speak up, to let his soulmate know that this was happening.

“Uh, hey Chan, won’t you introduce us?” Jisung said, nervously looking at Minho. To Jisung’s surprise, Minho didn’t have any reaction to hearing him speak.

Chan introduced Minho to the new boys and explained about Felix and Changbin being soulmates but it was all a blur to Jisung, who was currently overthinking. A one-sided soul bond? No, no, no. The older boy must just not have a tattoo. But now that they’d already been introduced it would be weird to say something about it. Not to mention it would make a scene in front of his new friends, and he hated bringing attention to himself in new groups of people. So, Jisung decided to stay silent. He would bring it up with the boy later. before he knew it though, his chance was gone anyway.

“Hey, hyung, I’m gonna head to bed. Work was really tiring. It was nice meeting you,” Minho smiled, inclining his head at Felix, Jisung, and Hyunjin.

“Good night, Minho,” Changbin called, still engrossed in the conversation with Felix.

“I’ll see you around.” And he was gone almost as soon as he had arrived. Jisung felt a little nauseated. Now, his chance to speak up was completely gone. He didn’t want to screw up his relationship with his soulmate, but how was he supposed to bring this up to him now that they’ve already met? _“Hey, Minho hyung, I know we’ve met before and I didn’t say anything about it then but I’m pretty sure we’re soulmates, wanna kiss to check?”_ Jisung shuddered. He didn’t even want to think about that.

Jisung jolted to his feet, and Felix and Changbin looked at him, confused and slightly concerned. Jisung put on his best fake smile, something he’d perfected over the years, cheerfully saying,

“I’m gonna head to bed, too.” He didn’t even bother looking at the time, but he knew it was early. “I didn’t sleep well last night,” he offered as a weak excuse. “You two don’t have to leave for me, I know you’re having fun,” he directed at Hyunjin and Felix, knowing that they would follow him if he didn’t say something.

Chan and Woojin smiled, not knowing Jisung well enough to know that this behavior was odd. Changbin nodded, giving Jisung a slight grin. Jisung walked out of the apartment, feeling the eyes of his two roommates on his back.

When he arrived in his room, Jisung took double the recommended dose of melatonin. Once he swallowed the pills, he stood still for a moment, then kicked his dresser in frustration, which simply resulted in an injured toe for him. He hopped over to his bed while holding onto his foot, and collapsed on it, letting out a groan. Of course his awkward ass would get himself in this situation. He had always hoped meeting his soulmate would be amazing and perfect, not a confusing and awkward mess.

Speaking of his soulmate, Jisung allowed himself to think of the boy. He barely knew anything about him, just that he was good at dancing (per Chan), and that he worked at a coffee shop. Of course, Jisung had been extremely attracted to him immediately; he was his perfect match. When Minho had entered the room, Jisung’s breath had been taken away by the ethereal beauty of a boy who had just gotten back from a long day at work. Even exhausted, Minho was gorgeous. Jisung groaned. He was already falling for the boy and he had not even spoken directly to him!

Jisung began to replay every sentence he had heard the older say, simply to embed it into his memory for explaining to people how he met his soulmate. But one sentence stuck in his mind. _“They’re going to be perfect.”_ Jisung frowned. Minho had seemed so sure his soulmate would be amazing, and clearly, he had always thought that way. How could Jisung then live up to a lifetime of being hyped up as Minho’s perfect soulmate?

Jisung was anything but perfect. He had the scars, both emotional and physical, that his father had left on him. He had issues with trust, and once he did trust someone, he had issues with separation from them. He kept his emotions and problems from others. He wanted to protect them from the darkness that he hid within. He knew his friends were still scared, worried he would relapse and self harm again. Given all this, how could Jisung even begin to live up to the image of the perfect soulmate that Minho no doubt had in his mind?

Groaning, Jisung pulled his blanket over his head. He didn’t want to have to deal with this. His first day of official college classes started tomorrow, and he had just met his soulmate. It was not only incredibly distracting, but also a very confusing situation. He felt the melatonin acting and began to drift off to a sleep he knew would be interrupted. He double checked his alarms, set at 9, 9:15, 9:30, and 9:45. Just in case.

Jisung shoved the thought of Minho and soulmates out of his head. He didn’t want to think about him anymore, and how he would ultimately disappoint him. He just needed to focus on school and if the opportunity arose, maybe he would tell him. With that thought, he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99


	4. In Which Jisung Is Content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse, physical and mental.

_Red. The room was all red and all he could feel was pain. Something hit his back with a sharp crack, and a sob escaped his mouth._

_“How many times do I have to tell you to BE QUIET?” a voice echoed in his ears, but he couldn’t see the speaker. The pain in his back worsened, and he could feel the welts begin to bleed. A piece of leather was shoved into his mouth, and he couldn’t make a noise even if he wanted to. “You never listen to me, worthless piece of shit. I should have never married your mother, maybe then I’d have a natural son. One that has a natural soulmate.”_

_He sobbed, wishing he could beg his father to stop, but the bitter leather in his mouth prevented him. The loud cracks, the pain; it seemed to never end. Eventually, he had no strength to resist, and he slipped into unconsciousness._

 

Jisung woke up to his alarm clock at 9:30. Thank goodness he’d thought to set more than one. His first class, Audio Technology, was at 10, so he had 15 minutes to get ready and then a 15-minute walk to class.

Reluctantly he threw his blanket off of himself, recoiling immediately from the cold in his room. He began getting ready, still very groggy as he had only gotten around 3 hours of sleep. Once he was dressed, wearing a pink sweatshirt and black jeans, he trotted to the bathroom. When he glanced at himself in the mirror, he grimaced. He looked like hell. The bags under his eyes were dark, and his eyes were bloodshot. Sighing, he washed his face before putting on some concealer under his eyes. 

Satisfied with the slightly-less-tired-Jisung that looked back at him in the mirror, he went back to his room and grabbed his backpack. He double checked that he had everything then headed out. The others were already gone, so he locked the door behind him. 

“Jisung!” A voice called down the hall making him jump. 

“Ah, Chan, you scared me,” Jisung said, putting a hand over his heart that was now beating faster than it should. 

“Whoops, sorry!” Chan said, but he was smiling. “Where’s the class you’re headed to?” Jisung took a few seconds to remember before answering. 

“Harmen. That’s the main music building, right?” Jisung said, a little uncertain.

“Yeah, my next class is in that building too! That’s perfect, I can take you!” Chan slung his arm over the shorter boy’s shoulders, guiding him towards the elevator. “Which class do you have?”

“Audio Technology with Brennenburg.” Jisung said, “Room 104.”

Chan hissed and looked at Jisung with pity. Jisung frowned and crinkled his brow, suddenly unable to breathe properly.

“What?” He said frantically, starting to panic. Had he picked the worst professor to take the class with? Audio Tech was the most important class for Music Production majors, he had to do well in it if he wanted to be a good producer. 

“Oh, no, don’t worry too much,” Chan reassured. “He’s a good professor and you learn a lot from him, but the whole class is graded on one project and one test. So you have to do really well on those, and you don’t really get a second chance.” Jisung didn’t look too reassured. “But really, don’t worry! If you have any trouble, I’ll help you for sure! I got an A in the class, so really it’s no problem.” Jisung relaxed, and Chan patted him on the shoulder. “Sorry for making you worry,”

“It’s alright, I’m just a bit nervous for my first day,” Jisung said truthfully. He was always nervous for firsts, never being quite sure exactly how something would turn out. 

“Hey, it’ll be alright! Soon you’ll have everything down, no problem. And,” Chan added, almost as an afterthought, “If you have any questions, ask me! I love helping people.” That last sentence was punctuated with a blinding smile, and Jisung found himself disarmed by the purity of it, not to mention the elder’s dimples.

The rest of the walk to class was littered with small talk, and Jisung found out that the reason Chan had moved to Korea was that his soulmate tattoo was in Korean. Felix had done the same thing, so Jisung wasn’t unfamiliar with the situation. Although, in Felix’s case, his parents were against the idea, which is why he moved so late in life. Chan was lucky his parents were so accepting. Jisung told Chan a heavily edited version of why he had transferred schools, not wanting to have to explain that his own parent was the real reason that he left. Instead, he said that he had been bullied, which was technically true. He said it with a smile, though, so as not to worry Chan, and to give the impression that it didn’t bother him anymore. Chan could tell that Jisung was hiding something, but decided not to push it.

“And here’s Harmen!” Chan announced, holding the door open for the younger boy who walked in and glanced at the map in the entrance, looking for his classroom, which just happened to be right next to the entrance. “Hey, Changbin, Minho, Woojin and I are getting lunch at the dining center around noon. If you’re there, you should come sit with us!” Jisung nodded, and Chan was off to his own class. 

Jisung took a deep breath before he entered the classroom. The college they were at was mid-sized, so the average class size was about 40. This class had maybe 30 people in it. Jisung scanned the room before he found an open seat next to someone who looked friendly. He checked his phone quick to gauge time. Perfect. He’d arrived 2 minutes early. The professor walked in just then and Jisung relaxed in his seat. Now that he was here, it wasn’t bad at all. 

“Everyone sit down,” the professor seemed to be tired already, as he droned out the command. The few people who were standing filed towards their seats and sat down. The professor started handing out the syllabus. 

“Welcome to Music Technology one. I’m Dr. Brennenburg, you may call me Dr. Brennenburg. If you are in the wrong class, please leave now.” A young girl stood up, her face red, and walked out of the classroom. “As you may have heard,” he continued, unphased, “This class is graded based on one project and one test. The first few weeks of class will be focusing on the skills you will need for your first project, which is what I will be introducing today.”

A boy leaning back in his chair with his feet on the table in front of him raised his hand lazily. The professor shot him a glare, and the boy lowered his hand. 

“The first project is a music video. This should be something you all have an interest in. The music video should be put to a track you have written and produced. The video is the more ‘fun’ part.” The word felt ironic coming from Brennenburg’s mouth, as his teaching style was clearly very dry. “The grade will be based mostly on the quality of production of the track, and only 5% of the grade will be based on the actual filming and editing of the video.”

Jisung smiled. He was really going to like this project. He excelled at writing music, and lyrics were his specialty. The rest of the class passed without a hitch, and Jisung left the class 50 minutes later already full of ideas for his music video. 

His next class went by without any problems. It was a gen ed class that he had to take to graduate, Humanities I, a class he didn’t particularly enjoy. So when he got out of that class, he was eager to glance at his phone, seeing the time as 11:50. He opened a text to Felix and Hyunjin while he walked towards the dining center located right next to their dorm.

Jisung 11:51  
hey are you guys free? chan etc will be at the dining center  
Felix 11:52  
YEah i was actually already planning to go with them  
Felix 11:52  
Ive been texting changbin and he invited me  
Hyunjin 11:53  
OoooOOoOOooo already whipped for the soulmate  
Hyunjin 11:54  
And yeah i’ll be there i gotta walk from the union tho so itll take a bit  
Jisung 11:56  
Perfect. Lemme know when ur there

When he arrived at the dining center and checked in, Jisung opened another text, this time to Chan. 

Jisung 12:04  
Hey i’m at the entrance, where are you guys  
Chan (Chris Bang) 12:05  
I’m waving

Jisung smiled when he saw Chan waving at him enthusiastically. He was sitting next to a content-looking Woojin and across from Changbin and Minho. Even from afar, Changbin looked like he was trying too hard to be edgy. Minho just looked effortlessly beautiful. Jisung had to catch his breath when Woojin said something that made Minho smile. His lips were the perfect shape that made him look a little flirty, but also genuinely happy. His teeth were perfect and white and Jisung shook himself mentally. He needed to be cool around his soulmate so that he didn’t make himself look like an idiot as he often did.

“Hey, Jisung!” Woojin said cheerfully and moved up a chair. Jisung set down his bag and greeted everyone.

“Hey guys, Felix and Hyunjin are on coming too,” Woojin moved two more chairs accordingly, and Jisung disappeared for a moment to retrieve his food. By the time he returned, Felix’s bag was also at the table, and when he sat down, he got a text from Hyunjin saying he was at the dining center. Jisung waved him over and Hyunjin sat his bag down, going to get food as well.

“Jisung, right?” Minho said to Jisung, giving him a slight smile and risen eyebrow. 

“Y-yes,” Jisung stuttered and cursed himself. That wasn’t very cool of him. 

“Nice. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself yesterday, I was really tired. I’m Minho,” he said and winked at Jisung, which left the younger tongue-tied. Luckily, he didn’t have to say anything, as Chan rolled his eyes and interjected

“Don’t mind Minho, he flirts with anything that’s alive. One time I swear he winked at a dog,” Chan laughed and dodged a friendly punch from Minho. Jisung relaxed. Thankfully he didn’t have to cover for being flustered by his soulmate’s wink. Just then, Felix and Hyunjin arrived back at the table together. Felix sat next to Changbin, and they exchanged a shy glance and grin at each other. Felix’s ears were a little bit red. 

“Oh, hey, guys, I need you for a project I’m doing for my Music Tech class!” Jisung suddenly remembered. It was not a question.

“You already have a project?” Minho said incredulously.

“Yeah, it’s not so bad though, and we have more than a month to finish it,” Jisung perked up. He was really excited about this project. He truly was perfect for his major and that made him feel warm inside. “So, anyway, Hyunjin, I need you to choreograph a dance for me, and Felix I need your deep voice to rap. I’m going to have Seungmin and Jeongin sing, but I need some more people to round out the vocals.”

“You dance?” Minho said, glancing at Hyunjin interestedly. 

“Eh, I’m not that great... I’m not very confident in my choreographing skills, but I’ll try for Jisung,” Hyunjin smiled fondly at the shorter boy. “I just danced for a few years in high school.”

“Hey, that’s still really cool! I’m a dance major.” Jisung looked up, surprised. He had known that Minho was a TA for a dance class, but not that he was a dance major. 

“Oh! Maybe I can run the choreography by you so you can help me with it? Heads up though, I’m really not good at choreography.” Hyunjin laughed, clearly it didn’t bother him. 

“I can help you with the choreo, I’m pretty good at it. Obviously.” he looked smug and didn’t even notice Woojin’s fist flying at his shoulder. 

“Ow! Hyung, what was that for?” Minho looked genuinely confused and rubbed his shoulder as if he was nursing it. Jisung thought it was adorable. 

“Be more humble, MinHoe. And yes that’s spelled M-I-N-H-O-E,” Woojin looked sternly at the dancer. 

“Okay, mom,” Minho stuck his tongue out at his hyung. Woojin looked offended. 

“Who said I was mom?? If anything, Chan is the mom here. I’m the dad, for sure,” Woojin said, not denying his parental role, but rather the fact that he would be the mom of the situation. At this, Chan looked offended too. 

“Woojin we’re literally gay together, we’re both the dads. Double dads,” Chan said and kissed Woojin on the cheek to prove a point. Everyone cooed and Woojin’s cheeks dusted a light pink. “Also, Jisung I can help you produce the track if you need me to. I can also sort of sing,” He interjected, a little abashedly.

“Sort of? Chan, you’re amazing.” Changbin scoffed. “And Woojin’s voice is that of an angel. Jisung they both need to sing in your song too.” Jisung nodded enthusiastically. 

“That would be perfect! If you’re okay with it, I mean,” he realized that Woojin hadn’t actually offered. Woojin just nodded and smiled kindly.

“Um, Jisung?” Felix’s voice seemed small and nervous, how he always managed to sound so adorable when his voice was so deep was beyond Jisung. “I’m not very confident in my Korean, and I don’t know how well I can rap. I want to help, but I don’t know if I can do it.” Jisung was about to reassure his best friend, but Changbin beat him to it.

“I can help you with Korean. And trust me, your voice is perfect for rapping. I can teach you how to. Rap is my specialty.” Changbin looked away, embarrassed, but Felix’s lips quirked into a smile and his eyes shined. 

“You’d do that for me, hyung?” he asked, his voice still uncertain. 

“Of course, it’s something I love doing,” Changbin said, rubbing his neck.

“Oh, and I can have you guys do a verse together!” Jisung said, suddenly becoming more excited. “I already have so many ideas!” 

“You really love music, don’t you?” Minho observed, giving Jisung a thoughtful look. Jisung’s heart skipped a beat watching Minho observe him like that. He ducked his head down and nodded shyly. Minho smiled, and for some reason, Jisung was relieved. At least that was one thing he knew Minho wouldn’t hate about him. 

“Having a passion is an awesome feeling.” He mused, a faint smile on his lips. “I remember when I found out dancing was mine.” Jisung looked at Minho expectantly, but he didn’t continue. Instead, he stood up. “I have class in twenty minutes, so I have to go. I’ll see everyone later, yeah?” and just like that, he walked away.

Jisung sat back in his chair, bewildered. He couldn’t make heads or tails of Minho’s personality. It seemed like he always did something unexpected, which really worried him. He didn’t know what to make of his soulmate, which also made him even more apprehensive about bringing up the whole soulmate issue. He would need to get a read on Minho’s personality before he would tell him. 

Jisung nodded, finally feeling like he had a plan. First: figure out what’s going on inside Minho’s head. Then: figure out the perfect way to bring up the soulmate issue. He smiled triumphantly. 

“I have class, too,” Felix said, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll see everyone later, okay?” He touched Changbin’s shoulder and gave a shining smile before he walked off. Changbin watched him with something like affection in his eyes. Chan chuckled, which brought Changbin back to reality. He resumed his sour face, which made Chan laugh even harder.

“Changbin, you’re not as emo as you want to be.” he attempted to say through his giggles. “You are so head over heels for that boy and you’ve only just met him.” 

“Hey, we’re taking it slow! I just think he’s really, truly amazing.” He realized what he had said and his cheeks went rosy. “Shut up!” 

“I didn’t even say anything that time,” Chan said. He was smiling so wide that he couldn't keep his eyes open, and it was so contagious. Nobody at the table could keep themselves from smiling as long as Chan was. Jisung was just so happy for Felix, Changbin really seemed like he would take care of him well, and Jisung wanted the best for his best friend.

A feeling of contentedness settled at the table. He knew this memory, sitting with his new friends and sharing a moment of mutual peace of mind, was going to be important to him. What a wonderful coincidence that he found this group of people that fit together so well, so quickly. 

Chan and Woojin had class at 1:30, so once they were done eating, the three remaining walked back to the dorm together. Changbin and Hyunjin made small talk and seemed to be getting along very well. Jisung would interject sometimes, but he was only half paying attention. Rather, there was a bounce in his step because of how excited he was to start writing the lyrics for his project. 

When they got back to the dorm, Hyunjin invited Changbin into their apartment to continue their chat. Jisung was pretty sure they were talking about how awesome Felix was. He snickered but excused himself to his room to start working on lyrics. He pulled a notebook out from under his mattress that he’d placed there carefully the day before. It was his songbook. Instead of notebook paper, it had blank music sheets, and Jisung had poured his heart into this book. He’d started writing in it while he still lived with his father, and back then he had had to hide it diligently so that his father wouldn’t find it and punish him.

Every time Jisung opened his songbook, he took the time to flip through his old songs. Most of them were songs he would never actually produce, and in the beginning, they were all sorrow and angst, filled with the only emotions he knew during his worst years. However, you can tell exactly where he had transferred schools and left his father behind, because then his songs started to be about the bond he shared with his friends, how important they were to him, and about leaving behind the past to look forward to a new and bright future. He would always keep those dark songs and look back on them to see how good of a place he was in now, even if he did have his bad times. 

The book really was a mess, but it was a mess that Jisung knew how to navigate and he felt that the clutter was a part of his creative process.

Once his pre-writing routine was finished, he excitedly began to scrawl on the first empty page he found. At the top, he wrote the words “Wonderful Coincidence”.

This wouldn’t necessarily be the title of the song, but rather like a theme. He wrote something like this for each of his songs. Sometimes it was a sentence that evoked a certain emotion, sometimes, like this one, it was a phrase that would remind him of a memory. In this case, the memory he had in mind was today. He closed his eyes and brought back the memory of his friends smiling, tinged pink around the edges.

Then his eyes snapped open and he wrote as if his life depended on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99


	5. In Which Jisung Does Something Stupid (So Nothing New)

The next day, Jisung already had the entire song written. Usually, when he was inspired, he would go into hyperfocus, unable to do anything until he finished the project he started. That included sleeping, eating and drinking. So when he was finally finished with the song, he was surprised to see that it was already 8:40 AM, and he had 20 minutes to get ready and get to his first class of the day. He jolted out of his seat and threw on some clothes that were laying on his floor, not even bothering to attempt looking good.He threw anything that looked useful into his backpack and bolted out the door. He had 15 minutes to get to class, so thankfully he had more than enough time to casually stroll to class and still make it. He sighed and began the walk to his College Writing and Research class. 

Once he was at the door to class, the adrenaline of being late wore off and the fatigue hit him. He’d been up for 24 hours now after only getting a very poor night of sleep. It took all of his strength to lift his feet off the ground, but he had to get to class, so he steeled himself and entered the room. He glanced around and saw the same friendly guy that he sat next to in Music Tech. He sat next to him again, and inclined his head. 

“Hey, you’re in my Music Tech class, right?” The boy said, smiling, and Jisung had to tilt his head up to meet his eyes.

“Yeah!” Jisung croaked, attempting to sound enthusiastic, but he knew he was failing miserably. “I’m Jisung,” he stuck his hand out, and he was greeted with a firm handshake. 

“My name’s Jae,” The boy smiled, and Jisung returned the smile weakly.

“Sorry, I’m not super awake right now,” he apologized for his sluggish behavior. “I pulled an all-nighter, like an idiot.” Jisung gently hit himself on the head. What kind of person pulls an all-nighter after the first day of classes?

“Wow, already? You’re ahead of the game,” Jae snickered at his own joke and Jisung found himself laughing too. 

“Yeah, I just can’t stop myself once I get inspired,” he explained, and was surprisingly met by a solemn nod from Jae. 

“I totally understand. One time last year I wrote this really intense song for my band and accidentally didn’t move for like 20 hours. I missed three classes,” Jae smiled, reminiscing. “But it’s definitely worth it, because it’s still the best song I’ve written to this day.”

“You have a band?” Jisung’s interest was piqued, and Jae smiled widely.

“Yeah! We’re called Day6.” Jae looked very proud. “You should come see us, because we’re pretty great. We don’t have a gig until October, but you should definitely come then. I’ll get you backstage tickets!” Jisung nodded eagerly at that, and was surprised by the phone shoved in his hands. It was open to a new contact page, so Jisung entered his phone number and his name. 

Right at that moment, the professor for the class walked in, and Jisung handed Jae’s phone back to him quickly.

 

After the day’s classes were over, Jisung was barely able to drag himself back to his dorm. He made it to the elevator before he decided he didn’t want to stand anymore and sat on the floor. The elevator was slow anyway, this way he’d get to rest for a little bit. While riding the elevator up, his phone dinged. He looked at it and had to open his eyes very wide to read that it was a text from an unknown number introducing himself as Jae. Jisung sent something in response, but he was sure it made no sense. 

When the metal doors slid open, Jisung couldn’t bring himself to stand, so he simply stayed there on the floor. Maybe he’d just fall asleep here. That sounded nice. He was just about to let his eyes droop closed along with the doors of the elevator when someone stuck their foot in between the doors. 

“Jisung? Are you okay?” Chan’s voice floated to his ears, but Jisung didn’t comprehend it for a few seconds, during which Chan was gently shaking him. He opened his eyes and a blurry outline of Chan’s face met him, but he couldn’t quite focus on it.

“Okay. Just tired,” Jisung finally managed to spit out, and Chan sighed, partly in relief, but partly in exasperation. 

“How did you get this exhausted?” He chastised and pulled Jisung into a standing position, wrapping the younger’s arm around his shoulder, and beginning to walk him down the hallway. 

“Didn’t sleep. Song,” Jisung mumbled, his eyes half closed. Chan grunted in irritation, but didn’t say anything else. Jisung was confused when the door they ended up at was not his own, but didn’t have the energy to ask why. He was guided to a couch and as soon as he was laying down, he succumbed to sleep.

 

When Jisung awoke, it was to unfamiliar walls and an unfamiliar smell. He groaned and stretched, his stomach growling. The blankets covering him smelled like cologne, which Jisung had to admit, was a wonderful scent to wake up to. The room around him was dark, but there was a light coming from elsewhere in the apartment. He threw the blanket off of himself and headed for the kitchen, noticing he wasn’t wearing his shoes or socks.

There, Woojin was humming while preparing a pot of tea (how very motherly). Suddenly, Jisung remembered how he got here. He winced, feeling immediately bad for inconveniencing his hyungs. 

“Ah, Woojin hyung,” Jisung simply stated to announce himself. Woojin glanced over at him and smiled sympathetically. Jisung was about to apologize for making Chan carry him down the hall and for taking up their couch, when his stomach once again decided to growl loudly. 

“Hungry, huh?” Woojin said, and Jisung nodded. He hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. “Chan, Hyunjin, Felix, and Changbin are on their way back with food. Minho’s at work again. Don’t tell him we let you use his blanket,” Jisung ignored the pang of disappointment that he felt after realizing that he would not see Minho today, filing it away to analyze later. 

“What time is it?” Jisung said, his voice still thick with sleep, “How long did I sleep?”

“It’s 11PM, so you slept for 10 hours,” Woojin offered him a cup of tea. Jisung groaned. Now his sleep schedule would be all off.

“Ugh, I’m such an idiot!” He threw his hands up in the air. “If I could’ve just stayed up a few hours longer I could have had a normal sleep schedule.”

“Jisung,” Woojin’s voice had an edge to it that Jisung was not expecting. He seemed almost angry. “You almost fainted. You could not have stayed up any longer.”

“I could have, if I had had a few minutes to collect myself.” Jisung mumbled, but Woojin looked mad, so he didn’t say it very loud. “I’m really sorry for inconveniencing you, I’ll go back to my apartment, thank you for letting me stay here, and sorry again.” He turned around, but was caught by Woojin’s hands which turned him back around to face the older. 

“That’s what you’re apologizing for?” Woojin’s eyes burned with an icy heat that Jisung didn’t expect from someone as kind-hearted and fluffy as Woojin.

“Um… Yeah…” Jisung said, hesitantly, not sure what Woojin’s reaction would be. 

“You should be apologizing for not taking care of yourself. You practically collapsed in the elevator! Do you know how worried we were for you?” Woojin’s lecture started with real anger, but it devolved into concern. “You need to sleep, Sungie.” Jisung looked up at Woojin’s use of his nickname, his eyes shining. The anger in Woojin’s eyes was now only worry, and Jisung suddenly felt as if his throat was tight, and he couldn’t speak. Woojin simply pulled him in for a hug.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jisung choked out. “I didn’t think about it.” 

“It’s okay, Jisung, I just don’t want you to overwork yourself. It’s only the second day of the semester and I know we haven’t known each other for long at all, but we can tell that you’re a good person, so we care about you staying healthy, okay?”

Jisung nodded, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over. Woojin smiled at him, and Jisung laughed which caused the tears to disappear. “I’m sorry I’m such an idiot for pulling an all-nighter on the second day of classes. I always do stupid stuff like that.” Woojin just shook his head and smiled. 

“As long as you take care of yourself properly in the future, we won’t have an issue,” Woojin said, and handed him a granola bar seemingly out of nowhere. “Now eat that.” 

Jisung complied and took the bar gratefully, scarfing it down in mere moments. Just after he was finished, the sounds of the others arriving back at the dorm filtered through the door. Woojin went to go greet them and Jisung followed. 

“Sungie, you’re awake!” Felix cried, and hugged the boy tight. Hyunjin joined in not a second later. Pulling away, Felix hit him on the shoulder, not very hard, but more than just playfully. “Don’t do that again, okay? We were so worried when Chan texted us!” 

Jisung nodded solemnly, “I’ve already gotten my scolding from Woojin, I won’t do it again.” He hung his head, “I just really had to finish the song...” 

“It’s usually not this bad when you get like that,” Hyunjin said, frowning.

“That’s because I used to just skip school the day after, but today was the first day of classes, so I couldn’t skip,” Jisung explained. “I would have if it were any other day.”

“Are you satisfied with the song?” Chan finally spoke up.

“It’s going to be my best yet!” Jisung said, beaming. “It’s still not professional and there’s some kinks I need to work out but, it’s gonna be awesome. Chan, can you listen to it and give me some criticism? Oh, and you too, Changbin!” Jisung said, finally noticing Changbin hanging behind Felix, who simply nodded.

“I’d love to,” Chan said. “But, my condition is that you can’t ever get that bad again, okay? I totally understand all-nighters, but if you get so tired you can’t stand, then you have to sleep.” 

“Okay!” Jisung said happily. “The only reason it got so bad was because I slept really poorly the night before as well,” he mentioned, attempting to explain why it wouldn’t happen again. Felix and Hyunjin glanced at him with concern, but after a warning glance from Jisung, neither said anything. 

“Anyway! Food!” Chan said, gesturing vaguely to the bucket of fried chicken that Changbin was holding, seemingly ignorant of the look shared between the three roommates. Jisung nodded enthusiastically, glad to finally be eating, and glad to be off the topic of him. He strategically didn’t tell anyone about how long it had been since he had eaten, he had already learned his lesson and didn’t want to make anyone worry more than they already were. 

As soon as the boys began to eat, the tension in the air seemed to vanish, with Felix leading a lively discussion about a mind breaking realization he had had that day.

“Okay, but hear me out. Fingers have fingertips. BUT toes don’t have toe tips! But we tiptoe, and we can’t tipfinger.” Felix huffed as the others laughed at him, “This is very important!” 

Everyone pretended not to notice as Changbin booped Felix’s pouty cheeks, which made Felix suddenly very shy. 

“Felix, you are such a dork.” Hyunjin shook his head, but he was smiling, his eyes shining with affection.

When Jisung eventually said he was going to go attempt to sleep and fix his sleep schedule, Chan jumped out of his seat and offered to take him back to his room. Jisung looked suspicious, but let the other follow him nonetheless. Hyunjin and Felix stayed behind to help finish cleaning up. Once they were outside of Chan’s apartment, Chan opened his mouth like he was going to say something. Jisung grimaced, waiting for the lecture.

“I got you some melatonin,” Chan stated, reaching into his pocket and producing a bottle of gummies. 

“What? I didn’t know they came in gummies??” Jisung said, reaching for them eagerly, before becoming guilty that Chan bought them for him. “Hyung, you didn’t have to.” He closed Chan’s hand on the bottle, but Chan just rolled his eyes and pressed the bottle into Jisung’s hands. 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice the look you three shared. I know something’s up. I won’t ask you to tell me about it now,” Chan took a deep breath, “But just know that everyone deserves to be happy. So do you. And, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.” 

“Hyung, you’ve known me for a total of three days. Why would you care?” Jisung mumbled, and was surprised to see Chan’s face twist in a sad irritation after his comment. 

“Okay. I know we barely know each other. But I also know that I am a great judge of character, and I can tell that you are a wonderful person. I want to help you if you’re struggling. So, I understand if you’re not comfortable being completely open with us, but know, we’re here for you.” Chan finished, sighing. 

Jisung realized that his eyes were misty, and he even surprised himself when he hugged Chan. The older boy returned the hug without question, giving a few comforting pats. The tears in Jisung’s eyes spilled over silently, but when he pulled away, Chan didn’t acknowledge them, instead he just wiped them away.

“Thank you, hyung,” His voice almost stuck in his throat, and the unspoken context was clear: he wouldn’t say anything now, but he knew that Chan was there for him, and he was grateful. 

When Jisung was about to get into bed, Hyunjin and Felix had come back into the dorm. A soft knock sounded from his door, and he grumbled, “Come in,” proceeding to crawl into bed regardless of the company. The two boys filed into the room, and sat on the edge of Jisung’s bed. A small silence filled the room, but Hyunjin broke it by laying down next to Jisung and hugging him. Felix followed suit and soon they were all cuddling on the small bed.

“Hey,” Hyujin muttered softly. “We love you so much.” Felix nodded solemnly, or at least that’s what it felt like to Jisung whose eyes were already closed, enjoying the comfort of his friends.

“I don’t know what I would be without you,” Felix’s tired voice said almost inaudibly. Jisung’s heart swelled and he clutched Felix’s arm tighter. How is it that they always knew when he was feeling like a burden? He didn’t complain about their clairvoyance.

“Thanks, guys. You know exactly how to make me feel better. I love you guys too. More than you can imagine,” Jisung murmured, already slipping into sleep thanks to Chan’s melatonin gummies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99


	6. In Which the Song is Finished, Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late, technically it's still Saturday at 11:45 in my original timezone, even though it's Sunday at 5:45 in Scotland, let's just ignore that part tho

Jisung adjusted the sensitivity of the mic one more time before nodding to Seungmin. “Okay, this time I want the pitch to fall at the end of the line, but stay strong. Don’t let it get lost. Almost like an ad lib.” Seungmin gave a sharp nod, and when Jisung hit record, he began singing his line again. Seungmin's voice floated into the headphones that Jisung was wearing, and the producer nodded in approval. 

_A wonderful coincidence, a haze of colors keep the twilight at bay, a wonderful coincidence._

“Ah, that one was perfect!” Jisung exclaimed, after Seungmin was done singing his verse. “That means we’re done! You guys were awesome! I just have to edit that last part in and then the track will be done.”

This had been the second recording session over the past month. Jisung already put almost every line into the song, all the parts that Woojin and Jeongin sang, and Felix and Changbin’s rap, but the chorus lines had been giving him some troubles. Today he’d finally figured out how to fit it in perfectly, and all it would take would be a little editing before it was completely done.

In fact, it only took about twenty minutes, during which Seungmin wandered into the kitchen and took some of Hyunjin’s food without asking, not that he needed to. Jeongin just played on his phone.

“AHA!” Jisung called triumphantly. “It’s done!” Seungmin strode over to the couch, sitting beside him coolly as if he didn’t care, but he couldn’t hide the smile on his face.

Hyunjin and Felix were both in their rooms, and at Jisung’s (very loud) exclamation, they emerged, looking a little confused. “GUYS! I’m done with the song! Do you want to hear it?” Jisung said excitedly and Felix happily waddled over to sit next to him. Hyunjin followed suit, and was about to sit down when Jisung exclaimed, “Wait! We have to show the hyungs!” He hopped up, carrying his laptop with him to the door, “Come on!” They followed him without a word, all radiating a sense of pride for their friend. 

Jisung knocked on the door of Chan’s apartment and was surprised to see Minho open the door. Usually Minho was at work, and honestly, Jisung hadn’t hung out with him very much over the month that they’d been in school. Not that Jisung was complaining- he preferred to avoid the whole soulmate problem- but every time the older boy smiled his direction, his heartbeat involuntarily sped up. Minho smiled when he saw who was at the door, and, of course, it didn’t fail to make Jisung’s heart stutter. 

“Oh, hey Minho-hyung! I wasn’t expecting you to be home,” Jisung said, once again brushing aside any thoughts about soulmates. 

“Oh yeah, I got fired,” The older boy said casually, and chuckled when the younger looked surprised. “I poured a cup of coffee on this couple that were saying that people who don’t have soul tattoos are defects. So worth it.” The older boy looked smug, and opened the door further to let the entourage in. 

“Hey, Chan, Woojin, Changbin!” Jisung said when they entered the living room. He sat down in the middle of the couch and everyone else followed suit. “Oh right, Minho hyung, you’re the only one who hasn’t met Seungmin and Jeongin. They’re our friends from high school.” He gestured to the two he was talking about. Minho inclined his head slightly and politely smiled at the younger boys. 

“Um, sorry if this is a little direct, but you seem to have strong feelings about people without soul tattoos…” Jeongin started hesitantly, “Does that mean you don’t have one?” 

Jisung held his breath as he waited for the answer. Over the past month, he’d only been around Minho a few times, since the older was always working. The topic of soul tattoos had never come up when they were together either. He silently thanked Jeongin for being so direct and asking the question he himself had been scared to ask. 

“Yeah, I’m a blank canvas,” Minho said, but it looked like it didn’t bother him. Jisung let out his breath, and he was suddenly relieved. He hadn’t realized how heavily that question had been weighing on him. Hyunjin’s mouth opened slightly in surprise and he shifted in his seat, but he didn’t say anything. His face shifted from one of surprise to one of deep thought.

“Oh, okay, I was just wondering. Sorry if it was personal,” Jeongin said hurriedly, but was interrupted by Chan’s giggle. 

“Oh Jeongin, he’s very open about it. Don’t worry,” Chan poked Jeongin on the cheek and the younger squirmed away. Chan was very infatuated with the maknae of their little group, and he didn’t hide it. He thought Jeongin was the cutest person he’d ever met. 

“Okay, anyway, I wanted to show you guys the finished track!” Jisung said proudly, pulling up the file on his laptop. He took a deep breath before hitting play. The music drifted through the room, and a lazy beat with a major key provided a sense of a clear summer evening, or at least Jisung hoped it did. He suddenly became a little bit shy, but was encouraged as everyone around him was nodding and smiling. Minho was smiling and looking into the distance, twiddling his hands. Chan’s eyes were closed and his dimple was showing as he held onto Woojin’s arm, glancing up at the him proudly whenever his boyfriend’s voice came onto the track. 

When Felix’s rap approached, the aussie began to fidget nervously. Changbin patted him on the shoulder and Felix relaxed. The next line started, and Jisung observed the two soulmates. He’d had them rap the same part separately and then made it into a duet. Over the past month, the chemistry between the two had been undeniable even though they hadn’t yet kissed to establish the bond- according to Felix. Jisung loved to poke fun at their bond and make them flustered, so he had kept the duet a secret that way it would be unexpected and he could watch their reactions. Changbin looked surprised and Felix just blushed.

When the song was over, he waited a few beats before asking timidly, “Thoughts?” He was answered by a chorus of positive comments, and his anxiety melted away. Jeongin, who had been sitting right next to Jisung, gave his hyung a pat on the shoulder and an affectionate smile.

“Have you studied lyrical writing?” Changbin asked first. “Because the lyrics are really good. I mean the whole thing is good, but the lyrics are the best part.” Jisung nodded thoughtfully. 

“I haven’t studied it formally, but I’ve been doing it for a long time,” He said, his chest swelling with pride. 

“I can tell, you’re really talented. You definitely chose the right major.” Chan’s encouraging smile and praise made Jisung blush. “Are you glad to have it over with?”

This made Jisung think about the month it had taken to record the music. He’d become a lot closer with the upperclassmen and had been able to spend time with his other friends too.He truly felt like he belonged.

“I’m glad I don’t have to worry about finishing it on time, but I loved all the time I got to spend with you guys. Thank you so much, by the way, for helping me.” Jisung gestured around at the singers and rappers.

“Yeah and Hyunjin and I can start choreo now, so it’ll be a thousand times more awesome than it already is.” Minho raised his eyebrow and gave Jisung a look that he couldn’t interpret even if he tried. A little flirty, a little expectant, and something else that he couldn't place. Whatever it was implying, Minho’s eye contact made Jisung’s heart beat faster

“Was that supposed to be a compliment, hyung?” Jisung pouted, attempting to ignore his body’s reaction to his soulmate.

“That was an awesome compliment coming from me.” Minho said, no longer giving Jisung any weird looks.

“This is true,” Changbin interjected. “Once he told me that I was a lot less ugly than usual and when I got mad he didn’t understand why.” 

“Don’t you--” Minho made a move towards Changbin playfully but Woojin stopped that before it became anything serious, interrupting with an idea.

“How about we go out to celebrate? We can get barbeque!” He offered, and the mock fight between Minho and Changbin was forgotten. 

“Yes, let’s do it!” Felix cheered, and soon everyone was filing out of the upperclassmen’s dorm. After a quick stop in the other dorm to retrieve wallets and shoes, the boys were off, piling into Woojin and Minho’s cars. Chan had never gotten a Korean driver’s license, so the other two oldest were the only ones who could drive. Jisung was dumped unceremoniously into the eldest’s car, and the drive to the boys’ favorite barbeque was only 10 minutes. 

Thankfully a table was open that would seat a party of 9. None of them had thought about calling ahead to warn the restaurant that there were so many of them. Once they had gotten their drinks Chan stood up and raised his glass. Jisung tugged on the older boy’s sleeve urgently, trying to stop whatever nonsense he was about to say about a meaningless school project.

“To Jisung’s beautiful song!” he said, and Jisung cringed, but surprisingly, everyone toasted to him, and suddenly Jisung felt very timid. He looked down at his lap, and waited for it to be over.

But before he could start to wallow in his thoughts and convince himself that he was unworthy of all this praise, Hyunjin ducked into his field of view. 

“Jisung, you have to toast too otherwise it’s bad luck, c’mon!” The older boy’s eyesmile couldn’t be ignored, and Jisung reluctantly raised his glass. 

“It’s just a class project, guys,” He said bemusedly, but toasted nevertheless, a small smile on his lips. 

“Yeah, but it’s a class project that we’re all working on together, so what better excuse to go out and have some barbeque?” Minho laughed and winked at Jisung, causing the younger to almost choke on his drink, though he managed to swallow it.

“He does that to everyone, don’t worry,” Chan said cheerfully. 

Well, that certainly complicated things. How was Jisung supposed to know how Minho felt about him if he flirted with everyone? He supposed that this meant he would have to do real research, which meant hanging out with the older boy. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, deciding to focus on bonding with the whole group today, and anything individual with Minho could come later. 

The evening was tinted with a deep blue, a very soothing and meaningful color. Everyone’s sense of humour meshed well, and for a moment Jisung felt whole. Jeongin and Seungmin had made his little circle complete, and he knew that these friends would last a lifetime. 

About an hour into the meal, everyone was winding down and it was almost time to go home. Jisung decided that he needed to wash his hands, so he excused himself to the bathroom. There was a bit of a line so he leaned up against a wall, tapping his foot as he waited.

“I can’t believe that Jimin was one of those.” Jisung tried not to overhear the conversation next to him, but it was difficult when there was nothing else to do. Two men ahead of him in line were conversing heatedly.

“Yeah, I thought he was our friend. We can’t be friends with a _faggot _like him.” Jisung flinched at the malice in the man’s words, especially _that _one. His eyes began to water. “Anyone that would complete a same sex bond like that is disgusting.” A lump formed in Jisung’s throat and he struggled to breathe around it. When a stall opened, he took it even though he came here to wash his hands. He sat on the toilet and the tears that had been welling in his eyes spilled over. His brain began mocking him with involuntary flashbacks.____

_____“You should never have been born, faggot.” Spit flew from his father’s mouth and hit 10 year old Jisung in the face, causing him to flinch. He clutched his blanket in his hands, and held back the tears. If he cried now, he’d only be hit. “Your stupid tattoo, couldn’t it have been anything other than hyung?? You disgust me.”__ _ _ _

____Jisung sat in the stall for almost ten minutes before he could breathe properly and had calmed down. He knew he probably looked terrible now, so he peeked out of the stall. He saw a few randoms, but nobody he knew, and not those two jerks from earlier. He went to the sink and splashed his face with some cold water until he looked acceptable. When he looked behind himself in the mirror, he cursed under his breath. Minho was behind him, of-fucking-course he was. He was looking at Jisung, confused and concerned._ _ _ _

____“H-Hey, Minho-hyung!” The voice that came out of his throat was higher-pitched and more strained than he had hoped it would be, and he winced. “I just felt like I could use a face wash, you know, sometimes barbeque really makes you break out, so I just...y’know…” He mimicked splashing water onto his face and laughed awkwardly. Minho raised his eyebrow incredulously._ _ _ _

____“I guess if you want me to believe that, I will,” Minho said but, by the look on his face, Jisung could tell that he wouldn’t be forgetting this moment any time soon. “Anyway, you’ve been in here forever, everyone was worried. Let’s go.” Minho grabbed Jisung’s wrist and pulled him out of the bathroom, causing an involuntary shiver down the younger’s spine._ _ _ _

____Thankfully, the cold water on his face had made him look presentable, so nobody else noticed the aftermath of his little outburst. He had just been unlucky enough that Minho walked in while he was disposing of the evidence._ _ _ _

____On the ride home, Jisung specifically chose to ride in Woojin’s car. He couldn’t face his soulmate right now, he was too fragile. In Woojins’s car with him were Hyunjin, Changbin and Felix. Felix was wedged in between Hyunjin and Changbin, his head on Changbin’s shoulder, and his legs splayed over Hyunjin’s lap._ _ _ _

____“Hey Jisung, do you mind showing me your recording setup when we get back? I really want to change mine up and the sound quality on your song is really good.” Changbin said, trying to pretend that he wasn’t absolutely loving Felix’s head on his shoulder._ _ _ _

____“Sure, hyung, no problem!” Jisung said, but remained silent for the rest of the car ride. When they arrived back at the dorms, Changbin asked Chan to come with him to check out Jisung’s sound set up, which Jisung found at least a little bit suspicious, but didn’t question it._ _ _ _

____“So here’s the mic I use, and I also have these,” He pointed to the sound absorbing wall pads that he had tacked to his wall. “These ones are really cheap but if you layer them you get that professional sound. I’m on scholarship here so you gotta do what you gotta do,” Jisung said, finishing up his little tour. Chan and Changbin nodded, and Jisung started to lead them out of his room._ _ _ _

____“Wait,” Changbin interjected before Jisung could open his door. Jisung froze with his hand reaching out towards the doorknob. He turned around slowly and inwardly groaned. Chan and Changbin both looked solemn, had Minho told them about finding him crying in the bathroom?_ _ _ _

____“We, uh, just wanted to make sure you’re sleeping,” Changbin mumbled, looking away. “You always look tired and you’ve gotta be overworking yourself.”_ _ _ _

____“As music production majors too, we know how hard it can be to stop working on something you’re really passionate about, I am very guilty of it myself, but you’re too young to be wasting away at the keys at night,” Chan said and Changbin nodded pensively._ _ _ _

____“You’re not that much older than me, Chan-hyung, what makes it okay for you?” Jisung grumbled._ _ _ _

____“Don’t turn this on me, I know I have a problem with sleep too, but it’s something I’m already working on,” Chan said, a little embarrassed but also stern._ _ _ _

____“Okay, I appreciate the concern, but music is not the reason I can’t sleep,” Jisung snapped, then immediately felt bad. “Sorry, I...it’s a sensitive topic.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it, we don’t mean to intrude--” Chan started shepherding Changbin towards the door, but Jisung cut him off._ _ _ _

____“No, I want to tell you.” He didn’t know what had gotten into him, why the words had even come out of his mouth, but for some reason, he trusted these two already. “Um, do you want to sit down? It’s a bit of a long story.” He climbed onto his bed, leaning against the wall, and beckoned the two older boys, who followed suit._ _ _ _

____“So…” Jisung took a deep breath. “A few months after I was born, my mother got sick and died.” He shook his head when Changbin let out a noise of sympathy “It was so long ago, I don’t remember her at all. So, anyway, my father didn’t really like the fact that I had survived and my mother didn’t. He started drinking, but he didn’t actually hit me until I was 8.” Chan sucked in a breath at that, and looked pained. He placed a hand on Jisung’s shoulder comfortingly. Jisung carefully tiptoed around the issue of his tattoo, specifically not mentioning it._ _ _ _

____“He never stopped after that. I was emotionally and physically abused from when I was 8 years old until I was 15, when I decided to run away. I was found by this old couple that reported my situation to the authorities, and I got put into foster care. The couple that found me are my parents now, they adopted me eventually, and we moved to Seoul together. I’m so grateful to them, because somehow I turned out to be much less fucked up than I could have been.” He chuckled dryly, but was met with no laughs in response. “So basically, the reason I don’t sleep very well sometimes is because I have really intense nightmares, flashbacks to when I lived with _him. _” Jisung shuddered. He didn’t tell them about the self harm. Why would he? Just to worry them? It was pointless.___ _ _ _

______After a few moments of silence, during which Jisung could not bring himself to look away from his hands cradled limply in his lap, Changbin finally made a move. He lunged over and hugged Jisung. Chan followed, and soon they were in a tight hug with Jisung sandwiched in between the two._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thanks for telling us,” Chan said softly, his voice breaking a little. When Jisung finally looked up, Changbin’s eyes were watering, and Chan’s face was streaked with tears._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Um,” Jisung said hesitantly, “Would you mind telling Woojin this? I have only ever told that story one other time and I don’t really want to do it again soon. I guess Minho too, if he’s interested at all. Otherwise, he would be the only one that didn’t know.” Jisung didn’t particularly want to tell anyone else his sob story so soon after telling it for the second time ever. He couldn’t even fathom doing it to his soulmate that he barely knew, who didn’t even know that he was his soulmate._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can do that for you.” Chan said, giving Jisung a salute which made Jisung let out a watery laugh._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thank you,” Jisung said. “I don’t usually trust people easily, but you guys are already like family to me, and I needed you guys to know. So, thank you for listening.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course we’ll listen, we care about you, dumbass.” Changbin joked, relieving a bit of the tension._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay, now get out, because I’m gonna try this thing you call sleep.” Jisung pushed Chan off of him, albeit a little reluctantly. The two older boys clambered off of the bed, and Jisung pulled the covers over himself. “Turn the lights off and shut the door, thanks mom,” Jisung said, laughing when Chan made a fake annoyed face at the him. Nonetheless, Chan did as he was asked, and soon Jisung was left alone in the room. Somehow, though, he didn’t feel lonely._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99


	7. In Which Jisung Is Way Above His Pay Grade

The music started again and Hyunjin’s body began to move along, marking the moves from the beginning of the song. He watched himself in the mirror to make sure he was doing them the choreography correctly. Hyunjin rather liked the way he looked when he was dancing, it felt as if he belonged. He had started to dance rather late in his life, but had picked it up quickly. He was often praised by instructors for how sharp and powerful his movements were, and it was one thing that he always felt confident doing.

The two did the last verse full-out a final time. Once the song was over, Minho went to grab his phone. Hyunjin wiped sweat from his nose before it dripped off. The sweat made him feel good, energized, even. It was the result of his own hard work to become something more than just a pretty face with no tattoo, and he loved it.

“Okay, let me record the whole thing full out so we can send it to everyone and they can start learning it from that, or at least know what it looks like.” Minho started the music over and recorded as Hyunjin danced as hard as he could. 

Once they were finished recording, they headed to the changing room. It was empty; Minho had access to the studios at all hours since he was a TA in the dance department--so he’d gotten them in past closing time.

“I know you’re interior design and all, but I definitely think you should add a dance minor. You’re really good,” Minho praised the younger as he packed his clothes into his gym bag. He didn’t look very sincere but his tone of voice sounded like he was. Hyunjin nodded thoughtfully, he had already thought about adding a dance minor, and now he had a friend who could help him out if he ever had any trouble. The only problem was that he could never understand what Minho was thinking.

“Minho-hyung?” Hyunjin began tentatively, and continued after the older gave a vague, positive-sounding grunt. “I can never figure out what you’re thinking.” 

“Well, right then I was thinking that you should have a dance minor. I thought I said that,” Minho said, giving his best evil smirk. He dodged a playful hit from Hyunjin.

“You know what I meant, dumbass.” Hyunjin said, sounding a little hurt, even though he was pretty sure that Minho was joking.

“Yeah, I’m kind of all over the place, I get it,” he chuckled, not seeming embarrassed at all. “You’ll get used to it. And, you can always ask Woojin to translate for you.”

“Uh, there is one thing I’ve really wanted to ask about, if you’re okay with it?” Hyunjin sat down on the wooden bench in front of the lockers, and looked up and Minho questioningly. “It’s about soul mate tattoos, or well, the absence of one.” 

Minho straddled the bench and faced Hyunjin, “Sure, go ahead.” 

“I don’t have one either,” Hyunjin looked at his hands cradled in his lap, “But it really bothers me, unlike you. You’re so carefree. How do you do it?” Hyunjin’s eyes were misty and he forced himself to blink and clear them. 

“Honestly? It does bother me sometimes.” Minho took a moment to gather his thoughts, “I don’t think about it often, though. I just live positively. I like to believe that when my soulmate and I meet, we’ll just know.” 

“But, what if-what if I’ve already met mine, and just don’t know it?” A look of horror crossed his face, “What if they don’t have a tattoo either, and we never know?” A tear fell onto his hand and he wiped his face immediately, turning away from Minho.

Minho swallowed, realizing what Hyunjin might be thinking; That they might be soulmates. Since neither of them had tattoos, there was only one way to tell. He didn’t feel any sort of connection to Hyunjin, other than he felt as if he should set an example for him as a hyung. You never knew for sure, though. He steeled himself for what he was about to do.

“Hey,” Minho grabbed Hyunjin’s shoulder and turned the younger back towards him, “Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?” Hyunjin sniffled and shrugged, still looking down at his hands. “Okay, I’m going to do something, and don’t let this affect us, okay? We just have to make doubly sure,” Minho said smoothly, his doubt completely hidden from his voice. He was 95% sure that Hyunjin was not his soulmate, but he also knew that this would be best, even if just to stabilize Hyunjin’s emotions.

Minho brought his hand up to Hyunjin’s chin and lifted his head so that their eyes met. He glanced down at Hyunjin’s lips, and began to lean in, slowly enough that if the younger decided he was uncomfortable, he could easily stop him. But he didn’t. Their lips met for only a moment. Minho couldn’t lie, Hyunjin’s lips were very soft and he didn’t hate the kiss, but he didn’t feel anything at all. He stepped back almost immediately. 

“Well?” Minho said, lightly, “Anything other than me being a great kisser?” 

“Nothing,” Hyunjin visibly relaxed. His cheeks and the tips of his ears were dusted pink and Minho chuckled. “What?” The younger boy was suddenly very self conscious. He’d only kissed one other person in his life, and that had been back in freshman year of high school.

“Oh nothing, you’re just adorable.” Minho laughed, and reached out to ruffle Hyunjin’s hair. “We’re not soulmates, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be good friends.” Hyunjin nodded, still looking a little bit unsure. Minho pulled Hyunjin off of the bench they had been sitting on and dusted off his shoulders. 

“I don’t like to do this sappy bullshit but trust me, you’ll find them. Everything will work out. I have those same doubts sometimes too, but you can’t spend your life just thinking about it. Live.” Hyunjin surprised Minho by hugging him like the clingy boy he was. Minho returned the hug. When Hyunjin pulled away, his tears were dried. 

“Thanks, Minho-hyung. I’ve never been close to anyone that didn’t have a tattoo, so, thanks.” Minho smiled and ruffled Hyunjin’s hair again.

“Anyway, now that that sob fest is over, let’s send this video out! Jisung will be happy that the choreo is done!” Minho immediately lightened the mood and, as they walked out of the studio, Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel like a 100-pound weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Hyunjin slung his bag over his shoulder and pulled out his cellphone. He tapped on the contact name “Dumb Squirrel” and waited for Jisung to pick up. 

“Hello?” Jisung answered quickly. 

“Sungie, we’re done with the choreo, we’re posting it on youtube in like half an hour and then we’ll send everyone the link,” Hyunjin said excitedly.

“Yes! Thank you sooo much for doing that for me, and please thank Minho-hyung for me too!” Jisung gushed.

“It’s fine, it’s something I like to do anyway. And you thank Minho-hyung yourself, you’re on speaker,” Hyunjin quickly did as he had said and put Jisung on speaker. 

“U-uh hi?” Jisung stuttered suddenly. Hyunjin frowned.

“Nobody else is here, you know. It’s just me and Minho-hyung,” He smiled, convinced that he had reassured Jisung of any doubt he may have had.

“Oh, uh, right. Minho-hyung, thank you so much for choreographing the dance with Hyunjin, it means a lot.” Jisung’s voice got stronger near the end.

“Ah, no problem, I’m just your coolest hyung now, and you can’t argue,” Minho looked at Hyunjin and shrugged, finality in his voice, “I don’t make the rules.”

“H-hey! You don’t know me nearly as well as your roommates do, even if it was really cool of you to do this for me!” Jisung protested. Of course the two dancers couldn’t see, but he was blushing fiercely.

“Yeah, it was. You’re gonna get the best grade in the class and the professor will use this project as an example for future classes. It’s gonna be all because of your friends and most importantly, me,” Minho laughed. 

“I’d like to think I’m doing at least some of the work,” Jisung grumbled, not expecting anyone to hear, but of course Hyunjin butted in, defending Jisung.

“You are doing almost everything,” Hyunjin reassured him, and shot Minho a Look™. Minho rolled his eyes, but complied to Hyunjin’s silent plead.

“You’re doing great, sweetie,” Minho said in the sugariest voice he could muster. Hyunjin gave Minho an exasperated look, but ended the call with Jisung after saying a few quick goodbyes, Hyunjin and Jisung exchanging “I love you”s. 

“Don’t look at me like that, I just like messing with him! It’s my new favorite pastime,” Minho said, raising his hands in a surrendering gesture. 

“Jisungie may look strong from the outside, but he’s really a big softie. Feel free to mess with him, but make sure he knows he’s appreciated at the end of the day,” Hyunjin warned, a tenderness in his voice. “Please,” He added, which made Minho’s smile falter. 

“O-okay.” Minho stuttered, taken aback by how seriously Hyunjin took this. He continued: “You guys all seem very protective of him,” His tone at the end of the sentence slightly lifted, and he left it up to Hyunjin to determine whether it was a question or not.

“Yeah. Kind of like a Jisung’s heart protection squad,” Hyunjin chuckled. “He may not look it, but he really needs people to lean on,” Hyunjin said carefully, tiptoeing around any details he might accidentally give about Jisung’s past when he hadn’t been given permission. 

Minho just nodded, his face blank as it often was, the seed of interest growing in his mind not at all displayed on its surface.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jisung regretted agreeing to this. Sure, he learned dances best by watching someone, but when he had asked Hyunjin to teach him the choreo in person, he assumed that it would just be Hyunjin. As it turned out, Hyunjin had some test come up and couldn’t help him learn the dance. He’d apologized profusely and said that Minho would be glad to help, that he’d even let Jisung use the studio! Which meant alone time with Minho. 

Jisung presumed it was about time he tried to spend some time completely alone with his soulmate, but the thought made his stomach churn. He’d reluctantly agreed to learn the dance with Minho, thinking that maybe he would finally find the courage to come clean. Now, with Minho’s eyes closely watching him perfect a particularly difficult eight count, he knew it would be difficult. Every time Minho even looked in his direction, Jisung’s heart fluttered. The sweat that plastered Minho’s hair to his forehead dripped down into the rest of his face, giving him a natural, almost primal glow that Jisung couldn’t look at for too long without getting flustered.

“Ah, for this part, your chest should be isolated backwards. You’re using your whole body instead of just the chest.” Minho left his post leaning on the mirror and approached Jisung. “Here,” He put his hand on Jisung’s hip, holding it in place. Jisung swallowed, the touch of Minho’s hand on his body left a tingling sensation that he couldn’t explain. Minho placed his hand gently on Jisung’s chest and pushed it away, still holding firmly onto Jisung’s hip. 

“Do you feel that?” Minho said in a low voice that made Jisung shiver, “How your chest and lower body move separately?”

“Yeah,” Jisung managed softly, the proximity of Minho rendering him incapable of any other sentence. When Minho stepped back, Jisung let out a big breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. 

“That’s how you do that move,” Minho said, retreating back to his spot by the mirror, seemingly unaffected. “Once you’ve got that down, you’ve got the whole thing.”

Jisung nodded intently, focusing on the music and dancing instead of the one thing he didn’t understand-- the enigma that was Lee Minho. He was either teasing and indifferent, or flirty as hell. Jisung had seen him flirt with his other friends, so he knew that this was just something Minho did, but it hadn’t yet failed to fluster the young composer. 

Once the dance was over and approved by Minho, Jisung felt the tension leave his shoulders. Once he was out of Minho’s sight, he would stop having to worry about being as perfect as he could be. Honestly, being around Minho was confusing. It exhausted him, but it also made him feel unexplainably energized. Maybe he should just get it over with and tell the other,. then all this nonsense would end and even if Minho didn’t think he was all that great, Jisung would at least be able to talk about his situation. 

When he turned around, his mouth open and poised to spill everything, he couldn’t even think of where to start. Minho looked at him with that unreadable expression and Jisung’s sentence stuck in his throat. 

“Uh, yeah?” Minho asked incredulously, raising his eyebrow which made Jisung want to sprint out of the room. He held fast though, and with his quick wit he came up with a sentence that he was sure would sound logical.

“We record tomorrow?” He squeaked out a caveman-like sentence, and cursed his stupid, fuzzy brain for relaxing too soon.

“Ask others,” Minho responded, his expression morphing into that teasing face he used all the time. Jisung just chuckled and nodded, hoping he hid his awkwardness well enough. Minho didn’t react oddly to anything, so Jisung retreated to the safety of digging through his duffel bag for his street shoes, glad to have an excuse to stop looking at Minho.

Jisung silently cursed himself for not being able to talk to Minho. If he wasn’t even able to speak to his soulmate, how was he supposed to be in a committed relationship with him someday? He found his shoes and threw them on the ground, a little harder than he intended to. He looked up to see if Minho had noticed, but Minho was just looking at him with this blank face, blinking a little more than usual. Jisung’s lip twitched in annoyance. That blank face was the reason he couldn’t understand his soulmate. If only he could read the older’s emotions, maybe then he’d be out of this mess by now.

The irritation was short lived, as Minho threw out a blinding smile that almost made Jisung’s heart stop. He picked up the shoe that Jisung had thrown and handed it back to him. Jisung melted a little bit. Maybe he had only known Minho for a little while, but that didn’t stop Jisung from slowly falling for him. Today, Jisung had barely been able to focus on the dance he was being taught because Minho was so beautiful, but it wasn’t just his beauty that Jisung had become fond of. It was the stupid, completely random comments he made that only Jisung would react to, and the absent minded smile that crept up on his face when he was listening to the others’ banter. It was the expression he had when he was focused, the one where his eyebrows scrunched together and he pursed his lips. All these things he’d noticed just since Minho had been fired. If he thought he was in deep before, now he was sinking into the Marianas Trench.

“Do you want to walk back to the dorms together?” Jisung was snapped out of his trance, and nodded weakly at Minho’s suggestion. Minho patted Jisung’s shoulder, “It only makes sense, we live like 3 feet from each other’s doors.”

“It’s at least 30 feet, Minho-hyung,” Jisung grumbled under his breath. 

“Divided by 10 is 3,” Minho hummed, and Jisung just rolled his eyes, relaxing at least a bit. 

“You make no sense.” Jisung flinched as Minho poked him hard in the side. “Um, OW?” He said, covering his ribs from further attacks. 

“I make sense to myself and that’s all that matters,” Minho said, turning up his nose and stalking a few paces ahead of Jisung. When he wasn’t immediately followed, Minho turned around and gave a puzzled look to the younger boy. “You were supposed to follow me.” 

“How am I supposed to know that, hyung?” Jisung quipped. He tried not to let his frustration with Minho’s unpredictable personality into his words.

“You’ve got a point there,” Minho slowed down to let Jisung catch up to him, “I’ve heard that I’m kind of a weird hyung.” He didn’t look as if it bothered him, but Jisung was curious.

“Well, I mean, you are. It’s refreshing though. Life would be boring without a little weird,” Jisung ventured, hoping that Minho would expand. He wasn’t sure where his courage was coming from, but here was a chance to have a meaningful conversation with Minho, one that would help him understand what went on in his soulmate’s head. He decided not to question the sudden boldness.

“Yeah, wouldn’t it?” Minho laughed. Jisung had to look away from Minho’s pure smile before he became a blushing mess, but he still waited for the rest of Minho’s thought. Which never came. Of course. 

Their walk home was spent mostly in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but Jisung couldn’t relax. He deliberately left a little more space between them than necessary, mostly because he didn’t know how well his heart could handle being too close to Minho. 

Now would be the perfect time. Jisung knew it, and so he started to practice a sentence that he knew would change his life. _Hey Minho-hyung? Um, so this probably sounds weird but…_  
Jisung let out a barely audible sigh. It was so stupid, why did nothing he thought to say sound right? Why hadn’t he just told the truth as soon as possible? 

Then Jisung remembered Minho’s adoring look when talking about his future soulmate, the conviction in his voice when talking about how undoubtedly perfect they would be, and any ideas he had about coming clean withered in his throat again. 

Soulmates shared everything, any problems they had. He couldn’t bring himself to let Minho know that his soulmate had been broken and glued back together so many times that just touching him wrong could shatter him, sending him down a path that he had promised he would never go down again. He was strong right now, and strong on the surface, but who knows what might happen in his future. 

No, he was nowhere near perfect. 

Jisung was startled when Minho made a sharp right, and when he looked up, he realized that they were already back at the dorms. He’d been lost in his thoughts for the whole 15 minute walk. 

“Everyone should be home now if you wanted to see if filming tomorrow would work,” Minho broke the silence. 

“Yeah, that’s perfect,” Jisung agreed, and followed Minho to the hyung’s dorm. 

“Hey!” Minho yelled as soon as the door was open. Jisung winced and looked behind him to see if anyone had noticed Minho’s sudden outburst, but nobody was in the hallway. “Get in here,” 

Chan swooped into the living room almost immediately, looking concerned when he saw Jisung, but he was reassured when Jisung flashed him a genuine smile, always happy to see his hyung. Woojin followed close behind, placing an affectionate hand around Chan’s waist. Chan looked back at Woojin, practically glowing with the love he felt for the elder. Just then, Changbin walked in and groaned.

“You guys. Stop it, you’re gonna rot my teeth,” he complained, pushing into the room and giving the two soulmates an exasperated look.

“Just give it some time, Binnie, and you and Felix will be right alongside us,” Woojin teased, and Changbin clammed up immediately. He notably did not disagree.

“Anyway,” Jisung interrupted, “I was wondering if you guys were free to record the music video tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow’s Sunday, right?” Chan said, and continued when Woojin nodded. “Then that’s a yes.”

“Same here,” Changbin sighed, trying and failing to look edgy to make up for his previous very flustered moment.

“And I guess I didn’t say but I’m free tomorrow too,” Minho pointed out.

“Perfect! For right now then let’s just plan to do it. I’ll ask everyone else if they can and then text you to confirm that the plan is the same,” Jisung beamed.

“Hey, where are you planning on filming?” Changbin said, his attempt to be angsty suddenly forgotten. 

“I was just gonna do the park next to the union,” Jisung shrugged. “But I’m all ears if you have other ideas.”

“I actually have a place that might work really well, if you’re interested,” Chan’s lips curved up a little, and Jisung was very much intrigued. He raised his eyebrow, inviting Chan to continue.

“I want it to be a surprise,” Chan said mischievously, which only intrigued Jisung even more. “And if you don’t like it we don’t have to film there, but I think you will. It’s only a little bit illegal.” 

“Technically it’s not illegal at all, which is the only reason I let you continue to go there,” Woojin’s words reassured Jisung who looked suddenly very concerned, and very intrigued. “I swear you either have zero or infinite brain cells, Channie.”

Once everyone had stopped laughing from Woojin’s comment, Jisung excused himself back to his own dorm. Before he was even in the door, he’d already sent a text to Seungmin and Jeongin asking if they were available to film the next day. When he swung the door to his dorm open, Hyunjin and Felix were sitting together at the table. They were bickering a little and hitting each other playfully, but when Jisung came in they turned to greet him.

“Hey guys!” Jisung said, plopping down at the table across from them. The fatigue from the dancing had just hit him. “Minho really did a number on me,” He groaned, realizing his mistake immediately.

“Wow, I didn’t realize that that’s how your guys’ relationship went,” Hyunjin smirked, and Felix was about to add his own snarky comment when Jisung interrupted him.

“I MEANT with the dance practice, you perverts,” he reached across the table to hit Hyunjin, who then acted like he’d been shot. “Now that you’re listening,” Jisung gave a pointed look, “Are you two free to film tomorrow?” 

The two broke from their little scene and nodded. “And I know the maknaes are free too,” Felix offered, and Jisung smiled. 

“Then it’s a plan!” Just then he got a text from Seungmin that confirmed what Felix had just said. Jisung opened a new chat on his phone, adding all eight of his friends into a group, and laying out their plan to meet at his dorm at 1PM the following day. Once that was done and he was showered, he fell into bed. He hadn’t been this tired in a long time, and for the first time in months, he was asleep within 10 minutes of his head hitting the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99  
> UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY


	8. In Which Jisung's Shenanigans Lead Somewhere

When the first knock on their door was heard, Jisung, Felix and Hyunjin were sprawled on the couch. Hyunjin had his head in Felix’s lap and his legs on Jisung’s, and they were watching Guardians of the Galaxy for something like the 8th time. Jisung checked his phone- it was only 12:30.

When he answered the door, Seungmin and Jeongin were standing there bickering. Seungmin was making faces at Jeongin and the younger looked somewhat annoyed, but he couldn’t hide the small smile that crept up on his face.

“Hey, you’re early!” Jisung pointed out, and the two finally noticed that the door was open. “Did you miss your hyungs?”

“No,” Seungmin deadpanned, and Jisung pouted, “We had to take an earlier bus since the one after didn’t get here until 1:15.” Seungmin smirked evilly, knowing that Jisung knew he was joking, at least about not missing them.

Jisung simply rolled his eyes led them into the dorm and sat back down on the couch. The two followed suit and managed to squeeze themselves onto the remaining cushion despite Hyunjin, who was unapologetically taking up the entire couch. They were immediately enthralled in Guardians of the Galaxy and soon their earlier bickering was forgotten. Jeongin curled (what he thought was subtly) into Seungmin’s side, and Seungmin just looked smug. The corner of Jisung’s mouth twitched up a little bit at their display of affection. 

Soon, another knock at the door came and Jisung groaned, since he’d just sat down. Hyunjin sprung up to answer the door, and Jisung gave him a thankful look. Hyunjin came back into the room with all the hyungs in tow, which surprised Jisung yet again. 

“Why are you guys so early it’s only 12:45 and you live literally 10 seconds away?” Jisung questioned, trying to make room on the couch. There was only room for one more, and Changbin took the opportunity to sit next to Felix.

“Didn’t want to be late for the big day, now did we?” Woojin said, waggling his eyebrows at Jisung who tried to hide the fact that he was blushing, but was thankfully distracted by Hyunjin.

“Yah, Changbin-hyung, you’re taking away my best friend,” Hyunjin grumbled, sitting on the arm of the sofa and enveloping Felix in a hug from behind. He rested his chin on Felix’s head, and Changbin wrinkled his nose. 

“I didn’t take anything from anyone!” Changbin asserted, tapping Hyunjin’s nose, which flustered the younger more than was probably necessary.

“Are you two together?” Minho said, very clearly making eye contact with Jeongin and Seungmin, who were only slightly disturbed among this all. Jeongin moved out of Seungmin’s arms, a little embarrassed. 

“We’re platonic soulmates,” Seungmin explained, beaming happily, and Jeongin just nodded shyly. 

Platonic soul bonds were weaker than romantic soul bonds, but they worked similarly. Even the kiss was the same, in order to feel the emotions of your soulmate and therefore become closer, you had to kiss them. For some platonic soulmates, that part was weird and uncomfortable, but for Seungmin and Jeongin, they had met when they were kids, and it was okay for young boys to kiss because it was so innocent. That trend had just...continued on into their current life, and soft platonic kisses were frequent between the two. 

Minho gave a sound of understanding, and sat down in front of the couch. Chan and Woojin followed suit, so they were in a mini circle. 

“Uh so I guess now that everyone’s here we can head out soon?” Jisung threw out, almost a question. “Although, I don’t know exactly where we’re going.” Chan beamed at this, and Woojin rolled his eyes.

“You guys are gonna love it, but you have to keep it a secret,” Chan insisted, which elicited wary nods from everyone in the room. “Come on, let’s just get going!”

“Alright, I’ll explain the concept on the way there.” Jisung announced, standing up abruptly. Everyone that had just sat down groaned, but reluctantly stood up, and began to follow Chan to wherever he was taking them.

Once they were on a decent path and well on their way to (wherever the hell Chan was taking them), Jisung began to explain the concept of his music video.

“So, the concept is about color, which I’ll be adding later, but it’s also the feelings that those colors convey. I’ve always kind of associated colors with emotions. The song is about the content feeling you get when you’re surrounded by the people you love, so like pinks and yellows.” Jisung explained. He hoped he was making sense, he’d tried explaining the colors to others before no to avail.

“I get it,” Minho spoke up, causing Jisung’s heart to stutter. “I don’t get that same exact thing but I associate songs with feelings and memories.” Jisung’s mouth fell open, but he shut it before he looked too ridiculous. “What?” Minho teased the baffled boy. He had noticed Jisung’s strange reaction. Jisung cursed himself for being so bad at hiding his emotions.

“I-uh, just had never had someone understand me that quickly,” Jisung offered, and he was telling the truth. He’d told his friends from high school all about how strong his connection with colors was, and while they had been supportive, nobody had related to what he had said. Minho had understood him immediately, and even had something similar. Jisung shook himself and continued explaining what they would be doing with the music video, but he couldn’t stop himself from lingering on that one fact about Minho.

 

“Here we are!” Chan announced, and everyone looked around. Chan had led them to a small business park that looked half abandoned. There was nothing but old buildings that looked as if they were about to collapse and the occasional weary-looking businessman trudging down the sidewalk drearily. They were standing in front of a warehouse that Jisung was very apprehensive about. He hoped that that wasn’t where Chan wanted them to shoot the music video, because it looked as if it would crumble if they went more than one floor up.

“Uh…Chan-hyung?” Seungmin was the first brave one to speak up. “This…isn’t it, is it?”

“Yes! C’mon!” Chan entered the building. Everyone else stayed put, but Woojin gave everyone a bit of reassurance.

“Trust me on this, he’s not crazy. And, the building is made of brick so it’s actually really sturdy.” Woojin followed his soulmate into the warehouse. Seungmin and Jeongin glanced at each other. Jeongin looked like he was terrified but trying to hide it. Seungmin grabbed his soulmate’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Changbin walked into the warehouse and Felix followed close behind him, gently holding onto the bottom of his sleeve. (and they thought they were being subtle).

Jisung entered next, and Minho was close behind, making sure the maknaes were in tow. Jisung followed Felix up what felt like 20 flights of stairs, until they finally emerged on the roof, and Jisung gasped.

The terrace had been made into a little hideout. Chan had pieces of tin that he had made into a makeshift roof propped over two couches with a rug in the middle. A TV sat in front of the two couches, and Jisung wondered briefly if Chan had electricity up here. His thoughts were confirmed when Chan, who had previously been rustling around in a corner, plugged in a string of fairy lights that ran along the entire roof.

“TA DA!” Chan announced, throwing his arms out and presenting his masterpiece.

The other side of the roof had two tables pushed together with nine chairs surrounding them. It was quaint, but Jisung loved it. It had the perfect combination of homey and summery that he wanted in his video.

“Chan,” Jisung breathed. “It’s amazing.”

“He did some of this for the video,” Woojin beamed over at his soulmate, proud of the work he’d done. “He moved a table and 7 chairs up here for you, and he put up the fairy lights last night too.”

“You did that for me?” Jisung’s eyes began to tear up, and Chan rushed towards him.

“Don’t cry, it wasn’t too big a deal!” Chan said quickly, trying to comfort the smaller boy. “I already had the couches, rug, TV, and one table up here.”

Jisung sniffled and steeled himself. He already had so many ideas with what he wanted to do with the space, and he wanted to work quickly. 

“Okay, so!” Jisung clapped his hands and his friends gathered around him, waiting for instructions. “Let’s do the dance part first because it’s going to be the most difficult. I want Minho, Hyunjin, Felix and Chan in the front, and the rest of us will be in the back. Break!”

\-----------

“That take was perfect!” Jisung said from behind the video camera that he’d been watching their dance on. “Unless I missed something, which I don’t think I did.”

“Let me see!” Minho shouted, bounding over to Jisung and taking the video camera from him. Jisung rolled his eyes but let his hyung take the camera. He still wanted to watch the tape again, so when Minho had started the video from the beginning, he leaned over, and Minho moved the camera so they could both watch it. He didn’t realize how close the two were until he caught a whiff of Minho’s cologne. He recognized it from the blankets that Chan and Woojin had given him the day he passed out in the elevator. Smelling the cologne made him realize that Minho’s cheek was touching his as they watched the tiny screen of the video camera. He moved away a hair so they were no longer touching, and swallowed nervously- his heart gradually speeding up. When his cheek left Minho’s, he suddenly felt as if he’d lost something. 

Jisung hoped his cheeks weren’t as flushed as they felt, but he could always pass it off as if he were still winded from the dancing. Every time the boys hit a move perfectly, Minho would make a hum of approval that Jisung could practically feel. At this point, all he could pay attention to was how close he was to Minho, so when the elder turned his head, their faces only inches apart, he was surprised to say the least. He jumped back about 5 feet very abruptly.

“Woah, didn’t mean to scare you there, Sungie,” Minho chuckled and smiled his big beautiful smile, for which Jisung cursed him. “It was really good!”

“Yeah!” Jisung said. He had almost forgotten to watch the dance, but he assumed that Minho knew what he was doing, so it was probably fine. “Um, so we should film the next part! It’s really easy, all we have to do is chill on these couches and look like we’re having fun. Oh! Last, I also want a shot of two people to be looking over the city from the edge of the roof!”

Everyone jogged over to the couches and flopped down, eager to take a break after dancing for so many takes and so intensely. Jisung smirked; the sun was going down very quickly and he knew that by the time they got to filming the last part, it would be dark, and the city lights would be on. Essentially, it’d be very romantic. He had every intention of insisting that Changbin and Felix be the two that looked over the romantic city lights. He refrained from saying anything, but Hyunjin, who hadn’t followed the others to the couch, noticed his little smirk.

“Sungie…” He said, his tone warning Jisung to be careful, “What are you planning?” 

“Oh...nothing you have to worry about,” Jisung said honestly. Hyunjin was still suspicious though, because he sauntered over to Jisung, and tried to make himself shorter than the younger boy, which was a feat for Long Legs Hyunjin. He pouted, and when Jisung shook his head, Hyunjin pulled him into a hug, holding him hostage.

“I’m not letting go until you tell me what you’re planning,” Hyunjin said evilly. “You know I’m not lying, I did it last year when you were planning Jeongin’s birthday party and weren’t going to tell me until the day of. Speaking of, I’m still pissed you think I can’t keep a secret.”

Jisung waited a minute to see how serious Hyunjin was. Of course, Hyunjin didn’t budge, his long arms wrapping around Jisung’s shoulders. Jisung didn’t mind Hyunjin’s clinginess, in fact, he usually welcomed it, but currently, he needed to be free so he could film and direct his music video. He sighed dramatically.

“Fiiine, the last scene I’m filming is gonna be hella romantic with all the city lights and shit, and I’m going to make sure that the two acting in that part are Felix and Changbin so they get all flustered and adorable, AND we get it on camera,” Jisung explained in hushed tones. Jisung didn’t notice the smile fall from Hyunjin’s face a split second before he was released from the elder boy’s hold. Instead, all he saw was Hyunjin smiling a little reservedly after, and assumed that he was just satisfied with Jisung’s secret. 

“C’mon,” Jisung said, beckoning the tall boy as he brought the video camera and tripod over to Chan’s makeshift living area. 

“Just remember that the ONLY reason I let him come here is because the building is abandoned, which means he can claim squatter’s rights and it’s not illegal,” Woojin was explaining to the group as Jisung and Hyunjin rejoined. Everyone laughed, and Jisung set up the video camera quickly, hitting record stealthily. He’d decided a while ago that this part wouldn’t be directed, but that he’d just record them having genuine fun. He knew that if they knew they were being filmed, they’d just feel awkward.

“That, and because you love me. And because admit it, you love this place too.” Chan hit Woojin playfully, and Woojin rolled his eyes, a soft smile on his face. Jisung squeezed onto the last spot on the couch, in between Minho and Felix. He wished that any other seat was open, as there was not enough room for 9 people on two couches, which meant that he was suddenly squeezed up against his soulmate and his best friend. The best friend part he could handle, but the soulmate part? Not so much. The entire side of his body that was touching Minho felt completely right, as if touching him was what he was meant to do.

“Five-minute break, guys!” He announced. The boys cheered overly loud for a five minute break in an amatuer music video, but Jisung just smiled proudly. He mostly zoned out of the conversation, laughing when the others were laughing and just basking in the warmth that was his friends. He glanced from person to person and was overjoyed to see that everyone was being affectionate. This would be perfect for the music video! Seungmin and Jeongin were being their cute platonic selves, Jeongin subtly cuddling the older. Chan and Woojin were practically one being with how close they were. Jisung wondered how the two of them made their cuddling look appropriate, but all he could see was them being affectionate, so he didn’t mind. 

Jisung wrapped his arms around Felix’s back, and Felix just patted his arm. Felix and Changbin were facing each other and having a seperate but not private conversation, as Hyunjin was on the arm of the couch and participating as well. Jisung watched as Hyunjin leaned over too far and comically fell, sprawling accidentally over both Changbin and Felix’s laps. Everyone burst out laughing, and Jisung thanked his lucky stars that he’d got that moment on camera as well. Hyunjin didn’t get up from his position, and when Felix just chuckled and began running his fingers through the lanky boy’s hair, Changbin also relaxed, casually resting his hands on Hyunjin’s stomach. 

 

Jisung had been so wrapped up in observing everyone else and reacting to conversations appropriately that he hadn’t realized that Minho’s face was very close to his. This time it wasn’t by accident, though, because Minho suddenly took Jisung’s chin and made the younger face him. He began leaning in slowly, and Jisung was frozen in panic for a second before he pulled away quickly, laughing very nervously. Minho just laughed too, completely ignorant of the secret he’d almost just ruined for himself. Jisung glanced around him, and nobody had even noticed. Smiling, he stood up abruptly and walked out of frame of the video camera before he stopped smiling.

“Hey, surprise, I’ve been filming this whole time!” Jisung announced. He didn’t have time to deal with whatever the hell Minho had just tried to pull, so instead he distracted himself. He’d attempt to figure out just what that almost-kiss had meant later tonight. First, however, he needed to get the last scene with Changbin and Felix. 

“Okay! So I got the footage for the second scene, all very candid and lovely and no, we can’t redo it, even if you think you look stupid,” Jisung gave Hyunjin a Look™, and Hyunjin’s already open mouth closed reluctantly. “Next, I want to film the cityscape scene.” He looked out over the rooftop. The sun was mostly set already, and there was only a little bit of light remaining. He was glad Chan had thought about the fairy lights, otherwise the scene would have been way too dark. For this last scene, though, Jisung had a ring light, so they’d be able to see Felix and Changbin very well, but still capture the night sky. 

“So the two in this scene are Felix and Changbin,” Jisung announced triumphantly. A few eyebrows raised, but nobody protested. Jisung set them up on the edge of the roof, making sure he had the best angle. Felix looked nervous, so Jisung encouraged him. “Just forget we’re here, it’s just you and Changbin.”

Felix tried to forget the others were there, but he couldn’t. At first, Changbin and him talked for a while, attempting to make it look natural for Jisung’s video. That was until Changbin took Felix’s hand, causing him to look down and blush. Changbin smiled softly for a moment before gently tipping Felix’s chin up with his other hand. Felix’s breath caught when Changbin brushed a lock of hair out of the younger’s eyes. The rest of the boys around them forgotten, Felix leaned in without even realizing, and Changbin did the same. Their lips were centimeters apart until Felix jumped back. Jisung had gotten a little too close, it seems, as Felix had suddenly remembered about everyone else on the roof. His face turned impossibly red, and everyone held back their laughter to protect his feelings. 

“Hey, you know what?” Jisung said quickly, realizing that Felix was now very uncomfortable, “I think I got enough footage for this scene, so it’s time to go!” 

Everyone cheered again, and Jisung wondered why he’d become friends with such loud people, before he realized that he was usually the loudest of them all. Everyone gathered what they’d carried to the building, and they began slowly departing. Changbin whispered something into Chan’s ear, and Chan just smiled and nodded before saying something that Jisung overheard: “Just stay safe on the way home, I’m a phone call away.” Changbin nodded, and lightly grabbed Felix’s shirt before he could walk away. Jisung realized what was happening, so he playfully winked at Felix before leaving the roof with everyone else. 

That left Felix and Changbin alone on the roof. Felix swallowed nervously, but Changbin walked over to the edge of the roof again, letting Felix follow him. They stood in silence for a while, just taking in the sights. Felix felt his nerves calm down. 

“I’m sorry I almost kissed you in front of everyone.” Changbin grimaced, and Felix shook his head, smiling.

“It’s okay, hyung. I only jumped away because Jisung got so close,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But, I mean, having a first kiss with your soulmate is pretty special. It has to be...the right moment. Not when seven other boys are watching you, and one of them happens to be filming.” 

“And that’s why I shouldn’t have even tried, I’m sorry. I promise, when we really do kiss for the first time…” Changbin tried not to sound as awkward as he felt talking about their first kiss before it had even happened, “It’ll be special.” The night was fully dark now, and Felix stepped closer to Changbin who had been leaning on the ledge on the edge of the roof. The lights of the city were coming on one by one, and Felix smiled out at them. 

“Look! It’s the Lotte World tower!” Felix pointed, his eyes shining. Changbin glanced at the tower, but his attention was drawn back to Felix, who he thought was a much prettier view than the lights. 

“You know you’re adorable, right?” Changbin blurted out, then realized what he’d said and started stuttering out some sort of excuse, but he was cut off by the feeling of lips on his own. It took him a moment to get over the small shock that Felix had been the one to kiss him first before he melted into the kiss. From where their lips met, Changbin felt a warmth that soon spread throughout his body. He was overcome with that feeling, and moved closer to Felix, whose hands were resting on his chest. Changbin placed one of his hands on Felix’s cheek and the other on his waist. When the younger deepened the kiss, one hand instinctively slid up and tangled gently into the aussie’s hair, and the other went to the small of his back, pulling his body flesh against his, so there was no space between them. 

When they finally broke apart for air, Felix rested his forehead on Changbin’s. They were both a little out of breath, but then Felix smiled, and began to laugh. Changbin couldn’t help but to join in, and soon they were a laughing mess. They stumbled together, still laughing, over to the couch, and didn’t even notice it before they fell, Changbin landing on top of Felix. Changbin supported himself easily, suspending his body over Felix’s and smiled at the younger boy. When Felix smiled back, Changbin leaned down and gently pressed another kiss on his lips, this one less urgent. 

“You know why I laughed?” Felix whispered after they pulled apart once again. 

“Why?” Changbin whispered back, not moving an inch. He didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“Because I could feel what you felt for me in that moment, and I was just so happy that I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Changbin, our bond is complete! We’re true soulmates!” Felix ended his outburst practically shouting and laughing again. Well, so much for maintaining the intimate mood. Changbin sat upright and helped Felix sit up too. He hadn’t even realized that their bond was complete. He had just been too focused on the feeling of Felix’s lips against his, and his own emotions, that he didn’t have time to notice that indeed, he could feel Felix’s emotions in the back of his head. There was a separate feeling of happiness, different, but just as intense as his own. Changbin began to laugh just as Felix had. 

“Felix?” Changbin started tentatively, and continued when Felix nodded encouragingly, “I think I’m in love with you.”

“Me too,” Felix said, and leaned in to kiss Changbin again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99  
> UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY


	9. In Which The Party Goes Worse Than Expected

Jisung finally clicked the ‘save’ button on his project, letting out a small cheer almost under his breath. It had been a little less than a week since they filmed the video, and he had just finished editing the clips. He began to compress and export the video to a useable file and left his computer to process things while he headed to the living room. 

When he looked to the living room, he wasn’t surprised to see Changbin and Felix laying on the couch together. Felix was laying on Changbin’s chest and Changbin was browsing his phone, lazily running his fingers through his soulmate’s hair. 

Jisung sat down on the other side of the couch, also pulling out his phone. “Hey, where’s Jinnie?” He asked when he realized that Hyunjin wasn’t in the room.

Felix looked up and wrinkled his brow. “I think he went to the library...he’s been a little distant lately.” Jisung nodded in response. Hyunjin had been quieter than usual over this past week.

“We’re a little worried,” Changbin interjected surprisingly. Jisung knew that Hyunjin and Changbin got along well, but he wasn’t expecting Seo “Dark” Changbin to be worried about the boy, especially when Changbin himself was busy with his newly bonded soulmate, to whom he had been attached at the hip all week.

“Yeah,” Felix said, absentmindedly biting his lip, “I hope all his classes are going well, we should really talk to him.” Jisung agreed, and made a mental note to speak to Hyunjin soon. 

“Yes. But anyway, do you know what Seungmin and Jeongin are doing today?” Jisung asked, already having sent a text to the two asking them that exact question.

“No idea, but it’s Saturday, so probably nothing,” Felix mused. “Why, have any plans?”

“I just finished editing the video, so I figured everyone would want to see it. I was thinking about having everyone over to watch it tonight!” Jisung explained. He got a text from Seungmin saying that they were free and responded by telling them to get their asses over to the dorms since he was having a party. 

“Sounds good, but why don’t we do it at our place?” Changbin offered. “No offense, but your dorm doesn’t really have a good party set up.” He gestured vaguely to the crappy futon and the old box TV that had been the only thing the three roommates could scrounge up at the beginning of the year. 

“You’re right. As long as it's okay with the others,” Jisung sighed and nodded. 

“It will be, trust me. Minho can’t resist a party and Chan and Woojin love hosting. They’ll probably have a field day with it.” Changbin smiled at the thought of his friends frantically trying to put a party together last minute. “I’ll text them.” 

A few minutes later, Chan burst through the door of their dorm without even knocking, scaring the three friends. Jisung swore he jumped a full foot.

“A party???” Chan said, half excited and half stressed. 

“Uh, I mean I was thinking more of a little get together, less of a party,” Jisung said weakly, but was interrupted by Chan.

“You should have thought of this earlier, it’s already 4PM, Woojin and I will have to get everything ready, we don’t even have any alcohol,” Chan looked nervous. 

“Hyung, it’s no big deal, it’s just for the video. Just hanging out,” Jisung said, standing up and walking over to his hyung. He put both of his hands on the taller’s shoulders. “Everything’s fine. Also I didn’t think you’d be one to condone underage drinking,” Jisung smirked.

“I don’t, but you all are gonna be legal in literally 2 months, and I’m not letting Seungmin and ESPECIALLY not Jeongin drink. So I’ll let it slide this time. Also we need to celebrate your video being done!” Chan’s spiel made Jisung realize how embarrassed he was over the whole ordeal. 

“Chan hyung, please don’t make it too big of a deal, ok? I just want to get together with friends and watch the video. And I’m not gonna say no to some alcohol…” Jisung said, raising one eyebrow. “Oh! I have a friend from class I want to invite, too. His name is Jae! Is that okay?” 

“Sure, Sungie, invite whoever you want. Just let me know how many people are coming.” Chan smiled, and then looked distracted. “But I really do have to clean around the dorm and set up a little bit. I’ll make sure it’s not a big deal,” Chan reassured Jisung when he began to look a little concerned. 

“Okay, well everyone that’s in the video, so us nine, and then Jae...and I’ll ask Jae if he wants to bring his friend Brian he keeps telling me about. I think you four will get along,” Jisung offered, gesturing to Felix and Chan when he said that last part. “Jae is from America, and Brian studied in Canada so he’s really fluent in English.”

Chan looked pleasantly surprised, and Felix rose his eyebrows, trying to conceal his excitement. “Then I’ll go start getting ready!” Chan said and before Jisung could even react, he was out the door. The younger boy sighed, but a fond smile was on his face nonetheless. Chan could be a little over excited sometimes, but Jisung wouldn’t change him for the world. 

He opened a text to his classmate Jae inviting him and his friend Brian to their small get together. 

\---------------------------

The evening came slowly, but Jisung didn’t mind. He was busy enjoying having nothing to do, something he hadn’t been able to do in a long time. He’d had to work on this project or his other homework every day for hours a day since the first day of college. He didn’t think that college would be this hard.

When the time for his little gathering arrived, Jisung was a little nervous. Maybe it was just a stupid assignment that he didn’t even need to be worried about, but he had worked really hard on it. There was a little bit of time for him to get ready, so he could be fashionably late, so he took the time to put on some concealer and subtle eyeliner. He wore a silky black button down shirt that he unbuttoned further than was probably necessary. He knew he looked good; his hair was just a little curly and coiffed slightly in the front, and the eyeliner he’d put on gave him a sultry look that you’d only notice if you looked closely. 

When Jisung decided he looked presentable, he left his room and looked for Hyunjin and Felix, who weren’t in any of the main areas in the apartment. Jisung heard a few noises from Hyunjin’s room, so he pushed into the room without knocking. There he found Felix and surprisingly also Changbin attempting to help Hyunjin decide what to wear. This happened quite often, simply because Hyunjin always tried to be perfect. Jisung found this quite endearing to be honest, as Hyunjin felt as if his clothes changed how he looked. Hyunjin was drop dead gorgeous, even in the messiest sweats. 

“I don’t know, is the ascot hanky thing too much? Do I look too fancy?” Hyunjin whined, adjusting his clothing. 

“Hyunjin you’ll look drop dead gorgeous in anything you wear, who cares if you look too fancy?” Felix sighed.

“So that’s a yes, I look too fancy. So a no to the ascot hanky thing,” Hyunjin said with finality, and Changbin laughed when Felix’s face screwed up in confusion and he pouted, protesting, “I didn’t say that!”. 

Hyunjin finally noticed Jisung standing in the doorway. “Oh, is it time to go already?” He looked genuinely surprised. 

“I mean, yeah, I wanted to be fashionably late, so it’s technically like fifteen minutes past time to go,” Jisung sighed exasperatedly, but he didn’t mean it a bit. Hyunjin gave him a knowing look as he took off his ascot (hanky thing, as he’d so called it). A knock sounded at the door and Seungmin and Jeongin joined their group effortlessly. Jisung was glad for his friends. It only took them about a minute to get to the upperclassmen’s dorm, so their title of fashionably late was still intact. 

Jisung released a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. The scene in front of him was very understated. Chan hadn’t done much else than clear up the apartment and put out some chips, alcohol, and mixers. In classic college party fashion, some red solo cups were placed next to the mixers. There was some music playing in the background but it was very casual. This was exactly what he had pictured, and he smiled. Chan, who had been standing at the counter as if he was presenting the party to the arrivals. Minho and Woojin were chilling on the couch, red solo cups already in hand.

The boys immediately started to mingle, and before long, Jae and Brian had arrived. Jisung poured himself a rum and coke, one that he was sure would be the first of many. 

“Okay, it’s time to see our masterpiece!” Chan announced to the whole room just then. 

“Chan, shhh it’s not even that good!” Jisung hissed at his hyung, attempting to stop him from bragging.

“It’s not ‘that good’, it’s amazing,” Chan pushed Jisung away from him, and turned towards Jae and Brian. “You two are the neutral party so you can convince him how good it is!” 

Jae laughed, “Of course it’s good, this is the same project that he pulled an all nighter on the first day of classes to finish.” 

Jisung blushed, but connected his computer to Chan’s TV nonetheless. He brought the video up, and began to play it. When the first strains of the music began to filter through the room, Minho shushed anyone who was still talking.   
“Everyone, shut the hell up, I have to focus. I looked so hot this day, just wait,” Minho said with a boasting air. Everyone rolled their eyes except Jisung, but notably did not disagree. There wasn’t a single person who could deny how objectively beautiful Lee Minho was.

While the video played, instead of watching the screen, he watched the reactions of everyone in the room. Everyone seemed absolutely glued to the screen, which he took as a good thing. Most importantly, he watched Jae and Brian, who had not seen or heard any of the project before. 

Jae seemed very excited, and Brian seemed somewhat reserved, but he was smiling, which Jisung assumed meant that he liked it. 

The last scene of the video was Felix and Changbin standing shoulder to shoulder looking over the city skyline from the rooftop, lit by the fairy lights. The two boys faced each other and Changbin began to lean in. The last chord of the song played, and the screen went black. Jisung smiled. He really loved that last scene, he loved how happy they looked, he just wanted Felix to be happy. 

Jisung was lost in his thoughts when someone clapped him on the back. When he looked up, surprise in his eyes, he was met with the smiling eyes of Jae. 

“You are a natural! I’m so glad you chose this major, you’re literally made for it. I can’t believe you wrote that song!” He patted Jisung on the head and smiled. 

“Would you consider writing a song for our band?” Brian said from his position on the couch.

\--------------------------------

Jisung _really_ liked rum and coke. He was currently on the couch, sandwiched between Jae’s friend Brian and Seungmin. While he was pleasantly buzzed, and definitely not done drinking, Seungmin had the best idea Jisung had ever heard. 

“We should play truth or dare.” An evil glint shone in his eyes. “I know it’s probably, like, cliche, but I’ve actually never done it.” 

“You’ve _never_ played truth or dare?” Minho gasped, looking scandalized. Jisung noticed that his hyung’s cheeks were rosy, he was definitely buzzed too. “How are you even alive?” He reached over to Seungmin, looking with drunken intensity into his eyes, which caused the younger to squirm. “We have to teach you.”

And that was how they all ended up sitting in a circle in the living room. Minho had even convinced Chan and Woojin to play, which wasn’t actually that difficult, as they were just as tipsy as Minho was himself. 

“Okay, so the rules are that if you won’t do the dare or tell the truth, you have to chug your whole drink,” Woojin explained, since it didn’t look like anyone else was going to.

“I’ll go first!” Minho practically screeched. “Okay...Chan. Truth or dare?” 

“DARE!” Chan laughed, setting down his drink, “Do your worst.” He almost took back his words when Minho’s eyes turned dark and a mischievous smile crossed his face. 

“Make out with me for one whole minute,” Minho said, crossing his arms with a smug look, “Start drinking, scaredy cat.”

Chan glanced at Woojin, who shrugged. Chan turned back to Minho with his eyebrow raised. “You thought, bitch. I’m not getting any more drunk, I have to make sure nobody gets hurt. Here goes nothing.” 

Minho’s eyes widened as Chan crawled across the circle on all fours. Jeongin pulled out his phone as fast as he could, putting on a timer for one minute. Chan winked at Minho and when their lips met, Minho tried to jerk back, but Chan growled, grabbing the back of his neck. Woojin wrinkled his nose, but he had allowed this and he knew that Chan was loyal to him always, so all he did was show disgust.

Jisung had to avert his eyes. He knew that this was all fun and games, and that Chan had a soulmate already, but it still hurt to see him prowl across the room to make out with Minho. He pushed down the feeling of jealousy. He couldn’t be mad when he hadn’t even told anyone that they were soulmates. 

When Jeongin’s alarm sounded, the two broke apart immediately, and both of the boys broke apart as quickly as possible. Chan even went so far as to gag, taking a swig of his drink to wash out his mouth. Everyone laughed at their reactions, and once they’d settled back down, Chan took his turn.

“Hyunjin, truth or dare?” Chan asked, surprisingly not going after Minho. 

“Truth.” Hyunjin answered confidently. 

“Hmmm..okay, if you had to marry anyone in this room, who would it be?” Chan asked, keeping the questions easy for his dongsaeng. 

“Hmmm...probably Jeongin,” Hyunjin said with finality. 

“Jeongin? WHAT?” Jisung gasped, while Jeongin just looked as if he’d taken a bite out of a lemon, his face twisted in disgust. “I feel so betrayed, Jinnie, we’re clearly meant to be.” 

“Jisung, shut up, Jeongin is clearly the cutest person on this planet, and if I married him I could baby him for the rest of our lives.” Hyunjin leaned over to Jeongin to pinch his cheeks, but Jeongin dodged.

“Hyung, no offense but I’d never marry you,” Jeongin said, still actively avoiding Hyunjin’s affection. He finally gave up and let the older hug him for a few seconds, before Seungmin jealously pulled him out of Hyunjin’s arms. Hyunjin only took a second to pout before he brightened up again and chose his target. 

“Changbin. Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Changbin responded without hesitation. 

“Play chicken with Chan. Loser drinks.” 

Jisung decided to step out of the room for a minute to refill his drink. He almost stumbled stepping over Changbin, but caught himself on the wall, using it as support the entire way to the kitchen. He poured himself another rum and coke, this one stronger than the last. He was still trying to get over Chan and Minho’s little makeout session, so he shook his head and set a smile on his face. When Jisung got back to the living room, Chan was fawning over Jeongin, and Seungmin and Changbin were holding hands, looking away from each other semi angrily. Jisung decided not to ask. It was truth or dare, anyway. As he was settling back down, Jeongin locked onto him.

“Jisung-hyung, lick Woojin’s neck,” Jeongin said. “Or drink,” he cocked his head expectantly. Jisung winced, but it wasn’t the worst dare ever, and he wasn’t about to be labeled as a wimp, so he set his drink down and casually sat next to Woojin on his knees, and Woojin tilted his head up. Jisung took a deep breath and licked his hyung’s neck. He immediately jumped away, and Woojin wiped his neck off, and hugged Chan in comfort.

Jisung sat back down and chugged his whole drink regardless of the fact that he’d done the dare. He was beginning to think he’d actually gotten too drunk, as some of the drinks from half an hour ago were only just hitting him. He took a moment to focus before saying, “Hyunjin. Make out with Changbin for a minute.” 

“What?” Chan gasped, “They only just bonded!”

“Yeah, I know. The goal is to get Hyunjin drunk,” Jisung said, still focusing hard on his words. He realized that his dare really didn’t make that much sense, but he wasn’t about to take it back. 

Felix and Changbin looked at eachother, and Felix shrugged. “I mean, it’s just truth or dare,” He smiled, and Jisung relaxed. He could tell when Felix was lying, and this truly didn’t make the aussie uncomfortable. He must be very secure in his soulbond with Changbin.

Changbin and Hyunjin met in the center of the circle, and waited for someone to start a timer. 

“GO!” Seungmin yelled, and the two kissed. At first, they seemed a little uncomfortable, but gradually, their kiss deepened, enough that Jisung felt he was looking at something he really shouldn’t be. Jisung looked over at Felix, whose face was a mask of confusion. The australian boy frowned and looked away.

“STOP!” Seungmin yelled again, and the two parted, though not as quickly as Chan and Minho had. Changbin crawled back to Felix and kissed him reassuringly, though it was much more chaste.

“Okay. Minho,” Chan said to break the awkward atmosphere, his voice dripping with playful revenge. Nobody brought up the fact that it was technically not Chan’s turn. “Why don’t _you_ kiss Hyunjin for a minute. Since you’re both single. As far as I know?” Chan glanced over at Hyunjin who ducked his head and nodded shyly. 

“Fine. Not like it’s the first time.” Minho cocked his eyebrow and before Chan could retract his dare, he was already kissing Hyunjin, who was surprised, but softened. Jisung didn’t process anything after that. He stared at a spot on the wall as he fell into his thoughts. Hyunjin and Minho had kissed before? Were they...dating? 

It took Jisung several minutes to come back to reality, after which he stumbled to the kitchen and did two shots. The bitter liquid hit his throat and he gagged but swallowed anyway. Even though his vision wasn’t straight, he didn’t care. He wanted to completely forget what he had just heard. Losing his soulmate to his best friend was the perfect excuse to get way too drunk for comfort.

“Sungie?” Jisung jumped out of his skin when a soft voice sounded right next to him. He focused (with much effort) on the concerned face of Woojin. 

“Mmm?” He responded, unable to properly form words. Woojin waved his hand in front of Jisung’s face, who followed it intently, though had to close his eyes because he became dizzy. Woojin sighed. 

“It’s time for you to go to bed,” Woojin said and Jisung grumbled, crossing his arms. The elder decided not to listen to him, and grabbed the drunk boy’s arm. Jisung shook his head and tried to pull himself to the living room. Woojin might have been strong, but he wasn’t strong enough to bar a drunk and determined Jisung, who pulled them both into the living room.

When everyone finally noticed what was happening, they dropped whatever they had been talking about. The awkward silence was broken by Woojin, who said softly: “Jisung, I really think you need to get to sleep.” 

“‘M fine,” Jisung said, attempting to sit down in a vacant spot on the couch calmly. This didn’t exactly work out, as he lost his balance and fell over the couch arm, landing splayed over Chan and Minho’s laps. “This is what I meant to do.”

“Ookay, Sungie,” Minho said, beginning to shift. Jisung frowned as the nickname slipped from the elder’s mouth easily. It made his stomach flip, which was not good for his nausea. He shifted uncomfortably, and Minho sighed, “I agree with Woojin. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Whyyyyyy?” Jisung frowned, and clung to Minho’s waist when he tried to shove the drunk boy off of him. In his drunken state, he didn’t realize how clingy he was being.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, now get up,” Minho instructed, and Jisung obediently sat up. He attempted to stand, but the room wouldn’t stop spinning, so he had to have Minho help him up.

“Okay Minho why don’t you and I help Jisung get back to bed, it’s already 3 AM, I think it’s time we all crash anyway,” Woojin offered, wrapping Jisung’s arm around his neck and helping him stand. 

Minho did the same on Jisung’s other side, and they began to help him back to his dorm. The youngest didn’t put up a fight, but he grumbled, not wanting to leave just yet. 

“I’m like...not even tired, though,” he insisted, and Minho just rolled his eyes. Woojin opened the door to the freshmen’s dorm and hauled the boy into his room. When he was safely in his bed, Woojin asked Minho to stay with the drunk boy for a minute while he went to go grab something. A few minutes later, Woojin came back with two water bottles and a few slices of bread.

“Hey Sungie, will you do me a huge favor and eat this bread?” Woojin asked in his softest voice. 

“WOOOOJINNIEEE,” Jisung whined, “I don’t wanna.” Woojin rolled his eyes, ignoring the fact that Jisung had just dropped honorifics.

“Please? It’ll make you feel better in the morning,” Woojin waved the bread in front of the young rapper’s face, and Jisung gave in, taking the bread and reluctantly eating it. In between bites, Minho offered the water to him, and he gratefully gulped it down. 

Once both slices of bread were gone and one water bottle was finished, Woojin brought Jisung’s trash can close to the bed, and set the second water bottle on the nightstand next to a few aspirin that seemed to materialize from Woojin’s hand.

“Okay Sungie, Felix and Hyunjin will be back soon. Drink this water in the morning and take these aspirin, okay? Here’s a trash can in case you need to throw up. If you need us please call.” Minho patted Jisung’s head, giving him a fond look. Jisung simply moaned in response, which Woojin took as understanding. The two older boys exited the room, shutting off the light and closing the door. Once the door was closed, Minho sighed heavily. 

“I feel sorry for his soulmate,” he mused, probably louder than was necessary, and the eldest shushed him. 

Jisung’s eyes snapped open. 

_“I feel sorry for his soulmate.”_

_“His poor soulmate. How could anyone bond with that?”_

The words Minho said echoed and twisted in his brain, soon he couldn’t stop himself. Jisung’s vision was masked with black and his chest felt impossibly tight. Voices started speaking in his head. Familiar words and panic brought him to the edge, the dread growing worse and worse.

_“Stupid faggot, nobody will ever love you.”_

Just a flashback.

_“How dare you live when your mother died?”_

That wasn’t his fault.

_“I bet even your soulmate will reject you.”_

He just did.

_“You are worthless.”_

Jisung was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Step out of them VOIIIIICES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Sorry I'm literally the worst but this is just the beginning....  
> Next week's chapter maaaay be late, I'm not sure yet. I hope not! Especially with that ending, oof.
> 
> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little fluff bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99


	10. In Which Best Friends Struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (February 14th, 2019)
> 
> (EDIT: I deleted this as a chapter because I didn't want to get false reads haha)
> 
> Hey guys! I'm so glad you keep up with my fic, and I'm really excited for where it's going. Unfortunately, it's reading week at my university which means I have an utter shitton of homework to do in the next few days and I can't write. I will be gone for TWO WEEKS most likely but I PROMISE I will be back by the second of March, IF NOT EARLIER. I don't want to let you guys down but I really need to take a break and focus on my schoolwork for once. So no update this Saturday, I'M SO SORRY, I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jisung woke up with a throbbing headache. He groaned, immediately wishing he hadn’t woken up. All he could feel was the pain in his head and the nausea that he couldn’t shake. When he finally opened his eyes, he squinted as the light from his window caused a shooting pain right to his head. His hand somehow found the water bottle on his nightstand and he managed to sit up and take a sip of the water. He took the two aspirin, but even swallowing the pills had hurt his head. 

He sighed, starting to shuffle through his hazy memories of last night. He distinctly remembered Minho and Hyunjin kissing. Jisung ignored the pang of hurt in his heart and went to the next memory. Hyunjin and Changbin kissing? Then...he was taken back to bed. That was it, right? There were two people who helped him...Woojin and...Minho. 

Then it hit him- The words that had echoed through his head last night started to echo again. He hit himself, but he couldn’t stop them from etching themselves into his brain. 

“I feel sorry for his soulmate.”

A tickle started to build up in Jisung’s throat and he tried to fight it, but eventually a violent cough ripped from his lungs, causing him to double over in pain, covering his mouth with his hand. It took him a moment to recover, and when he took his hand away from his lips, a delicate yellow petal laid there, covered in tiny flecks of blood.

\---------------

**_Hanahaki disease_ ** _is a rare deadly disease caused by the rejection of one’s soulmate. The disease is caused psychosomatically. The symptoms of Hanahaki include the coughing up of petals, which leads to a loss of appetite, and slowly degrades into a fever and sickness similar to the flu and pneumonia, before the organs begin to fail and the patient ultimately dies._

_Ninety five percent of people who contract the disease do not survive. Treatments include soulmate therapy, which may partially mend a broken or twisted soul bond. The life of the patient can be prolonged by frequent contact with their soulmate. No known cases have resulted in successful and complete soul bond reparation._

\------------

Jisung tore his eyes away from the screen of his phone, which was displaying the wikipedia page for Hanahaki. A tear slid from his eye. So he was going to die. What a complete, utter shitshow. He’d made it this far just to lose to a stupid disease. He’d made it through the abuse and subsequent depression and everything that went along with that, and he was going to be beaten down by a stupid flower in his lungs. 

The tears kept coming, and Jisung couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t accept this. Right at that moment, a knock came at the door. 

“Just a minute,” he croaked. Years of practice with hiding his emotions from his father had him completely pulled together in only a minute. He opened the door, and there was Hyunjin. Jisung was usually good at acting as if he was okay, but it took all of his strength not to snap at Hyunjin right there. 

“Yeah?” He asked, his voice sounding very strained. Hyunjin was taken aback for a moment before he shook his head.

“Are you alive? You had a hell of a night last night, didn’t you?” Hyunjin chuckled, attempting to shake off the awkward atmosphere. Jisung clenched his jaw, remembering Minho’s remark that last night had not been the first time that the two had kissed. 

“Yeah, I’m doing just fine. I think I need to chill out today though, I’m still feeling sick from yesterday.” Jisung couldn’t hide how rough his voice sounded, but he gave a quick smile and closed the door gently. He didn’t have the energy to confront Hyunjin right now. Not when he didn’t even really know what he’d done, or how much it had affected Jisung. 

\----

Hyunjin blinked in surprise at the door that was closed in front of him. Jisung had seemed very off, but he couldn’t place exactly why. His strained voice had sounded almost angry. Hyunjin shook his head, and decided it was just a bad hangover. 

“Hey Felix?” he called, plodding into the kitchen where the shorter boy was making himself a healthy breakfast of a bagel. 

“Mmm?” Felix hummed, too lazy to open his mouth and form a decent reply. Hyunjin pouted, and draped his arms over Lix’s shoulders, heavily resting his head on one of his surprisingly broad shoulders.

“Can we make Sungie some hangover soup? I think he’s had a bad morning,” Hyunjin tilted his head up to try to meet Felix’s eyes despite the angle, giving him a pleading look. Felix sighed in response, and nodded. 

“I mean, no guarantees that it’s going to be good, you know how hopeless we are at cooking, but we can try,” Felix responded. “Let me eat my bagel first.” 

Hyunjin sat on the counter waiting for Felix to be done with his bagel. He watched Felix as he ate his bagel and started a pot of water to boil. He had to pull up a recipe on his phone, which Hyunjin found adorable. Once Felix was done with his bagel, he began to gather all the ingredients for the soup. Hyunjin hopped off the counter and leaned over Felix’s shoulder yet again, this time reading the ingredients. 

“This might clear us out. Thank god Changbin reminded us to get real food stuff, otherwise we’d be living on ramen.” Hyunjin chuckles. 

Felix smiled at the mention of Changbin’s name, which made Hyunjin’s heart skip a beat. He smiled too, but then his smile dropped. He shouldn’t feel things like that for his best friend, let alone when that best friend is already bonded with a soulmate. Felix took out his phone and sent a good morning text to Changbin as Hyunjin watched. 

Just then, Hyunjin felt the faintest burst of happiness. It took him by surprise, so much so that he stood straight up, confused. Hyunjin shook his head. He wished he could talk to Jisung about whatever the heck was happening, but he’d been so adamant that he needed rest today.

Hyunjin had always had a lot of emotions. He’d been called crybaby back in middle school because he cried so easily, and at the stupidest things. Jeongin and Seungmin, although they also teased him about it, had been the first ones to stand up for him. Even now, he cried very easily, and couldn’t distinguish his emotions very well. It was always best to talk to someone about it, and they would help him distinguish what he was feeling and how to deal with it, but this?

He couldn’t talk to Felix or Changbin in case they thought he was trying to break up their relationship. He didn’t want to talk to Chan or any of the other hyungs for that matter. They would just pity him. And Seungmin and Jeongin? They wouldn’t understand how serious he was, especially over the phone. He knew they’d tease him because they didn’t understand that he was actually struggling. The only person he could talk to was Jisung, but he was out of it right now.

“Okay, the soup is ready!” Felix called, and Hyunjin smiled reservedly. 

“I’m going to go watch Black Panther again, why don’t you take the soup to him? Thank you for making it.” Hyunjin left the room, leaving Felix confused. 

\----

Felix spooned the soup into a big bowl and brought it to Jisung’s door. He knocked gently, and a groan came from inside. 

“Hyunjin, go away please, I just want to sleep.” Jisung’s voice sounded horrible, as if he’d been crying.

“Sungie, it’s me, Felix. I made you some hangover soup,” He said softly, and waited a few moments before the door slowly creaked open. Jisung took the bowl and smiled gratefully. 

“Thank you. I really am feeling bad, so I am going to stay in my room. Please understand.” Jisung gave Felix a pleading look, made even worse by the redness of his eyes. 

“I understand, Sungie. If you need anything else don’t hesitate to text me or Hyunjin, okay?” Felix said, a concerned look etched on his face.

“I’ll text you if I need anything.” Jisung then closed the door, and Felix frowned once again. 

“Or Hyunjin…” He said halfheartedly to the door. Felix wandered back into the living room, and sat down next to Hyunjin, who was already enthralled in the first 10 minutes of Black Panther. 

“Hey, Hyunjin?” Felix said softly. He figured he should probably tell him that Jisung seemed to be mad at him.

“Yeah?” Hyunjin said, giving him a quick glance before looking back at the television. 

“No, look at me, I think this is important,” Felix said, turning to face the taller boy, who did the same. Felix didn’t notice the flash of fear in Hyunjin’s eyes before he started.

“I think Jisung is mad at you,” Felix said carefully, and Hyunjin just barely relaxed. “I’m not sure why, but when I knocked on his door just now, he said ‘Hyunjin go away’, but when I told him it was me, he opened the door.”

Hyunjin’s face fell. So Jisung was mad at him, and it wasn’t just his imagination. He nodded at Felix, but couldn’t think of anything to say. 

“Maybe it was because of something that happened last night?” Felix offered. 

“I can’t think of anything, I didn’t even really talk to him that much. He seemed to be kind of off in his own little world last night,” Hyunjin frowned. He blinked quickly as the tears began to build up, but he refused to let them fall. For all he knew, this could be easily fixed. “Maybe that’s why? Maybe he needed someone to talk to him last night but they weren’t there?”

“That makes sense,” Felix mused. When Hyunjin stood up quickly, making a move to Jisung’s room, Felix grabbed his arm. “He really does need to be alone right now. Maybe you can talk to him tomorrow.” 

“I need things to be okay between us…” Hyunjin said, but sat back down reservedly. “You’re right. I need to give him time.”

The two boys fell back onto the couch, closer than necessary, as Felix’s cuddled into Hyunjin’s side. He tried to pay attention to the movie, but couldn’t focus with Felix pressed against his side. It made his stomach feel warm and his ears go pink. He scooched away from Felix, who gave him a sad look, but didn’t complain.

When he still couldn’t focus, even on his favorite movie, he groaned and stood up suddenly. Felix looked up at him, surprised. 

“I’m going on a walk,” Hyunjin stated flatly. He grabbed a thin jacket and headed out. He didn’t know where he was going, but when he got outside and the fresh autumn air hit him, he knew exactly where he was headed, his feet carried him directly towards the dance studio and as if his strides weren’t long enough, he began to run.

\----------

Jisung finally decided to leave his room at one, when his internet searching had exhausted all the information about Hanahaki that he could find. The campus library was open until four today, so he slipped out of the apartment as quietly as he could, hoping nobody would notice. When the doors to the elevator slid shut, Jisung saw a reflection of his face. He immediately scowled and looked away. He didn’t want to see how red his eyes were, nor the dark bags underneath him. He could always blame it on the hangover, but who knows how fast the Hanahaki would work?

His walk to the library was quiet, nobody was out on campus on a Sunday. Nonetheless, he pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and kept his eyes on the sidewalk. Every once in a while he’d feel an urge to cough but forced it down each time. 

When he finally arrived at the library, almost nobody was there. He forwent talking to the librarian, instead opting to look up the location of books on Hanahaki on an available computer. 

He found the books in a back corner, and almost comically, there was a thin layer of dust on them. He ignored this and opened the first one, beginning to search for information on reversing the disease.

-

It had been two hours, and he had not found a single page on how to reverse the disease. There were suggestions to ease the pain of dying, ways to slow the process so that you could say goodbye to your loved ones, hell, there was even a section on how to tell your soulmate that you were dying. Jisung finally gave in and closed the book. He rested his head on the desk he was sitting at and tried not to sob. 

There was no way this was happening to him. 

Just at that moment, he was overtaken with the urge to cough, and he knew this time he wasn’t going to be able to suppress it. He stood, looking quickly for a bathroom which was luckily just a few feet away. He held the cough in until he reached the stall, and leaned against the door, finally letting the cough loose. It was rough and hoarse, and this time he coughed up three delicate yellow petals, still flecked in blood. Jisung threw them in the toilet and glowered at the offending petals floating in the water. Once he was sure he was done coughing, he flushed the toilet and went to wash the tiny specks of blood off of his hand. The fluorescent lights in the bathroom mirror did not make him look any better, so he avoided staring at himself. 

Walking back to the desk he had been at previously, he decided he’d read enough for today and gathered the books up, placing them back on the shelves. He’d failed to find what he was looking for, but he wasn’t going to give up just yet. 

\--------------

Hyunjin’s hair was matted to his forehead, and he panted, having just finished a particularly difficult dance to EXO’s “Wolf”. He stared at the mirror before finally letting himself rest, as he fell to the ground. He had been dancing for several hours now. Normally he could go on for much longer, but he hadn’t worn dance clothes, and he didn’t think he could stand the restrictiveness of his jeans anymore. 

Though he was relieved that he could stop dancing, it finally let his mind go to the very situation he was trying to avoid thinking about. 

Felix and Changbin. 

He had definitely felt something last night when he’d kissed Changbin. He couldn’t deny that. However, that was the part that made him feel so awful. He had a crush on his best friend’s soulmate? What kind of an asshole develops a crush on someone who was already bonded with their best friend?

Apparently Hyunjin. 

He would have to try to shake it off, he supposed. For approximately the millionth time, he wished he could ask Jisung for advice, or at least tell him what was going on and have a second opinion. 

Which brought him to his second train of thought that he’d rather avoid. Why was Jisung mad at him? He’d speculated with Felix about not having someone to be there for him when he needed it last night, but it didn’t make sense. If Jisung needed somebody, he’d never had reservations about coming and asking for support. 

Hyunjin tore his eyes off of the particularly interesting ceiling tile he’d been staring at and rolled onto his stomach. He pressed his hot cheeks to the cold floor and sighed. 

When the door opened, he was standing in a flash. He attempted to look normal, but was taken by surprise when the person walking through the door was his friend Wooyoung from his Design and Screen Cultures class.

“Wooyoung!” He said, and offered a warm, albeit half hearted, smile. 

“Hyunjin! I didn’t know you danced!” Wooyoung said, his smile absolutely blinding the taller boy.

“I mean, just in my free time as of right now,” Hyunjin said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “Though I might be starting up a dance minor next semester.” 

“That’s awesome! I’m a dance minor, we’d have the same major and minor!” Wooyoung said, unable to suppress a smile. “But why are you dancing in jeans?” 

“Oh, I didn’t know I was going to be dancing when I left my dorm…” Hyunjin answered awkwardly, “I was kind of in a hurry.”

“Roommate troubles?” Wooyoung asked, and Hyunjin tilted his head. 

“I guess you could say that, but it’s more complicated than that,” Hyunjin expanded, but didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t about to spill his secrets to an acquaintance.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me, we barely know each other,” Wooyoung said, patting Hyunjin on the shoulder, “But, I suggest talking. I have seven roommates who are also good friends and it can get pretty tough.”

Hyunjin smiled at this and nodded. He supposed he could try to talk to Jisung, but today was not an option. When he looked at his phone for the first time in several hours, it was already seven at night, and he had several texts from Felix and one call five minutes ago. 

“Shoot, I should get home. I’ve been out for like five hours and I didn’t tell anyone where I’d be,” Hyunjin said reluctantly. “Thanks for the advice Wooyoung! I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” 

Wooyoung just waved him goodbye as Hyunjin grabbed his jacket and began to walk back to the dorm. The walk back was colder than the way there, and Hyunjin’s sweat made it even colder. By the time he got back to the dorms, he was shivering. 

He unlocked the door and was met almost immediately by Felix, who ran to hug him. Hyunjin was caught by surprise, and it took him a moment to hug him back.

“Don’t ever go off so suddenly like that and then not answer your phone for HOURS,” Felix said, pulling away from Hyunjin and crossing his arms as if he were throwing a fit. “You don’t know how worried I was.” 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Hyunjin sighed, “If that ever happens again, I promise I’ll text you.” 

“You’d better,” Felix pouted, but then seemed to forgive Hyunjin as he noticed that he was still shivering. “Wait, you’re freezing! It’s chilly out there and your jacket is so thin!”

Hyunjin couldn’t disagree with him, as he was indeed still shivering. He put his hands in his pockets but Felix pulled him to the living room, unceremoniously plopping him on the couch, then leaving the room almost immediately. Hyunjin barely had time to be bewhildered before Felix came back with his own comforter and laid it over the tall boy. 

“Thanks…” Hyunjin muttered, embarrassed. 

“We don’t have hot cocoa...Maybe Changbin does?” Felix mused, and before Hyunjin could refuse, Felix was already in the other room on the phone with Changbin. 

“Hey Binnie, do you guys happen to have any hot cocoa?” He heard the aussie ask over the phone. “And if you do can I have some. Like right now.” 

Hyunjin sighed. Felix was making this such a big deal when it really wasn’t. He was just cold. He heard the front door creak open just a few minutes later, and the sounds of hot cocoa being made, along with some whispers. Hyunjin didn’t try to listen to what they were saying, but it made his heart sink lower nonetheless. He knew they were having their own soulmate moment, and he shouldn’t intrude.

“Heeere you go princess,” Changbin said, walking into the room with two mugs of hot cocoa. Felix followed behind with one of his own. 

“I didn’t technically ask for this treatment,” Hyunjin said reservedly, but took the cocoa anyway. 

“Well, you know Felix,” Changbin chuckled. “Also, next time you go dance when it’s cold out, let the sweat dry before you go outside, it could be dangerous otherwise,” he warned.

“How’d you know he was dancing?” Felix asked, wide eyed. “Even I didn’t know that.”

“Minho said he saw him at the studio earlier today, dancing his heart out,” Changbin explained, and Felix nodded, glancing over at Hyunjin. 

“Yeah,” Hyunjin breathed, taking a sip of his hot cocoa and avoiding eye contact. “Woah, this is amazing! What brand is this?” He gasped, taking another sip.

“Regular Swiss Miss, but I put some vanilla in it. Also it’s made with milk because milk is superior to water,” Changbin boasted, which made Hyunjin chuckle.

“Apparently you have very high hot cocoa standards,” Felix said, and Hyunjin nodded enthusiastically, taking a bigger swig this time.

“This is the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. Will you make this all the time?” Hyunjin said, his eyes glistening as he looked at Changbin. He’d decided to let himself enjoy Changbin’s presence for now, and deal with whatever was going on tomorrow. 

“Ugh stop with the puppy dog eyes, I was gonna make you the cocoa anyway,” Changbin said grimacing at Hyunjin’s display, who then laughed at his grimace.

-

Just at that moment, Jisung walked into the apartment. He peeked into the living room and saw Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin having the time of their life. He softened a little bit, as his friend’s smile always made his day, but then he remembered last night, what Hyunjin had done, and his face fell back into a scowl. 

Hyunjin looked up to see Jisung standing in the doorway, and his smile dropped. They locked eyes for a second, but Jisung turned and entered his own room, closing the door a little harder than was probably necessary. He leaned against the back of the door and placed his head in his hands. He was being too hard on Hyunjin, but he just couldn’t face him right now. Maybe he would talk with him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof I'm lucky I got this boi out, I reaaaally need to work more on this...  
> Also I finally hit over 100 pages on google docs!
> 
> Follow me on insta pls @stanstraykids99, I sometimes post updates about the fic there, and you can also DM me!


	11. In Which Helping Someone Hurts Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting, and as promised, I'm back! I'll continue updating every Saturday from now until it's finished! 
> 
> Also apologies, my beta is very busy as she just got to Korea for her year abroad and didn't have time to edit this chapter. I edited it myself, but I'm not good at editing my own work, so if it's not as good as usual, that would be why.

Jisung awoke to his alarm at nine, already hating the day. He’d had several coughing fits throughout the night, and as if he needed something else to keep him up, he still had the nightmares. Thanks to all that, he’d gotten around one hour of sleep, and he felt the fatigue in his bones already setting in. However, he managed to haul himself out of bed. Today was the day to present his project. 

He attempted to look somewhat presentable for the presentation by putting on an oversized sweater and his nicest black jeans, which doubled as a comfy outfit for how horrible he was feeling. He also put on some concealer under his eyes since he looked as if he hadn’t slept in weeks, rather than just a few nights. 

Before Jisung left his room, he double checked that his project was saved on both a usb stick and his laptop, carefully placing both in his bag, just in case. He grabbed a granola bar on the way past the kitchen and by 9:45, he was out the door. 

Thankfully, everyone else in the dorm was already gone by that time. He didn’t have to face them. He knew he’d have to lie about the Hanahaki eventually, and he couldn’t avoid his friends forever, but he wasn’t ready to lie to them.

When he got to class, he was five minutes early (due to the fact that he’d walked very fast to avoid seeing anyone, specifically Hyunjin). He sat down in his usual seat next to Jae, who struck up a conversation with him immediately.

“Hey Ji, how’s it going? You look like you’re still hungover from Saturday!” Jae looked at the younger boy incredulously, pointing out the bags under his eyes that just wouldn’t go away, even with concealer.

Jisung halfheartedly smiled. “You could say that. I was pretty drunk that day, huh.” So the lying began. 

“Yeah, I heard that after Brian and I left, you kinda went off…” Jae was clearly joking, but Jisung just gave a weak laugh.

“I didn’t know my limits. At least I didn’t throw up. I’ll know when to stop drinking next time.” _If there is a next time._ Jisung pushed the thought out of his head, sighing. He put his head down on the desk and realized how cool it felt on his face. He folded his arms around his head and closed his eyes. 

“...Hey, it’s not freshman year if you don’t have at least one bad night due to drinking.” Jae attempted to lighten the mood, but Jisung didn’t react one bit. Jae wrinkled his nose when he couldn’t get the younger to liven up, deciding to let him be for the time being. That didn’t mean that he was going to let it go forever. 

Jisung didn’t even lift his head when the professor walked in and began the class. He didn’t even lift his head to watch the first few presentations of the films. Listening was enough, and he didn’t have the strength to hold his head up. 

“Next! Han Jisung!” The professor called out, and Jisung stood, taking his laptop to the front of the room. He plugged it into the projector and took a deep breath, starting his presentation after a nod from the professor. 

“The song I wrote is called “Wonderful Coincidence”. It’s about the feeling I get when I’m with my closest friends. The music video concept is based on the colors that these emotions bring to mind. For example, when I’m sad, my memories would be tinted blue. When I’m happy, yellows and pinks. See if you can pick up what emotions I’m trying to convey in the video.”

He pressed play on the video and immediately relaxed. Now that the speaking part was over, the tension he’d been feeling for days-that nervousness of the project not being finished yet-was all released. 

Once the video was over, his professor beckoned him over to his desk.

“Great song, Jisung! You have a little bit of work to do on blending tracks, but that’s on a professional level. For an intro level class, that was fantastic.” The professor smiled at him, and Jisung smiled back.

“Thank you!” He said, and even he was surprised by the sincerity in his voice. 

Just then, the professor clapped him on the back, and Jisung’s eyes widened. He couldn’t stop the cough that came after that, but he managed to keep his mouth closed. Two petals now sat in his mouth, and Jisung fought the urge to gag. Every instinct in his body was screaming to spit the petals out, but he couldn’t, not in front of the whole class.

“This student has some real potential! Use Jisung’s project as your ‘A’ Grade example!” The professor leaned over to say something to Jisung in a low voice. “May I use your project as an example next year?” 

Jisung simply nodded, and forced a closed-mouth smile. On his way back to his seat with his laptop, he grabbed a tissue from the front of the room. As he slid back into his seat, he put his head down again immediately, this time, using it as a guise to spit the petals into the tissue stealthily. 

“Hey, you did so good!” Jae tapped the younger boy’s head. Jisung slipped the tissue into the side pocket of his bag before sitting up straight (with some effort) and nodding. Jae looked at his forehead and frowned. “Uh, are you okay? You’re sweating.” 

“Am I?” Jisung attempted to keep his voice level. He brought his hand to his forehead, surprised to find that Jae was right. 

“Yeah, a lot…” Jae placed his hand on Jisung’s forehead. “You definitely have a fever! You should get back to your dorm. Like right now.”

“Yeah, you’re right…” After putting his laptop back in his bag, Jisung stood, but lost his balance and sat back down. “Oops.”

“I’d take you home, but I still have to present my project...who should I call to take you home?” Jae pulled his phone out, but Jisung stopped him.

“Uh, I’d actually rather if you didn’t call anyone. I don’t want to burden them. I can get home alone. Plus I think everyone has a class right now.” Jisung pushed Jae’s phone away, but Jae shook his head.

“I know for a fact that Brian is free right now. Oh, AND he’s in the building. I’m texting him to come get you and you can’t stop me.” Jae started typing on his phone, and Jisung reached out to try and stop him. When he got close, Jae stood up and held his phone over his head. He craned his neck to finish the text, while Jisung attempted to jump and reach the phone. A futile mission, considering how tall Jae was. 

“There!” Jae said triumphantly, hitting send. 

“If you two in the back are quite done, I’ll let the next presenter begin.” The professor pointedly glared at the two, and Jisung grabbed his bag. 

“I’m sorry professor, but I have a fever, so I’m going to go back home and rest.” He gave Jae an exasperated look and escaped the classroom.

The closest bathroom was just a few feet from the door of his lecture. Jisung rushed into said bathroom, and glanced around before reaching into his bag to find the tissue that held the two petals, but was interrupted by Brian opening the door. 

“Jisung-ah, Jae said you’re sick and need to go back to the dorm! Here let me carry your bag.” Brian held his hand out, and Jisung looked at it for a moment before reluctantly putting his bag in the older’s grip. He would’ve carried it himself, but he still felt weak from not sleeping, and now apparently a stupid fever. 

On the walk home, Brian (whose real name, Jisung had just found out, was Kang Younghyun) wasn’t overly protective, but he kept glancing at Jisung to make sure he wouldn’t fall over. 

“This is your dorm, right?” Brian asked when they arrived.

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” Jisung had been completely blanked out, staring at his feet as he forced his body forward with each step. When they were near the door to the apartment, he finally looked up at Brian to see him start to reach into the side pocket of his bag where the tissue that held his secret was tucked.

“Wait!” Jisung suddenly shouted. Brian looked startled and pulled his hand back. “Let me get my keys out.” Jisung took his bag, taking his keys out of the pocket without disturbing the tissue.

When he had his keys, Brian took the younger’s bag back, looking confusedly at Jisung, who just shook his head and unlocked the door. The elevator ride was awkward, even though the walk home hadn’t been. Jisung felt awful for practically yelling at Brian, so before they got to his room, he decided to apologize. Besides, he may as well get some practice for his lies while he still could.

“Hyung, I’m sorry for snapping at you a little bit, I was really stressed about presenting the project today, and now this dumb fever,” Jisung gulped, but Brian just smiled at him, and he relaxed. They were in front of his door by now.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know what it’s like to be stressed, don’t even worry about it.” Brian patted Jisung on the head, and he suddenly felt very small, realizing how young he was compared to his hyung. He turned to the door abruptly and unlocked it.

He opened the door a crack. When he looked in, there was nobody there, and he couldn’t hear anything. He released the breath he’d been holding and finally entered the apartment. Brian wordlessly followed him.

“Thanks for walking me home. And tell Jae thanks for calling you.” Jisung waved the older boy closer to the door. “You can go, now, I promise I’ll be fine.” 

Just then, the door opened. Jisung flinched, and was met face to face with none other than Hwang Hyunjin. They locked eyes.

“Hyunjin-ssi!” Brian greeted him, and Hyunjin’s eyes were torn away from Jisung’s.

“Brian! What are you doing here?” Hyunjin asked, taking his shoes off and dumping his bag by the door. 

“Oh, Jae asked me to bring this one home, since he--”

“Wanted to see how different our dorm is from Chan’s.” Jisung interrupted. Brian looked surprised, but nodded slowly. 

“Anyway, I’ve seen it now, so I’m gonna go…” Brian said, rubbing the back of his neck. Hyunjin nodded and smiled.

“Come by anytime!” He called as Brian practically ran out of the room, most likely confused by the tense atmosphere.

Jisung grabbed a washcloth from the kitchen and walked hotly into the bathroom, not even glancing at Hyunjin. He turned the sink on and wet the washcloth with cold water. He didn’t need to be taken care of, he could take care of himself. 

There was a soft knock at the door. 

“Jisung?” Hyunjin’s voice called softly. “Sungie?” He tried again when there was no answer. Jisung looked at himself in the mirror. His face was still molded into the angry expression he’d worn into the bathroom, but it fell when he heard Hyunjin slide down the bathroom door, sitting on the ground.

“I know you can hear me.” Hyunjin said weakly. There was a moment of silence before Hyunjin started again. 

“I don’t know what I did, but please, please tell me. I can’t stand not talking to you. We’ve never--” Jisung flinched as Hyunjin’s voice broke. He heard shaky breath from the other side of the door. “We’ve never fought before, so I don’t know how to.”

Jisung looked away from the mirror and turned the water off, suddenly feeling very guilty. He tiptoed across the room and sat down quietly, leaning his back against the door.

“I don’t know how to not be your friend, Han Jisung.” Hyunjin suddenly sounded more confident. “So...tell me so I can fix it. I really need you back.” 

Jisung suddenly stood up. He turned the knob slowly and let Hyunjin move before he opened the door fully. Hyunjin stood there, his eyes pleading for Jisung to forgive him, when he didn’t even know what he’d done. 

“I’m so sorry Hyunjin.” The shorter boy’s voice broke, but that was overshadowed when his vision began to blur and he almost lost his balance. He caught himself on the door frame, just barely managing not to fall. 

“Jisung? Are you okay?” Hyunjin sounded panicked. He wrapped the shorter boy’s arm around his shoulder. “I’m bringing you to bed.” 

“I just have a fever…my washcloth…” Jisung gestured vaguely to the bathroom, and Hyunjin nodded. He helped Jisung to his room, gently laying him down in bed before going to retrieve the washcloth. He lay it on Jisung’s forehead, and the boy smiled feverishly, his eyes half closed. 

“Thank you...even though I’ve been ignoring you...you still help me,” He mumbled. 

“Who do you think I am?” Hyunjin grumbled as he threw a blanket over the sick boy. “You’re still my friend no matter whether you’re mad at me or not, and I’m not gonna just leave my friend to be sick alone. I can’t believe you thought I’d ever do that.” 

Running on one hour of sleep, the comfort of his bed pulled Jisung into unconsciousness faster than he would have liked. He was still half awake, though he could no longer move, when he felt Hyunjin fold his hands over his stomach.

“You should tell us when you’re sick, idiot.” Hyunjin mused. Jisung let out a grunt in response, which could have meant anything, but he couldn’t formulate words anymore. The last thing he felt before falling asleep was Hyunjin taking the washcloth and dabbing the sweat from his forehead.

\----------

Jisung awoke to a coughing fit, hauling himself into a sitting position even though his body screamed at him to stay as still as possible. After a few minutes of what felt like his chest rejecting his lungs from the inside, the fit subsided. He was left with what he assumed a murder scene would look like if the victim were a flower. The petals were scattered everywhere, even though he’d attempted to keep them balled in his fist. Jisung looked at his phone to see that it was 7:30 AM. He also noticed a bottle of water set beside his bed. 

Sighing, he began to begrudgingly clean the petals off his bed, dumping them in the small trash can that was left for him, presumably by Hyunjin. Just as he sat back in his bed, Hyunjin came in, just missing the spectacle that was Jisung’s flower coughing fit.

“You’re awake! It’s so early, you should go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said, rushing towards Jisung and pulling his blanket back over him. Jisung was touched when his friend placed his hand on his forehead, checking to see if his fever was gone. “Okay, you’re not hot anymore but you should still rest.”

“I won’t argue with skipping class,” Jisung smiled weakly at his taller friend, but he couldn’t help thinking about how class didn’t even matter anymore, he was going to die soon anyway. The weak smile he’d put on turned into a grimace.

“I never thought you would,” Hyunjin smiled fondly, oblivious to the smaller’s inner turmoil. “Okay, but why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?” 

“I…” Jisung paused. He couldn’t tell the truth, that his sickness was much more serious than a simple fever, but he wanted to stay as close to it as possible. “I really didn’t realize how bad it was until I was in class, and then Jae called Brian right away.” 

“...Sure okay,” Hyunjin said, side-eyeing Jisung suspiciously, but letting it go nonetheless. “Well, you’d better get some more rest, I’ll make you some breakfast, and by ‘make’ I mean pour a bowl of cereal.” Hyunjin stood up but Jisung grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back down.

“Wait.” Jisung pleaded when Hyunjin’s face changed into a mask of surprise. “I need to explain why I was such an asshole.” 

Hyunjin hestiated, then nodded slowly. Jisung took a deep breath. He needed to be as honest with Hyunjin as possible, without letting on that Minho was his soulmate, and without letting him know about the hanahaki. He needed to fix those problems on his own.

“So, I think I have a big crush on Minho…” Jisung started with the most shocking news, and his friend reacted accordingly. He gasped, and his eyes widened. “Wait-don’t say anything yet! He doesn’t know. I haven’t figured out how to tell him yet. So when you kissed him at the party, and even said it wasn’t the only time, it really hurt. But I know that’s not your fault, and if you guys want to be together that’s fine too. I also took my anger out on you, when you didn’t even know what you’d done, and I’m sorry.” 

Hyunjin’s face was still set in surprise, and when Jisung finished, he took a moment to formulate an answer, but was interrupted by his own laughing. 

“M-me? Be with--with Minho?” Hyunjin covered his mouth and laughed outright. “Nope. I mean, I can’t say I didn’t think about it for one emotionally vulnerable moment, and let’s be honest he’s undeniably beautiful, BUT, Minho and I aren’t together.” 

Jisung let out a sigh of relief. He’d been holding onto the hope that he was mistaken, and now that he knew he was, it felt as some of the pressure on his chest was released. Now, perhaps there would be a chance for him to figure out how to fix his and Minho’s broken bond. 

“Okay, so wait, how did you know you had a crush on him? And what about your soulmate tattoo?” Hyunjin immediately jumped into all his burning questions. 

“Uh...I knew the first time I saw him…” Jisung said, blushing a little. Hyunjin smiled, but let him continue. “And...as for my soulmate tattoo...I can date around, can’t I?” Jisung sputtered out some lame excuse, hoping it sounded at least slightly believable. 

“Yeah, totally. It’s really common nowadays to date before you meet your soulmate!” Hyunjin reassured him, and Jisung smiled absentmindedly. 

“Good, good. Okay but seriously, why did you kiss Minho the first time if you’re so adamant about not being with him?” Jisung shifted so that Hyunjin could comfortably lay in his bed next to him, and Hyunjin complied. 

“Well I’ve never been close with someone who doesn’t have a tattoo before, so I decided to ask him about it, and then I realized that there was a chance we could be soulmates, but there was only one way to prove it. So he offered, we kissed, we weren’t soulmates, the end. No feelings involved.” Hyunjin reassured, and Jisung nodded.

“Oh, uh…” The shorter boy paused, remembering something the other had said last night, teary and apologetic. “Last night you said you needed me...is everything okay?” 

“Oh,” Hyunjin looked taken aback. He didn’t say anything for a few moments, as if he was debating whether or not he should even say anything. “I think I’m in trouble…” Jisung realized how serious Hyunjin was when his voice turned solemn. He sat up, with a little effort because his muscles were so sore, and wrapped his arm around Hyunjin’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue talking. 

“I think I may have feelings for Changbin…” Hyunjin waited for Jisung to react poorly, to be disgusted, but instead Jisung just nodded with a thoughtful look on his face. He was quite familiar with non-typical soul bonds, especially due to his recent research. “It’s just that...every time I see him I’m just so happy, and he’s so cute, and when he does things for me I feel like I could die right then and be completely fulfilled. I know, something has to be wrong with me, I can’t like him; he has a soulmate already.” 

“So… when you’re near him, everything feels right?” Jisung asked, after a moment of contemplating.

“Yeah, you could say that. The question isn’t whether I like him or not, it’s how do I _stop_ liking him?” Hyunjin balled his fists in his hair, and rested his head on his hands. 

“Wait, no, just hear me out.” Jisung poked Hyunjin’s chin until he was facing him. “Do you feel like that around Felix too?”

“I mean...yeah, but I’ve always felt like that. Felix and I are best friends, you’re supposed to be comfortable around your friends…” Hyunjin’s eyebrows crinkled as he slowly figured out where Ji was going.

“Just the other day, I was doing some research for a class and I read that there are three-way soul bonds. They’re rare, but they happen. I’ve been seeing that chemistry between you and Felix for the entire time we’ve known him, but I always assumed that you were just good friends, but now...if you feel the same around Changbin, maybe you three are soulmates. It would make sense that they wouldn’t have your tattoo, since you don’t have one yourself!” Jisung’s voice got louder as he slowly realized that he was right.

“You really think so?” Hyunjin’s voice was impossibly small. 

“I really think so.” Jisung replied and smiled so brightly that Hyunjin had to join in as well. He began to nod, and Jisung patted him on the back.

“All you have to do now is tell them what you think, and then everything will be fine again!” Jisung shook the taller boy’s shoulders, absolutely ecstatic that he could (most likely) solve his friend’s problem so quickly. “And even if we’re wrong, they’ll understand your confusion, trust me. But I’m not wrong.”

“Sungie, what in the world would I do without you?” Hyunjin leaned over and hugged the smaller boy, not stopping the tears from leaving his eyes. He knew there was a chance that this wasn’t the solution, but Ji was so sure he was right. It just made him happy to talk to his friend again. “But also, how do I bring it up?” 

Jisung chuckled, as he was familiar with that exact problem. “I think you should tell them when they’re together. And also probably soon?” 

“I might need to hype myself up for a few days…” Hyunjin said with uncertainty. 

“Take your time.” Jisung patted the taller boy on the back one more time before throwing his blanket off of himself and standing up. 

“You’re not going to class, are you?” Hyunjin grabbed Jisung’s shirt, a warning in his eyes.

“I’m just going to take a shower, don’t worry.” Jisung reassured his best friend, who let go of his shirt reluctantly.

\-----------

The hot water felt amazing, and Jisung could feel his muscles relaxing. For a minute, he could almost pretend he was healthy. When he stepped out of the shower, however, he made the mistake of looking in the mirror. With no concealer under his eyes he looked like hell, but he supposed it could be worse. His eyes were bloodshot, but not enough to notice from far away.

The worst part of looking in the mirror without a shirt on was his tattoo. The black ink on his ribs looked as if it had just appeared, not a bit faded. It was as if it was mocking the clear attempts to remove it: the scars surrounding it were stark white against his tan skin, and Jisung had to hold back a gag. He put on a shirt, not caring that he hadn’t dried himself off yet. 

As he was about to leave the bathroom and head back to his room, a realization hit him as he remembered his conversation with Hyunjin just twenty minutes earlier. 

Yes, he was glad that Hyunjin wouldn’t be in pain, glad that his best friend would most likely find his soulmates. But realizing how simple the solution was to Jinnie’s problem just made his stomach drop. Maybe he should be crying about his own helpless soulmate situation. That would be the natural response...right? 

But instead he just felt numb. 

He didn’t try to think about his doom that seemed to be growing closer with each day, or the burden he had placed on his friends, or anything else, for that matter.

He had the numbness now, so he may as well utilize it while it lasted. The numbness was better than pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions! I'll also be posting polls on what you want to happen in the story (nothing major) so maybe I'll add your little bit if you ask nicely ^.^  
> @stanstraykids99


	12. In Which Jisung is an Expert at Being Emotionally Closed Off

Jisung had his work cut out for him hiding the Hanahaki. As the weeks went by, the worse and more frequent his coughing fits became. He’d become an expert at disposing of flower petals, and had passed off his coughing fits as a cold that just wouldn’t go away. He’d taken to breathing very carefully around his friends, so carefully he felt like he was suffocating. One strong breath would irritate his throat enough to trigger a fit. 

But he endured it, because he still held on to the idea that he could fix this. That he could cure himself. His only ideas thus far, however, included him moving on from Minho, which he wasn’t sure was possible. 

He’d tried the ‘moving on’ tactic, but he hadn’t been able to stay away from Minho for long enough. The problem was that the only places he felt like he could breathe were in his own room and when he was around Minho. Annoyingly, being around his soulmate lessened his urges to cough. 

_Days like these were his favorite. The ones where everyone was together and he didn’t have time to worry about hiding anything. Today’s color: yellow ochre._

_“Yah, Hyunjin, remember that time when I caught you crying about Crazy Rich Asians?” Jisung jabbed playfully at the boy._

_“Shut up,” he pouted. “They’re just so in love, it’s beautiful.”_

_“Sungie, you’re one to talk,” Minho, who was currently clinging onto Jisung for dear life, spoke up. “I caught you watching My Little Pony.”_

_“S-shut up! I like friendship lessons, so what?” Jisung’s ears were burning. “And I seem to remember someone joining me for a few episodes…” Minho laughed, not denying it._

_“Okay, but at least I didn’t watch it alone.”_

For a month he snuck around with his secret, and for a month nobody questioned it. 

\----

“Hey, Ji,” Jae muttered, elbowing Jisung at the end of their class. “Remember that gig I told you about at the beginning of the year? The one in October? It’s tonight!” 

“Tonight?!” Jisung sat up sharply. “I didn’t even buy tickets!”

“Woah, it’s okay, I reserved a ticket for you! I told you I would.” Jae quirked a smile and Jisung relaxed. 

“Oh thank god I would have felt so bad if I didn’t get tickets for a show you told me about months ago and clearly remember that conversation too--” 

“But it’s all good, no problems.” Jae interrupted Jisung before he became a bumbling mess. Jisung just took the hint and nodded. “It’s at this bar called Puzzles. So it’s not a concert concert but there’s still seating, and it’s a really big place so it’s almost like a concert. And I’ll get you a backstage pass so you can come hang out with us in the green room.”

“Oh, that’s awesome! I’ve never seen the inside workings of a concert, so it’ll be a great experience,” Jisung gushed, actually really excited. 

“Oh, and I can’t believe you still haven’t met my other three members, they want to meet you!” Jae smiled, holding up three fingers. 

“I can count, hyung.” Jisung rolled his eyes and smacked Jae’s hand. His hyung’s response was a face of absolute, open mouthed shock. He clutched his hand and howled in mock pain. 

“You’d dare hit your hyung like that?” 

“Yes,” Jisung smirked when Jae stuck his tongue out. 

“But forreal though, I’m excited to see you there. DAY6 hasn’t had a gig in a long time, and it’s going to be our first time playing some of the songs.” Jae began to glow with pride. It was obvious how much he really cared about his music, which made Jisung happy by proxy just listening to him talk about it. “You remember that rap I ran by you a few weeks ago?” 

Jisung just nodded. The rap had been good, but he’d tweaked a few of the words and made it flow just a bit better. Jae had thanked him profusely, though he couldn’t understand why, he’d barely done anything. 

“It’s in one of the songs we’re singing tonight!” Jae poked the younger boy’s forehead, “So you have to have to HAVE to come.” 

“Hyung, I already told you I’m coming, so chilll.” 

“Okay, but most important: friends who saw your video are coming, and really want to meet you! They asked for your number but I wouldn’t give it out without your permission.” 

Jisung side eyed Jae, caution in his eyes. He had no idea what someone that had seen his video would want from him, but he eventually just shrugged. “Okay,”

“Good, now I have to get to my next class but I’ll see you tonight!”

Jisung let out a gentle sigh, being careful not to irritate his throat. He gathered his things, pulled his blue cargo jacket on, and slung his backpack over his shoulder. 

The weather outside was cool, but it shouldn’t have been cold. When he looked at the forecast this morning, he was sure he’d be able to stand the chill with only his jacket and a long sleeve t-shirt - which were both longer than his arms, giving him sweater paws - but now, on the way back to the apartments, he was shivering almost uncontrollably. He picked up his pace, wanting not only to get home sooner, but also to get his body to warm up. 

Normally, he would have loved this weather. Fall was his favorite season, with cinnamon hot chocolate, flannel, and the crisp air. The trees around him were turning orange and red, a few of them were already falling, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t step on every single one he saw on the walk home. But this year it felt too bittersweet. He couldn’t find the same joy he usually felt, but it made him all the more determined to get out of his slump.

Jisung shook his head. Being sulky and self pitying wouldn’t solve his problems. Tonight, he was going to the DAY6 gig, and he was going to have fun, no strings attached. Maybe he’d find a way to get over Minho. 

\----

He had to admit, the leather jacket was a nice touch. Jisung admired himself in the full length mirror Hyunjin had insisted on putting in the living room. He wore his favorite ripped black skinny jeans and a black turtleneck sweater with a few silver necklaces. Hyunjin had practically demanded that he sport his leather jacket to ‘complete the look’, and it really had. The only splash of color in his outfit was his red tennis shoes to combat the rest of the monochrome scheme. Subtle as usual, he did his makeup, smudging the eyeliner out just enough to give definition.

“You look hot, Sungie~” A voice called from the kitchen. The owner of the voice strode through the door, flopping unceremoniously on the couch with a bag of chips.

“Thanks, Felix~” Jisung responded in the same sing songy voice. 

“To be honest, I’m a little miffed Jae-hyung didn’t invite anyone else,” Felix mused, but shrugged soon after. “I guess it makes sense, since we don’t really know him that well. You are the only one who has a class with him.”

“You can probably still go if you wanted?” Ji wasn’t sure if that was a true statement, but he figured he could ask Jae if they could come. 

“No, Changbin and I have a date tonight,” Felix smiled and fell into his thoughts for a few moments, not noticing Jisung’s grimace. Hyunjin still hadn’t brought up the whole soulmate thing to Felix and Binnie, which Jisung supposed he couldn’t complain about, since he was guilty of the exact same thing.

The sound of a door opening distracted the two boys from their conversation. The boys had given Chan a key to their dorm, because he was always complaining about wanting to check in on them, thus in walked Chan and Minho, carrying a six pack of Coke each. 

“Yah, Felix, here’s your coke that you won!” Chan said pointedly. He’d lost a bet to the younger earlier that week, and of course Felix had asked for Coke, practically the only thing they ever drank. 

“Woah, Ji, you look hot!” Minho said, walking into the living room without an invitation and flopping right next to Felix. 

Jisung ignored the twinge in his heart, and mustered a weak “Thank you.”

“What are you all dressed up for?” Chan added, trailing after Minho once he’d put the coke in the fridge. 

“Oh, Jae’s band has a gig tonight and he invited me to go,” Jisung answered, looking at his clock. “It’s at 8 if you want to come, but I have to be there early so I can meet them backstage.” 

“That’s the one at Puzzles, right?” Chan mused, and Jisung nodded. “Ugh, I can’t come. Sorry, Ji. I’ve got this big project due really soon and I have to work on it.” 

“No problem, I’m sure I’ll have fun alone. Anyway, I’ve gotta go, otherwise I’m gonna be late.” Jisung started jogging out of the room but immediately regretted it as a cough forced its way up his throat. Instead of heading for the door to the apartment, he dashed into the bathroom, closing the door as quickly as possible and letting out what had to be the worst coughing fit he’d had yet. The petals felt like they had razor edges as he coughed, the kind of cough that is so dry it burns your throat, your lungs, and your head all at the same time.

The worst part was the ringing in his ears. He felt like his head was going to explode because it was so loud. Jisung couldn’t hear anything over the ringing, but he managed to gather all the petals that he’d expelled and throw them in the toilet like usual, gradually feeling his hearing come back.

When his hearing had returned completely and he was sure that all the petals were disposed of, he opened the door to the bathroom, only to be met by three pairs of heavily concerned looking eyes. 

“Uh… Ji, are you sure that cold is a normal cold?” Felix brought up warily.

“No, yeah. It’s just a little worse than I was expecting. My colds usually get worse riight before they get better, so I should be over it soon!” Jisung lied through his teeth. He almost escaped, but Chan’s very disapproving voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Jisung, you’d better go to the doctor as soon as possible, okay?” He sounded almost scary, and Jisung just nodded in response, too scared to deny the Australian boy. He looked over at Felix, who just looked very concerned. Minho, even, looked like he was ready to up and take him to the hospital right that second. 

“Jisung, take him seriously, okay?” Minho said, almost mumbling, and not making eye contact. “You have to stay healthy. For hyung…s.”

Jisung just nodded and sulked out of the room, trying to get away from the tense atmosphere. He checked to make sure he had his wallet before heading out to meet Jae, their meeting delayed by around 10 minutes thanks to his stupid lungs. 

 

\----

“ _This_ is who wanted to meet me?” Jisung tried not to stare in open-mouthed wonder at the two men who stood before him. They both had dark hair and were absolutely gorgeous, one having a manly and authoritative look about him, while the other a handsome boyish charm. “Fucking JJ Project?!”

“Yah, Ji, chill with the cursing.” Jae smacked his shoulder, but Jisung didn’t even register that part.

“SAYS YOU,” He retorted, but didn’t pursue that anymore. What was more important was the fact that JJ Project had wanted to meet _him_. Hyunjin was going to kill him. Jinyoung was his role model. He would never hear the end of this.

“But anyway,” Jae’s voice was scathing, though Jisung knew he wasn’t serious, “JB and Jinyoung are with the company DAY6 might sign with, and we happened to meet and become friends a few weeks ago.”

Jisung raised his eyebrow, simply waiting for Jae to fill him in on how exactly he had come up in conversation and why.

“So, our class came up in conversation, and I sent them a link to your project,” Jae explained, slowing when Jisung gave him an incredulous look, but not stopping. “ _Because_ it deserved to be seen.” He explained before Jisung could even ask why he’d sent his freshman year project to celebrities that he didn’t know without his permission.

“Anyway, we really liked your song, and we just wanted to meet you when Jae said you’d be coming to his gig,” JB interjected, oblivious of the burning glare that Jisung was sending his hyung. “And we could really use some interns at the company, so we were asked to look for some. You’d be the perfect fit.”

Jisung’s jaw dropped, and it took a moment for his brain to reboot. “Me? Intern at JYP? As a _freshman_?”

“Yeah!” Jinyoung laughed and reached over, closing Jisung’s mouth for him. A blush spread over the younger’s cheeks, and he was suddenly very aware of what was happening. “Plus, Jae happened to mention that you’re very hard working and a pretty cool guy, so we figured why not?” 

“Uh, Yes. I’d love to!” Jisung managed after a brief pause.

“Perfect! Here, hand me your phone.” JB held his hand out and Jisung immediately put his phone in his sunbae’s hand. JB entered his phone number into Jisung’s phone and sent himself a text. Jisung took his phone back, holding it like it was the most precious thing in the world. 

He looked at the two texts sent from his phone, addressed to “Jaebum-sunbae” and “Jinyoung-sunbae”, before putting the device in his pocket so he couldn’t accidentally delete them or something stupid. 

“So now that that’s over with, welcome to the green room!” Jae said, giving a sweeping gesture to the smallish room they were in. “This is a small place, so it’s not suuuper exciting, but if you’re an intern at JYP, you’ll see that the backstage stuff for signed artists is a lot cooler.” 

Jisung just nodded, still in awe. He saw one makeup artist across the room putting finishing touches on Brian’s makeup and smiled when they made eye contact,waving a hello. 

“Hey, Ji! You over that cough yet?” Brian said loudly and Jisung winced, walking closer to him. “Nope, not yet.” Why had everyone chosen today to start fussing about his condition? 

“You should go to the doctor soon…” Brian deliberated, but he trailed off when he realized the rest of the band was there, too. “Oh, hey guys, this is Jisung! Jisung this is Wonpil on keyboard, Sungjin on rhythm guitar, and Dowoon is drum.” 

They all greeted him, and Jisung greeted them back. He felt so stiff, greeting so many sunbaes in one day, but it was a great opportunity nonetheless. 

“Oh, we wanted to thank you for helping Jae with that rap,” Sungjin interjected once introductions were made. “It had been bothering him for weeks.” 

“Oh, no problem at all! Lyrical rap is my specialty, so it was fun, honestly.” Jisung rubbed the back of his neck and his ears began to turn red. 

“Your ears turn red when you’re embarrassed just like Dowoon’s!” Wonpil pointed out, chuckling. That only caused his ears to turn even redder, but Jisung was saved by a stage manager calling “5 MINUTES TO PLACES” and everyone in the room but himself responding, almost bored, “Thank you five.” 

“Hey, we gotta go,” Brian said, patting Jisung on the back. “But thanks for coming! We’ll see you later, alright? Also, use your backstage pass to get free drinks.” He winked, and suddenly the band was gone. He followed their lead and left the green room, heading back to the main seating area. Jae had gotten him really good seats, about three rows back from the front, so he wasn’t too close, but still up near the action. He sat in his seat, and waited for the show to begin. 

\----

When the set was nearly over, Jisung headed back to the bar to grab a drink, because he was absolutely parched. He ordered a rum and coke like usual, and as he waited for the bartender to pour it for him, someone slid up into the seat beside him. He jerked away before realizing that it was Lee Minho in the flesh.

“Minho? What are you doing here?” Jisung had to raise his voice over the noise. 

“Came to make sure you’re okay! That coughing fit really worried us. Also Jae’s band is pretty good!” Minho half-yelled back. Jisung groaned inwardly. Nobody had suspected him until today. Now everyone was going to be worried and it was going to make hiding the Hanahaki that much harder. He smiled halfheartedly at Minho. 

“I’m fine, thank you!” Jisung realized it sounded a little harsher than he meant it, but he didn’t take it back. Why did Minho have to care about him? He’d specifically wanted to have fun without thinking about his soulmate tonight, but with his luck, conflict had just followed him, as if the universe was mocking his feeble attempts at survival. “Yeah, they are pretty good, aren’t they?” 

Jisung’s throat began to tickle and he cleared it, hoping to urge away the coughing. He wanted to be careful, though. Once he got his drink, he told Minho he was going to the bathroom, clearing his throat again before heading over to said bathroom.

-

“Yah, Jisung, drinking alcohol won’t help your throat!” Minho yelled after the younger boy, but he was simply waved off with a response of: “Alcohol is a disinfectant!” Minho rolled his eyes.

“Hey, do you guys have any water?” Minho leaned over the bar and asked the bartender. 

“Bottle’s twelve thousand won.” The bartender said, and Minho blanched. No way was he paying that much for a water bottle. He remembered that there was a convenience store right outside the bar and headed out the door. 

-

Jisung however didn’t end up coughing. He’d managed to choke it down, and assumed it made sense with what he’d hypothesised; that being near Minho made the coughing lessen. But when he returned to the bar, rum and coke in hand, his soulmate was gone. Jisung tried to brush it off, like it didn’t matter at all, but his heart tore a little just then. He swallowed, steeling himself and remembering what he’d said earlier about this night. 

He’d have fun, no strings attached. 

He downed the rest of his drink, ordering another one. He wouldn’t drink enough to get drunk, just enough to get tipsy, he promised himself. Once he’d paid for his drinks, he walked back to his seat, just in time for the last song. Everyone was standing, each individual abandoning their own seats to gather around the stage in clumps, so Jisung situated himself at about the same place that he was before. Coincidentally, the last song happened to have the rap that he’d helped Jae fix, subconsciously coercing him to rap along. The first drink started to kick in, since he hadn’t eaten much that night and he let the music wash over him as he spit the last few bars of the rap, smiling to himself, moving to the beat. 

“Hey, cutie.” A boy who looked a few years older than him was suddenly by his side.

“Hey,” Jisung said, taking another big gulp of his drink. The boy was very handsome, and he was standing _very_ close. He took a deep breath and smiled at the boy. Maybe this is what his fun would be.

“You rap really well! How do you know this song already?” The boy looked him up and down with hooded eyes, and Jisung felt like he was being inspected.

“Oh, I helped write it?” Jisung decided to brag a little, he may as well if he’d never see this guy again.

“No way? That’s so cool!” The boy smiled a blinding smile and for a second Jisung couldn’t get the image of Minho out of his head, but he shook it. Minho could not get in the way of his moving on. 

“Thanks! I’m Jisung, by the way!” 

“Ungjae!” The boy practically had to yell over the music. “Do you wanna go somewhere quiet so we can talk for a bit?” Jisung nodded, swallowing. The boy grabbed his free hand and led him out of the crowd. 

They ended up in the hallway of the bathrooms. Here, the music was just a dull thumping, and Jisung hadn’t realized how loud it had been until just now. 

“Wow, I didn’t realize how loud I’d been talking all night,” Jisung said, letting out a breath. 

“Yeah, DAY6 gets loud. Which you probably know, since you seem to know them.” Unjae just smiled, and Jisung nodded. 

“Oh, Jae’s just my hyung from one of my classes.” Jisung said, realizing how boring that sounded, but Ungjae was unphased. He was still standing very close, even though they didn’t need to shout anymore. 

“What do you study?” He asked in a low voice, and Jisung flinched a little when the older boy began to drag his index finger up his arm, but swallowed and answered anyway. 

“Music production,” His breath hitched when Ungjae’s finger trailed over his shoulder and onto his collarbone, though it was covered by a sweater, he still wasn’t expecting it.

“I think that’s _hot_.” Ungjae said, and Jisung’s heart was going wild. He wasn’t sure if it was from the proximity or from the low voice that Ungjae spoke in, but he didn’t have time to think before the older boy leaned in, their faces a hair’s breadth apart. Ungjae didn’t close the distance, and Jisung realized this was him asking for consent. 

This is what he had wanted. A way to move on.

Jisung closed the distance, but let the older boy take the lead in the kiss, which he wasted no time in doing. Jisung was pushed against the wall, and Ungjae kissed him hard. It was sloppy and rough, but he couldn’t deny that he didn’t hate it. 

Ungjae nibbled at Jisung’s lip, which elicited an involuntary moan from the younger boy. Ungjae took that as a sign that he was enjoying himself and began to trail kisses onto Jisung’s jawline. Jisung’s hand found themselves tangled in the elder’s hair. 

The elder’s fingers by contrast began to tease at the bottom of Jisung’s sweater. When there was no protest, Ungjae slipped his hand up the sweater, pulling Jisung flush against him and crashing their lips together again. 

For some reason, the physical touch on his abdomen made him hesitate. Ungjae sensed this and pulled back a little. 

“Is this still okay?” Ungjae gently feathered his fingers over Jisung’s side, hands remaining under his shirt.

“Uhm…” Jisung thought for a moment. He steeled himself. He had to embrace his numbness. “Yeah.”

“Then why don’t we head back to my place?” Ungjae whispered, and practically danced away from Jisung, grabbing his hand. He pulled Jisung across the bar, and right outside, flagging a cab almost immediately. He gave the cab driver an address, and then pounced on Jisung again. This time, between each kiss, Ungjae murmured a few words.

“You,” He breathed, his lips barely separated from Jisung’s, “Are so attractive. The way you rapped earlier...” He didn’t finish his sentence taking to kiss the younger boy again. Jisung didn’t say anything, but for some reason, he remembered Minho recently complimenting how his rapping had improved. He grunted, trying to will away the image of Minho that was now in his head. 

“I can’t wait to get you back home,” Ungjae said, and Jisung almost heard it in Minho’s voice. It was no use. He gently pulled away from Ungjae and put his hands on the elder’s shoulders.

“I actually don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m still trying to get over someone…” Jisung said, telling a half truth. “I’m sorry.”

Ungjae pulled back immediately. “Oh, it’s totally okay. I get what you’re going through.” Jisung felt like he was going to get whiplash by how quickly the elder had accepted his rejection. “I still think you’re really hot though.” Jisung blushed, as if he wasn’t already flushed from the makeout session. “Why don’t you let the cab driver take you back home, then I can drop you off.” 

Jisung sighed in relief. He was glad the guy he’d randomly decided to almost sleep with was actually a decent guy. He gave the cab driver the address of the dorm building, which thankfully was nearby. 

When they got to the building, before Jisung stepped out, Ungjae grabbed his wrist gently. “Hey, if you ever decide you’re over them, give me a call? I can give you my number?” Jisung hesitated, but pulled his phone out anyway. He let Ungjae put his number in, then handed him some money for the cab ride before heading back to his dorm. 

The walk upstairs was entirely too quiet, but Jisung didn’t want to allow himself to think. Instead he focused intently on how his feet took step after step in front of him, moving his body forward as if of its own volition. 

It wasn’t until he got back to his room that everything hit him. He closed the door and flopped on his bed. 

Minho had left him  
He’d almost hooked up with a stranger  
But he couldn’t stop thinking about Minho  
Who had just left him 

He didn’t bother to cry, emptily staring at the ceiling defeated, as if he had given up on having emotions. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, completely silent. It felt like days, but it could have been an hour for all he knew. But eventually, his silence was interrupted by a commotion outside his door.

His door opened and he shot upright. There stood Chan, Woojin, and Minho and they looked utterly terrified.

“What?” Jisung said dumbly, wondering why they were barging into his room. Seeing his hyungs, and especially Minho, finally got him to tear up a little. He blinked the tears away, though.

“Oh, Jisung we were so worried!” Woojin sighed, running to the youngest’s side and giving him a hug. 

“You were?” His voice was tiny, not understanding.

“Of course we were! We had no idea where you were!” Chan joined his soulmate on the opposite side of Jisung, also hugging him.

“You...didn’t know where I was?” Jisung narrowed his eyes. “I’m pretty sure you knew exactly where I was, Minho.” Jisung stood up, and Chan and Woojin’s arms fell off of him, sensing something wrong. 

“I’m pretty sure you knew exactly where I would return to when I finished in the bathroom, but you were gone.” Jisung’s words had venom in them, and Minho stepped backwards, out the door of Jisung’s bedroom. “Leave.” Jisung said that last word with so much force, he almost felt bad. But he didn’t. Instead he just shut the door and crawled back into bed. 

Chan and Woojin were silent for a second, but then they went in to hug him. Jisung accepted the comfort, and he began to cry. His tears started slowly, but eventually they became full on sobs racking his chest. He was surprised that he didn’t have a coughing fit from this alone, but he thanked his lucky stars that he could stay in his hyungs’ arms while he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta to DM me any questions!  
> @stanstraykids99
> 
> Next update: March 16th, 2019


	13. In Which ChangHyunLix. That's It, That's the Title.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was also not beta edited, apologies for any mistakes!   
> Fun fact I listened to (Don't Make Me Cry) by Jessi while I was writing Hyunjin's part.

Jisung avoided Minho like the plague. Throughout the next week, if there was any hint of a possibility that Minho would be somewhere, he would stay in. 

Though he spent most of his time indoors now, he probably would have done the same even if he wasn't avoiding Minho, since the Hanahaki had been getting worse. He had lost weight; not enough that it was dangerous but still a significant amount. When he looked into the mirror, his cheeks were sallow and his eyes had dark circles that seemed to get worse every day. Not to mention how bad the coughing fits were now. At least once a day, he’d have a fit worse than the last, sometimes lasting thirty minutes. His throat and lungs were constantly in pain. 

When even breathing hurt, all he could do was sleep, though it was never restful. His body was fatigued enough that it desperately needed the sleep, but his nightmares had only gotten worse. Every night another memory of his father had come back, though sometimes, the worst times, the scathing words that told him he was worthless and unlovable came from Minho’s mouth instead of his father’s. So his body and his mind were constantly fighting each other, and he was worse for the wear. 

He woke up at 2 PM from a fitful nap, attempting to make up for the sleep he hadn’t gotten that night, even though he knew it was a losing battle.

“I’m doing it today!” The door burst open and Jisung leaped practically five feet in the air, hurriedly wiping a few tears off of his cheeks.

“Hyunjin! Good morning…” Jisung looked at the clock and realized what time it was. “Or, afternoon I guess.”

“Dude, did you just wake up?” Hyunjin said, sitting next to Jisung on the bed. “You need to fix your sleep schedule. Did you even go to class today?”

“Ah, none of my classes today were important enough,” Jisung made up an excuse. He’d miraculously been able to hide from his roommates that he hadn’t gone to class all week, so he wasn’t going to let that change. Honestly, his friends were pretty dense for not realizing a lot of stuff, but he wasn’t about to complain when it was saving his ass. “But anyway, you’re going to tell them today??” 

“Yes. It’s perfect. I know they’re coming here to have a stay-in movie night date, and I’m just gonna...step in there and…” Hyunjin faltered. “I hadn’t really thought of what I was going to do past that point.”

Hyunjin hung his head and Jisung chuckled, patting his shoulder reassuringly. “Trust me, all you have to do is explain everything to them very clearly. They’ll understand, and everything will make sense.” To which Hyunjin nodded, giving Jisung a thankful look. 

“And, I’ll find something to do tonight so I won’t be here,” Jisung mused, wondering what he could do. He was still tired from his lack of sleep, and he wondered if it would be too weird to go to the library and take a nap in one of the study rooms.

“You could just go over to the hyung’s?” Hyunjin offered cautiously. 

“I...no I have something!” Jisung squeaked, and the other boy rolled his eyes. 

“You think I don’t know you, but I do,” Hyunjin turned to face Jisung. “You’ve been avoiding anything to do with Minho for the last week. I don’t know what happened, but you need to make up with him. Regardless of your feelings towards him, you two are friends. So act like it.”

“But--” 

“No buts. Make up with him.” 

“Fine. Just as friends though.” Jisung crossed his arms and pouted. Hyunjin patted him on the head, smiling. 

“Atta boy.” 

That’s how Jisung found himself standing in front of the hyung’s dorm in his pajama pants with a pillow in hand. Before he could even find the courage to knock, the door opened and Changbin was there, in the same getup as Jisung, pillow, pajamas, and all. 

“Oh hey, Ji, whatcha doin over here?” Changbin asked, adjusting the pillow so it was behind him and attempting to hide the blush on his face.

“Uh, I just...wanted to hang out with my hyungs,” Jisung’s voice raised at the end of his sentence as if it was a question. Changbin raised his eyebrow.

“Not avoiding us anymore?” he mused, and Jisung tensed. 

“I--I wasn’t avoiding you, I was just really tired!” Jisung decided on using an excuse instead of telling him that he was actually avoiding Minho only. Besides, it was technically true. He’d been _so_ tired.

Changbin gave him an incredulous look, but eventually nodded and ruffled Jisung’s hair. “I missed you, Ji.” Jisung tried not to think about how nice that’d made him feel as Changbin walked past him and down the hallway. He watched the older boy and shook his head. His bond with the hyungs would get him _out_ of this situation, not complicate it. Even if it hurt him later, he could appreciate the love his friends gave him.

Changbin had left the door open, so Jisung just trotted into the apartment with no warning. In the kitchen, Chan and Woojin were making food together. 

“Hey, hyungs,” Jisung said under his breath, not wanting to disturb them. Surprisingly, Woojin noticed him and turned around, beaming. 

“Ji! Back to the world of the living!” He called, alerting Chan to Jisung’s presence. This brought a wall of Australian onto Jisung, hugging him probably too enthusiastically. 

“Hey, I just came to hang out slash nap,” Jisung explained. “Something important is happening over in my dorm tonight so I can’t be over there.”

“OoOOoooOO something important??” Chan finally released Jisung and held him by the shoulders, looking him intensely in the eyes. “What is it?” 

“I can’t tell you yet, you’ll find out soon enough though,” The boy said, avoiding Chan’s intense gaze. 

“Fine,” Chan pouted, but Jisung stood his ground. He wasn’t about to tell him about Hyunjin’s dilemma, just in case they were wrong. 

“Hey, um…” Jisung looked around, seeing nobody else in the apartment. “Where’s...Minho?” he asked hesitantly.

“Oh, uh…” Chan and Woojin shared a look, and Woojin continued Chan’s sentence for him. “His grandfather died yesterday. He got the call this morning, so he went home to go visit his family. He’ll be back on Sunday.”

“WHAT?” Jisung dropped his pillow. “Why didn’t he say anything??” 

“Well, he told us. And you…” Woojin hesitated. “Well, he knows you’re mad at him.”

“That doesn’t mean that he can’t tell me that his grandfather died!” Jisung cried, throwing his hands in the air. “We’re still friends for God’s sake.” 

“He didn’t know that for sure…” Chan said quietly.

“Really?” Jisung’s voice was tiny. Had he been that mean to him?

“Yeah, I mean the fight you had was pretty intense. Also one-sided.” Woojin explained. “You never let him get in a single word to explain himself.” 

“Damnit,” Jisung cursed. He’d not only been a mean douche and gotten into a fight, but it had been the week that Minho lost a family member. Why did he have to be so stupid sometimes? Not to mention the fact that his soulmate didn’t want to tell him about that tragedy. What kind of terrible soulmate was he, that he couldn’t be trusted with emotions like this?

The kind that slammed doors in faces without getting an explanation. 

“Oh, I’m a terrible person,” Jisung whined, and Chan shook his head fervently. 

“No, no. You just were emotional and angry, I get it. You made a wrong choice. It’s okay. You can just apologize.”

“But now I can’t apologize until Sunday,” Jisung pouted, and Chan patted him on the back. 

“It’s okay, he ’ll still understand. You can try texting him, though I wouldn’t do the apology over text.” 

“What would I say though?” Jisung took his phone out.

“Just tell him that you need to talk as soon as he gets back and that you miss him,” Woojin looked over his shoulder and watched as Jisung composed the text. 

Jisung 8:35 PM  
Hey, hyung. I really miss you. Sorry about your grandpa. Can we talk as soon as you get back on Sunday?

He hit send and held his phone close to his chest. Jisung knew he’d been a bad soulmate the whole time, but this was the worst thing he’d done yet. 

Which is why he didn’t belong with someone as idealistic about his soulmate as Minho was. 

Which is why he didn’t belong with Minho. 

Jisung wrinkled his nose as a tickle in his throat almost caused him to start coughing. He made some excuse for Chan and Woojin and rushed to the bathroom. 

This fit was worse than usual. The cough was dry and painful. Not only did it feel like his throat was being ripped apart, but it had spread to his lungs, which felt as if they were going to collapse at any moment. In between each bad wave of coughs, as the yellow petals floated gently down, Jisung took heaving breaths, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure if the tears were emotional or from the coughing, but they streaked all the way down to his neck nevertheless. 

Once the fit had calmed down significantly, Jisung sat on his knees in front of the toilet, catching his breath. A few more coughs, and when he was sure it was finally over, he swept the petals that had escaped into his hands and threw them in the toilet bowl, flushing them down. The combination of fatigue from lack of sleep and the loss of muscle mass from the hanahaki made it difficult for him to stand, and when he did, he was very wobbly.

He wiped the tears and splashed some water on his face, but it was still obvious how wrecked the coughing had left him. His eyes were bloodshot and the concealer he’d been wearing, as he had been every day now, had worn off. He groaned, not wanting to explain this to Chan and Woojin, but he had to leave their bathroom eventually. 

When he opened the door, he jumped backward, hitting his back against the sink and wincing. His two hyungs had been waiting right in front of the bathroom door.

“Hyungs. Was it necessary to stand right in front of the door?” Jisung rolled his eyes and pushed past the two, but before he was free, Chan grabbed Jisung’s arm. Jisung was expecting to get yelled at, but what Chan did broke his heart just a little. He pulled Jisung into his arms and hugged him. 

“Are you okay?” Chan murmured, rubbing the younger’s back.

Jisung took a moment to catch his breath. When he answered, his voice was hoarse and he cursed his stupid disease. “I’m fine, just can’t get rid of this cold.” 

“It’s been weeks!” Woojin exclaimed, also rubbing Jisung’s back. “How aren’t you over it yet?” 

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Jisung admitted truthfully. “My body hasn’t had enough time to repair itself overnight.” That was also true, though he didn’t think sleep would really help him anyway. 

“Is it the nightmares?” Chan said in a soothing, low voice. Jisung had almost forgotten that he’d told the others about his nightmares. He nodded. 

“They’re getting worse,” His voice broke, and Chan hugged him tighter for a moment before releasing him. 

“I have an idea,” Chan offered, beckoning Woojin over to him. “Wait here.” 

Jisung stood in the doorway of the bathroom, dumbfounded. He waited there for only three minutes before Chan hurried back, grabbing Jisung’s hand and leading him across the apartment.

“We may not be able to help you sleep every day, but right now, we can.” Chan led the younger boy into the soulmates’ bedroom. “We’d let you sleep in Minho’s room but his bed isn’t big enough for all three of us. But I stole one of his blankets since we won’t all fit underneath one.” 

Jisung wasn’t sure what to feel at that. He knew that smelling Minho’s scent on his blanket would likely help him minimize the coughing fits he had, but it would also remind him of how to mean he’d been to his soulmate. Eventually, he just shrugged, taking the blanket. The benefits outweighed the downfalls. 

He looked around the room and realized there was a lit candle and soft music playing. He glanced at Chan, who just beamed at him, proud of the work he’d gone to in order to give Jisung an ideal sleeping situation.

He hadn’t realized how exhausted he was until he crawled into the bed, and they must have had a mattress topper because it felt like the most comfortable bed in the whole world. He was already falling asleep by the time he was under Minho’s blanket, and he barely felt Chan and Woojin lay on either side of him, one petting his hair soothingly. 

He drifted into sleep peacefully, with the sound of Woojin’s soft voice humming a lullaby. 

\----

Hyunjin had heard the door open a few minutes ago, and now from his room, he could hear the faint noises of talking and giggling filtering through. He had to do it now before they got too lovey. Taking a deep breath, Hyunjin finally opened the door and entered the living room. He looked at the two boys cuddling on the couch, and his heart warmed. 

Since he’d kissed Changbin, he was able to feel the elder’s emotions, though faint. Currently, he was very comfortable and content, but anybody would be able to see that. Felix was curled up in a blanket with his head resting on Changbin’s lap, who was smiling down at him. Hyunjin beamed as he felt a sense of rightness. He knew that he was right and that these two were his soulmates. All that was left was to convince them of that. 

“Hey,” He said tentatively, heading over to the couch and sitting on the edge. 

“Hyunjinie!” Changbin said, and his face lit up. “I feel like we haven’t talked in forever!” 

Hyunjin nodded, still not sure how to begin. “Uh, yeah. There’s a reason for that…” 

Felix frowned and sat up, cuddling his back into Changbin so they were both facing the boy. 

“If this is about the kiss, I’m not mad--” Felix began, but his voice trailed off when Hyunjin held up a hand. 

“It is about the kiss. Well, it is and it isn’t.” Hyunjin said. The two other boys looked at him expectantly. He took a deep breath.  
“ITHINKYOUTWOAREMYSOULMATESBECAUSEWHENIKISSEDCHANGBINICOULDFEELHISEMOTIONS.”

“Uh...sorry what was that?” Felix asked, looking up at Changbin, who had a blank look on his face. “It was too fast for me, remember I don’t speak Korean very well?”

“I think you two are both my soulmates,” Hyunjin was very tense, and when Felix reached out to his shoulder, he flinched. Felix took his hand back and frowned. Before either of them could say anything else, Hyunjin told them everything. “When we kissed at that party, I swear it felt right. I mean, I was drunk and I’ve always been lonely, so I thought it was just the alcohol, but the next day, I swear I could still feel Changbin hyung’s emotions. They were faint, but I can even feel them now. Right now, he’s confused,” Hyunjin winced. “Understandably.” 

“I talked to Jisung about it, I felt terrible because I thought I had a crush on him and I would never do anything to hurt you, Felix. But then Ji said something that made so much sense. He asked what it felt like when I was around you. It’s always felt right to be near you, Felix. I assumed it was just because we’re friends, and that’s how friends feel about each other. But once I figured out that Changbin hyung and I shared this connection, that made so much more sense.” Hyunjin paused. Felix’s face now mirrored Changbin’s, thoughtful, but not offended. Hyunjin relaxed a little. “So...I just wanted to tell you that. I’ll let you two have your movie night, and you can think about it and see if I’m right.” 

This wasn’t the exact reaction that Hyunjin had wanted, but he understood. He stood up, moving to leave the room, but was stopped by a hand on his wrist. His heart skipped a beat when he looked down to see Felix leaning forward, clinging to Hyunjin for dear life. 

“Wait, don’t leave.” His eyes shone with an emotion Hyunjin couldn’t identify, which scared him.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t want to come between you two…” He stuttered, not attempting to pull away from the younger’s grip.

“Come here, idiot.” Felix yanked on his arm, pulling Hyunjin in between the two of them. 

“I think you’re right,” Changbin said. “I hadn’t felt it before because of how strong my connection with Felix had been, and how new it was, but now that you pointed it out, I can definitely feel your emotions too.”

Hyunjin’s heart just about stopped. He was right.

“I-I don’t know what to say?” He squeaked, and Felix  
chuckled. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Felix gently touched his face, that was currently beet red, and turned it towards himself. “Don’t you feel that?” Felix said his fingers light on Hyunjin’s cheek. “When you touch your soulmate, there’s this space in your chest that feels like you finally belong. I feel that too, with you. I didn’t notice it either since we’ve been friends now for years. But I feel it when I’m touching you.”

Hyunjin was going to explode. He knew exactly what Felix was talking about. He’d been pulled in between the two, so he was currently sandwiched between them, against Changbin’s chest, and facing Felix. He felt that space in his chest that had always been there, completely full. His heart felt warm, and a tear slipped from his eye. Felix’s eyes widened, and he hurriedly wiped the tear from the elder’s cheek.

“Don’t cry!” He exclaimed, which made Hyunjin chuckle. 

“I’m just...so happy.” His voice broke, and so did the dam holding back his tears. They began to stream down his cheeks. He finally knew where he belonged. Here, in both Changbin and Felix’s arms. Felix wiped the tears off his cheeks, this time with both hands. He leaned in slowly, giving Hyunjin time to stop him, but of course, he didn’t. 

“Don’t cry,” Felix whispered and closed the small distance between their lips. Hyunjin inhaled sharply through his nose, even though he’d known this was coming. His heart was going to fail at this point. The kiss was warm and salty from his tears, but mostly it was soft and gentle. Slowly, as if from the heat of a hot spring, Hyunjin began to feel Felix’s emotions alongside his and Changbin’s. Concern was at the forefront. Concern for Hyunjin’s well-being. Second was an unbridled joy that seeped into his brain like a happy virus. That didn’t help his tears as they just fell more freely. Felix parted their lips slowly, resting his forehead on Hyunjin’s. 

“I really don’t like it when you cry,” He said, frowning.

Another laugh bubbled up from Hyunjin’s chest. 

“Hey, c’mere,” Changbin said from behind him. Hyunjin turned, and the elder kissed the tears from his cheeks softly, then looked him in the eyes. “We’re here now.”

Changbin’s kiss was different than Felix’s. It was stronger but still comforting. He’d kissed Changbin before, but this was a whole different feeling. The emotions he’d felt from Changbin before just strengthened. 

When the two parted, Felix was pouting. “Why’d you laugh at me?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“Oh, no Lixie, I wasn’t laughing at you. I’m just so relieved and happy,” Hyunjin pulled Felix towards him so that the three were all cuddled together. Felix’s pout wavered and he began to smile. “Lix knows this, but Changbin, one of my biggest fears has always been not finding my soulmate.” 

Changbin felt his sincerity and nodded solemnly. 

“I guess it comes with the territory of not having a tattoo,” Changbin mused. 

“Exactly,” Hyunjin affirmed, and tentatively leaned in to kiss Changbin on the cheek. “So this is kind of the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Not only did I find my soulmate, but I found both of them.” 

“Well, how about watching a movie with both of your soulmates right now?” Changbin offered, and Hyunjin beamed. 

“Nothing would make me happier.” 

\---

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” 

Jisung groaned. He fumbled around for his phone, and when he found it in the pocket of his hoodie, he squinted at the screen, seeing that it was nine in the morning.

He’d slept for twelve hours with not a single nightmare. He hadn’t even woken up to cough. His body still felt fatigued, but it was much better than it had been last night.

“I made breakfast, come on,” Jisung suddenly remembered the voice that had woken him up, and noticed that there was nobody in the bed with him. He looked up to the doorway to see Woojin standing there smiling. 

“Yes, hyung. Thank you!” He dragged himself out of bed, but first he checked his phone. The text he'd sent to Minho yesterday was marked as 'read', with no response. He winced, but he figured he deserved to be left on read for what he had done. 

Jisung shook his head and trotted to the kitchen, where a huge breakfast spread was set out. Chan and Woojin sat there, still smiling.

“Are you ready for the best day of your life?” Chan said, and Jisung raised his eyebrow.

“Uh...maybe?” He said, hesitantly sitting down at the table and beginning to eat breakfast. 

“All we’re doing today is watching movies, eating cheesecake, and online shopping.” 

Jisung laughed out loud, causing Chan’s eyebrows to crease. 

“What? I figured you’d like it, and we felt bad about you not being able to sleep.”

“No, no hyung, I was laughing because it’s perfect! Those are all my favorite things. How’d you know?” Jisung shook his head, smiling at his food. 

“We made a secret ‘protect Han Jisung’ group chat with Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin and asked them what would make you happiest,” Chan said happily. Jisung smiled, but his heart wanted to break. His friends all cared about him so much. He didn’t deserve that love, especially not keeping this secret from them. 

Today, he would have fun, he would do the things that made him happiest. But after today, he decided that he wouldn’t take advantage of his friend’s kindness anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry this ones a bit late, I usually post about six hours earlier. I actually went to all my classes this week, so I had a lot of stuff going on. BUT I still made it! 
> 
> Follow me on insta @stanstraykids99
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> Next update: 3-23-2019


	14. In Which Jisung Is Bad at Being Mean

Sunday had taken what felt like years to finally arrive. Jisung fidgeted on the couch at Chan’s, waiting not-so-patiently for Minho to arrive. Minho had eventually responded to his text with a begrudged ‘ok’, and he was set to come back at around 6PM. Jisung had been waiting for him since three, just in case he came back early. He’d been practicing his apology the entire time, and kept on beating himself up for what he’d done.

His muscles ached, his lungs burned, and all he wanted to do was lay in his bed and sleep, but he would be here for Minho. It had taken all of his strength to drag himself across the hallway, and it was the furthest he’d walked in several days.

“Cocoa?” Changbin’s voice interrupted Jisung’s inner turmoil, and Jisung nodded thankfully, taking the mug that the elder offered. He wrapped his fingers around the mug, savoring the warmth. “I knew you’d want it, and since I’ve become your official personal drink slave, I made you one.”

Jisung chuckled softly, but there was no feeling to it.

“I know you’re worried about how much you affected Minho, but I promise you that he will understand,” Changbin patted the younger boy on the shoulder. “He cares about you more than you think.” A pang of regret twisted Jisung’s heart, and he winced, but then shook it off. Maybe Minho cared for him as a friend, but it would never be more than that. Minho didn’t want to coddle his soulmate, especially not one that would slam a door in his face without even asking for his side of the situation. 

The only thing Jisung could do now to fix his mistakes was to apologize, then distance himself. From everyone. He had a feeling that the hanahaki wasn’t going to get any better. His friends, his best friends that had always been there for him, would feel the brunt of his death if he stayed as he was. 

The sound of a door opening caused Jisung to flinch, and Changbin patted him on the shoulder once more before heading to his room to give Jisung some semblance of privacy. Jisung looked up to see Minho striding into the room with a bag slung over his shoulder. His hair was messy and there were bags under his eyes. He looked almost as bad as Jisung did, which was truly a feat. The look on his face was sour, and Jisung almost lost his resolve. 

“Oh,” Minho said, his voice soulless, “Hold on.” Jisung’s heart dropped watching him walk away and into his room. It was all he could do just to hope that his soulmate would come back into the living room.

It took Minho about five minutes to come back, nearly convincing Jisung to give up. The door reopened, and Jisung looked up at his soulmate hopefully, his eyes shining. He was already about to cry, but he held it back as best as he could. Minho hesitated a moment before he took a seat on the opposite side of the couch Jisung was occupying. 

“So,” Jisung started, his voice uncertain. “I’m really sorry to hear about your grandpa.” Minho nodded, expressing his gratitude without words. “But what I’m really here for is to apologize. I was angry and unreasonable that night.” 

Minho nodded again, which felt like a punch to the gut, but Jisung supposed he deserved it. 

“I just, I’m _really_ sorry,” Jisung scooched closer to Minho hesitantly. “I didn’t want you to think we wouldn’t be friends anymore, that thought didn’t even cross my mind.” Minho relaxed a little, which gave Jisung the confidence to go on. “I can’t believe how stupid I was that I didn’t even let you talk, so here. I’ll give you my undivided and very sorry attention right now.” 

Minho waited a few beats, pulling together an explanation. “I…” he swallowed. “After you went to the bathroom, I was worried that you’d get too drunk if you didn’t have some water, so I asked the bartender if they had water, but they only sold bottles and they were 12,000 won and _god_ I’m so stupid but I wasn’t going to spend that much on water so I went to the convenience store across the street without telling you.” Minho finally took a breath. “When I came back, I couldn’t find you, so I looked for about twenty minutes and when I couldn’t find you I panicked. I called Woojin and asked him if you’d come back, and he said you hadn’t and I was just so , _worried.”_

Jisung felt his heart break right then and there.

“You know the rest,” Minho finished solemnly. 

“I’m so sorry, you were genuinely worried about me and I just yelled at you, I’m such an idiot,” Jisung choked out, the tears in his eyes falling down his cheeks. 

“Yeah, it hurt,” Minho said, and Jisung nodded sympathetically. “But I accept your apology.” This time, Minho was the one to scooch closer to the other. “Hey, don’t cry. You don’t have to cry since I forgive you.” 

Jisung’s world suddenly slowed down as Minho began to reach for him. Minho’s long fingers touched Jisung’s cheek softly as if he was in danger of breaking, and his thumb just barely brushed over the tears on the younger’s face. The touch from his soulmate felt embarrassingly good, and he fought the urge to press his face further against the hand that ghosted lightly over his tears. Jisung sucked in a breath as he realized how close the elder’s face was to his own. Minho’s fingers didn’t move, and Jisung felt as if he were a stone statue, unable to move in either direction. 

In that moment, Jisung decided that he definitely loved Minho. Looking into his eyes like this made him reflect on everything they had done together. Their few months as friends had been frustratingly amazing. Every time that the two had been together, though Jisung had tried to fight it, he couldn’t stop laughing, and everything felt right.

But then he remembered how little he deserved a soulmate as good as Minho. He was like a china cup that had already broke and been repaired: handle with extreme care, comes with a tragic backstory.

The moment didn’t last, though. A loud bang sounded from across the room, causing the two (embarrassed) boys to spring away from each other. 

“Binnieee?” A voice called from the door. Felix and Hyunjin came in, arms slung around each other. Minho raised his eyebrow and looked questioningly at Jisung. 

“Oh...I guess you don’t know about this yet, but Hyunjin, Changbin, and Felix are all soulmates with each other,” Jisung explained, smiling to himself. “Really, they’re disgustingly sweet and it’s only been two days.”

The awkward atmosphere gone, they watched Changbin come out of his room to join them on the couch along with his other two soulmates. As everyone began catching up (Felix animatedly telling Minho the story of how Hyunjin finally confessed), Jisung shook his head. He’d gotten so close to letting his secret out, and right after he had decided to distance himself, too. Did he really have that little self control when it came to Minho?

He stayed for a little while to listen, but then excused himself. The emotions swirling around in his brain were too much for him to handle right now, he needed to vent somehow. Instead of the steady and confident walk out of the living room that he wanted, he stumbled at the door frame, struggling to keep himself upright. Thankfully, he was able to sneak off to his room without anyone noticing anything unusual. 

Entering his room, it felt like Jisung could finally breathe. He took a deep breath, trying not to breathe too hard and cause another fit. Jisung pulled his chair out from under his desk and sat down heavily, not having enough energy to hold himself upright anymore. After a minute of digging through his very messy junk drawer, he found what he was looking for. 

The blank page of his music journal stared at him. 

What exactly did he want to write? He shuffled through his recent emotions. 

Admiration(purple). Love(pink). Pain(red). Guilt(green).

Perfect.

He wrote the phrase that started everything: “Hyung, who are they?” Then he spilled out everything he was feeling onto the paper.

 

_너의 행복은 내 고통의 가치가있다_

_당신의 영혼에 붙어있는 닻으로 어떻게 행복해질 수 있습니까?_

_죽음을 가정하면 끝이다_

_그 이야기는 너에 관한거야_

_계속 될 것이다_

_행복하게 지내세요  
나를 위해서_

_(Your happiness is worth my pain_

_How could you be happy with an anchor attached to your soul_

_Death is only the end if you assume_

_the story is about you_

_It will continue_

_Please stay happy  
For me.) _

 

A song he would never finish. A melody that would never be heard. 

Involuntarily Jisung’s body lurched out of his chair as he put the finishing touches on the song, his lungs deciding to reject themselves out of his chest with heavy heaves coming in hoards. He almost retched as he coughed up what must have been enough petals to make an entire flower.

This fit was the worst by far. He’d fallen out of his chair, and was now kneeling on the ground, weakened arms just barely holding himself up. The petals sprinkled themselves on his knees and collectively pooled around him in a half circle. If they weren’t symbols of his death, he would have wanted a picture of them.

Something was off this time however. While the petals had always been yellow, the ones around him now were from a different flower. Jisung didn’t know anything about flowers, not to mention why or how he’d suddenly start coughing up different petals but It wasn’t his problem if they were going to choke him to death either way. He shrugged it off and gave himself a moment.

Once he had recovered and could breathe again, Jisung sat up with difficulty. He swept the petals into a pile in a practiced motion and threw them away, grimacing at them as he usually did. He threw a crumpled piece of paper over the top of them just to be sure that nobody would see them. 

Jisung felt a sudden surge of anger and picked up a bowl that he’d been keeping in his room. He couldn’t stop himself, and it was as if he was watching from the outside as he threw the bowl at the wall, smashing it into pieces.

A few moments passed before Jisung realized what he’d done. His eyes widened in shock. He hadn’t ever been someone who got violent when he was angry. The dread started to seep in when he connected his actions with those of his father’s.

He fell to his knees for the second time that day. this time the tears that fell from his eyes weren’t from anger, rather they were that of pain.

_A loud smash sounded from the living room, and Jisung pulled the covers closer to him. He was hoping that his father wouldn’t come into his room, but was disappointed when the creak of the door opened._

_A broken bottle pointed threateningly at him._

_A drunken gesture too close to his arm._

_Blood._

Jisung looked at the pieces of ceramic, horrified. He hurriedly went to clean them up. He’d picked up almost all of the pieces and was cradling them in his arm, when he sliced his finger on the last final one. It was a deep cut, and for a while, all he could do was look at it. 

The crimson liquid seeped from the wound, and he watched it, recalling all the times he’d drawn it on purpose. He shook his head. Everything was happening too fast, too intense. He awkwardly dumped the remains of the bowl in the trash before he went to the bathroom to find a bandaid. 

Of course, an apartment housing three young men wouldn’t have anything remotely useful, and he cursed whoever had gone shopping last for not buying any bandages. As a last resort, Jisung reluctantly padded over to the hyung’s apartment and knocked on the door, cradling his injured hand. He knew that it was likely that everyone was home by now, and he was right. Chan answered the door and immediately freaked out.

“Jisung? Are you okay?! Oh my god WOOJIN COME HERE,” Chan fanned himself, pulling Jisung in the door and shutting it behind him.

“Hyung, I’m fine, it’s just a little cut. I just want to know if you have a bandaid--”

“Ji? Oh my gosh, come here,” Woojin interrupted him, and beckoned him into the bathroom. Of course they had bandages, because they were normal adults who are actually responsible. As Woojin began to clean the cut, Minho appeared from nowhere. 

“Ji, what the hell is this? You were gone for an hour and you already hurt yourself this bad?” He said, frowning and inspecting his finger over Woojin’s shoulder.

“Guys, seriously it’s not that bad. I broke a bowl and was going to pick up the pieces and one of them cut me. No big deal, I promise,” Jisung assured his hyungs, but was met with three disbelieving faces. One of which looked very worried.

“Wait, have you been crying?” Minho said softly. Jisung inhaled quickly. He hadn’t even taken the time to fix himself before he came here. He looked into the mirror and was met with red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes and tear stains down his face. 

“Oh, I uh,” Jisung began to stutter out, trying to come up with something that he would have been crying about, but his mind came up blank. 

“Was it a coughing fit?” Minho sounded a little frantic. 

“Uh...yeah,” Jisung finally relented, but shrugged. “I just had a pretty bad one. It’s all right, I’m fine now.”

“Han Jisung…” Woojin warned, and Jisung winced. Woojin never called him by his full name. He should have come up with a lie, now Woojin would never let this go. “Have you been to the hospital yet?” 

“Yeah, I went a few days ago, they said I had to just tough it out,” Jisung tried not to feel guilty as his web of lies spread further, but he didn’t want Woojin to worry. Unfortunately, it became apparent that Woojin would worry no matter what he said. 

“I don’t care what that doctor said. I’m taking you to a different one. Tomorrow.” Woojin finished wrapping the bandaid and slapped the bathroom counter with finality. 

“Woojin-hyung…” Jisung attempted to get out of it, but couldn’t even get out a full sentence. 

“Don’t ‘Woojin-hyung’ me, we’re going to a doctor and that’s final.”

“HYUNG.” Jisung raised his voice. He wasn’t going to the hospital, not when he already knew what was wrong with him. They’d force him to stay in the hospital, stick him with needles and give him therapy. Therapy was not his friend. 

Jisung had decided to distance himself, well now was the time, apparently.

“Listen. You guys are so _suffocating,_ I’m fine. Can you please just drop it?” Jisung said, coating his voice with poison. He didn’t want to be mean to the people who had only ever been nice to him, but he had to. This is the only way that he could get them to leave him alone.

“Jisung.” Woojin said, his voice tight with anger. “We are worried because you’re clearly in pain. Why would you want to keep suffering when you could get better?” 

“I’m not in pain! I’m fine!” Jisung’s voice was nearing hysterics as he lied left and right. “Listen. Thanks for the bandaid. I’ll be going now.” 

He rushed out of the room, ignoring the calls from behind him. He jogged past his door, not bothering to grab anything before he jogged down the stairs. He knew that if he waited for the elevator, someone would follow him and realize he wasn’t going back to the apartment. 

He had to slow down, as his weakened body couldn’t handle running. He walked as fast as he could handle, which un surprisingly wasn’t very fast. He had no idea how he’d even managed to jog down the stairs when he felt like he did now, as if he could collapse any second. He pushed through the fatigue and eventually found himself outside of campus. He looked around and saw a restaurant that had outdoor seating, sinking into the chair like it was the most comfortable thing that had ever happened to him. 

He was breathing heavily, and he cursed as he began to cough. At first, he tried to hold in the petals, but after a while, he had nowhere else to put them. Glancing around and seeing nobody but the employee at the restaurant, he let the petals fall. He coughed for what felt like an eternity, and the poor waitress just stared at him in horror. 

The petals around him fell until there was a decently sized pile at his feet. Jisung kicked them weakly, and a cloud of petals floated back down to the ground like they were mocking him. He sighed and placed his cheek on the cool glass of the table he’d sat at. 

He hated what he had done. Not only had he yelled at his hyung, but it had been right after he helped him. Then he’d run off, most likely worrying the hell out of Chan at the very least. 

He was doing this for Minho. If he let them find out about his disease, they’d just have to suffer with him. The best solution would be to move away and die back home, but he couldn’t do that. That way his adoptive mother would worry so much that _she’d_ die, and then he’d have that on his conscience as well. 

 

\------------

 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in that position, his cheek on the cool table with his hands draped limply over his knees, but when he finally hauled himself up, nobody was around. Even the waitress had disappeared. He began to slowly make his way back home. He hadn’t had time to take anything from his apartment when he was running away, so he had nothing. Not even his phone to check the time, nor a wallet to take a taxi home, as the walk back was seeming a lot more daunting now that he didn’t have the adrenaline from an argument. 

He sighed, but began his way home.

It was slow going, especially since he was tired from his impromptu run. It got worse the closer he got to the dorm, and he was forced to hold himself up with the outside walls from buildings before he finally made it back. 

Woojin and Minho were waiting on the front steps of their apartment building, and Jisung winced. He had hoped that they would just get the message and go to sleep, but of course they’d waited up for him. 

He approached them slowly with his chin raised high, trying to look like he wasn’t about to faint.

“Oh, Ji, thank god,” Minho called when he finally spotted the boy. He ran over and pulled the smaller boy into a hug, wrapping his arms around him as if he’d run away, which, from experience, wasn’t unlikely. “We were so worried.”

Woojin stood slowly and walked over to them, clearly trying to stay calm. 

“Okay. I’m sorry you think we’re suffocating,” Woojin started, hesitantly. “But look at you! You’re about to collapse right here, and you say you’re fine.” 

Jisung started to protest but was cut off. 

“I don’t know what your problem is, physically or mentally, but you’re staying with us for a while. I can’t force you to go to a doctor, but I will force you to stay with us. Don’t try to argue,” Woojin turned around and stalked to the door of the apartment building. 

Minho released him slowly, and looked at him apologetically. “I know you’re mad and I’m sorry, but I don’t want Woojin mad at me too, so I’m going to have to bring you back to our dorm.” Minho took hold of Jisung’s wrist gently and pulled his arm over his head, supporting him. Jisung didn’t have the strength to pull away, nor argue, and so he let the elder boy bring him to the dorm that he had to get out of as soon as possible...as soon as he got some sleep, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo yall I uploaded this in Rome! Follow me on insta to scream at me about SKZ or this fic or whatever, it'd make my day.
> 
> Also yall keep up because there are only a few chapters left to go so get hype. 
> 
> Next update: 3-30-2019


	15. In Which...Shit Finally Goes Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready to hate me

Jisung awoke to the sounds of arguing in the kitchen. It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t in his own room, but he quickly realized whose room it was when he smelled the familiar cologne on the blanket. He sat up and groaned. His head was throbbing and he felt like he’d been hit by a truck with how sore his muscles were. 

Surprisingly, Jisung had never been in Minho’s room before, so he took a moment to take in his surroundings. The most telltale Minho-like thing was the messy desk, decorated with several medals and trophies from dance competitions. Jisung smiled fondly: his soulmate really was doing what he loved and he was good at it. 

Remembering what had happened last night, Jisung let out a tense breath. Not only would he have to leave as soon as possible, but he also had to find somewhere to stay where the others couldn’t find him. Jisung knew that he was getting close to the end, as he’d been getting progressively weaker and skinnier, and the coughing fits had been getting bloodier. He looked like he was on the verge of death because he was. 

A knock on the door interrupted him from his inner unrest, and he cleared his throat before answering with a higher than usual pitched “yes?”

The door opened slowly and Changbin came in, covering his eyes. “Are you decent?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m dressed Binnie hyung,” Jisung scoffed, and Changbin uncovered his eyes. Jisung didn’t miss the quick flash of disbelief and concern at Jisung’s state before it was quickly replaced with a neutral face. 

“Woojin and Chan hyung made breakfast, enough for all of us, they asked me to come to get you,” He explained, and Jisung just nodded. He pushed Minho’s blanket off of himself and followed Changbin to the kitchen, where Chan, Woojin, Felix, and Hyunjin were already seated at the table. Jisung looked around for Minho, only to catch a glimpse of him through the door to the living room, still sleeping on the couch. 

“Did he have to sleep on the couch?” Jisung whined, not wanting his soulmate to be uncomfortable. 

“He insisted,” Woojin explained, dishing out some rice and stew for him. “We wanted you to sleep in our room again, but he wouldn’t let you, and he took the couch so you’d be comfortable.” 

Jisung scrunched his eyebrows together. He had to leave soon. He couldn’t let anyone be hurt anymore because of him. Maybe sleeping on the couch wasn’t that big of a deal, but it was just one inconvenience of many that he’d caused. 

The rest of breakfast was punctuated with casual conversation as Jisung diverted any questions about his sickness to some other topic, insisting he’d go to the doctor today. He almost let out a cheer as he got a text from Jaebum, setting up a meeting with the JYP staff for his orientation at the company. He would be able to get away with this excuse.

“Guys! I just got a text from Jaebum hyung from JJ Project, he’s asking me to come in for a meeting today!” Jisung exclaimed. 

“You met JJ Project?!” Hyunjin practically yelled. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I met them at the DAY6 concert, and they offered me an internship at JYP,” Jisung said, sheepish.

“So, you like, _know_ Jinyoung?” Hyunjin couldn’t hide the awe and excitement in his voice, and Jisung just nodded. “I can’t BELIEVE you didn’t think to tell me this?? You know how obsessed I am with Jinyoung!” 

“Sorry, Jinnie, I just forgot about it for a while,” Jisung said nonchalantly. 

“FORGOT?? HOW?!?” Hyunjin screeched, playfully hitting Jisung’s shoulder. 

“I’ll let you come meet them sometime, will that make up for it?” Jisung told his first empty promise.

“Um, obviously,” Hyunjin said, blushing. “Oh my god, I need to think of an outfit to wear when I meet them. I never thought this would happen, I might faint.” Changbin and Felix patted Hyunjin on the back soothingly, not too concerned about his minor meltdown.

“But anyway, I’m going to the JYP headquarters today and I’ll stop by the hospital on the way back,” Jisung explained. A plan was beginning to form in his head. He’d go to the JYP meeting, then find a hotel to rent a room for a few days, or however long it took. Jisung’s chest suddenly tightened and he abruptly excused himself to the bathroom.

It wouldn’t take long at all. This coughing fit was one of the worst. The blood from one of the worse coughs splattered on the seat of the toilet, and Jisung wiped it off weakly with a kleenex. The evidence was soon covered by a plethora of flowers, and Jisung could finally breathe. 

He was shaken, and it took him several more minutes to compose himself enough to clean the blood off of his lips and anywhere else it had gotten. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands of the blood that was there, as well. 

Coming out of the bathroom, there was a tense silence over the room. Minho had finally woken up and had joined the table, but he looked just as sour as everyone else. Jisung cleared his throat, then winced at the pain it caused. As he sat back down at the table, Hyunjin and Felix attempted to start some kind of conversation. It was weak, but it distracted everyone else. 

After about five minutes of the meaningless chatting, Jisung excused himself, thanking Woojin for the meal. 

“Wait, Ji, I’ll go with you,” Chan offered.

“No, it’s okay hyung I can make it, and I promise I’ll go to the doctor right after, okay?” Jisung declined.

“Ji. You have to swear,” Minho looked up from the food he’d been picking at with fiery eyes looking directly into Jisung’s. Jisung was taken aback for a moment. 

“Sure, Minho hyung,” Jisung answered dismissively and turned to leave when a hand on his wrist stopped him. He turned and Minho looked desperate. 

“Jisung. Swear to me. Make it mean something,” Minho’s voice was the most serious Jisung had ever heard it.

“I swear on…” Jisung looked around. “On my mother’s grave.” He swallowed, his saliva thick in his throat. He’d just sworn to do something he would never be able to complete, and he turned, pulling himself reluctantly out of Minho’s grasp. As soon as the hand around his wrist was gone, it took all of Jisung’s willpower not to turn and fall into the elder’s arms, but he steeled himself and left the apartment. He had to do this, for Minho’s sake, and for all his friends who had ever felt burdened by him. He couldn’t let them deal with how fragile he was, not when they deserved so much better.

Was he being selfish? Or was it selfless? He couldn’t tell, but all he wanted was for Minho to be happy, for his friends to be happy. He pushed the door to his own apartment open. He looked around at the mess that was the kitchen. The counters were covered in clean dishes that nobody ever put away because that was just an extra step. Why put them away if you were just going to use them again tomorrow? Jisung smiled fondly and walked into the living room. 

The old futon they had instead of a couch was already beginning to fall apart. There were three distinct spots where the back was beginning to splinter, where each of the boys usually sat. Of course, Hyunjin usually sprawled over both him and Felix and forced them to cuddle with him, so the two spots on either end were closer to breaking since they usually bore more weight than the center. Jisung went over to the TV that was still on, turning it off. He folded the blanket that was strewn over the futon and placed it carefully over the back.

Then he went to his own room. It was very messy, there were crumpled pieces of paper surrounding the trash can as if he’d tried to throw them in and missed every single time, but never cleaned them up. He knelt to the ground and cleaned them up. Next, he made his bed, then straightened his desk. He even sprayed the room with febreeze and wrote what would have been next week’s schedule on his calendar. On today’s date, he wrote ‘JYP Meeting’, and circled it several times. He looked around at his handiwork, already exhausted just from that.

Jisung sank into his desk chair, resting his elbows on the desk and fisting his hands into his caramel-colored hair. He looked at the music journal he’d left open on top of his desk, and made a snap decision.

His voice was hoarse and it would sound terrible, but he decided to record the melody for the song he’d written the night before.

\---

An hour later, he’d finally recorded the song successfully in one take. He glanced at the time on his phone and his eyes widened. He had to be at the JYP building in twenty minutes, and it took about half an hour to get there by public transportation. He looked up the number for a taxi company on his phone, calling as he got dressed in his nicest clothes. The taxi would be here soon, so Jisung covered the bags under his eyes with concealer as usual. He looked almost normal, so he grabbed his wallet and rushed out of the room, not noticing a curious pair of eyes from the other side of the hallway. 

The taxi thankfully only took fifteen minutes to get to the JYP building, and he was five minutes early to his meeting but was escorted in immediately. The meeting room was small, and Jaebum and Jinyoung were sitting there as well as two other strangers. 

“Ah, Jisung-ssi,” Jinyoung was the first to notice Jisung’s presence, at which the remaining three stood, and the two strangers introduced themselves as the leaders of the intern program. 

“We’re very excited to have someone as talented as you on our intern team this year. We hope that you will come to work with us once your studies come to a close,” One of the leaders said, sitting down. Jisung followed suit and sat down as well. 

“Yes, and until then, the guidance at JYP will give you valuable experience within the industry,” the other continued. “You’re very lucky to have this opportunity.” Jisung nodded, his heart breaking just a little. For a moment, he wondered what would have happened if he never met Chan in that stairwell on the first day, if he would have ever met Minho. Maybe things would have played out differently. He brushed those thoughts off. He was doing what was best for Minho by not telling him. Jisung was not enough for Minho.

_“If I ever meet my soulmate, they’re gonna be perfect, so they’d better know not to hold up a line like that,” Minho said, huffing. Chan laughed._

_“What a weird thing to want in a soulmate,” Woojin said bemusedly. “Well, whatever works for you, man.”_

_“They’re gonna be perfect. I’m sure of it.” Minho murmured._

He could never be enough for Minho. 

“So, we’ll start you working on weekends, how about starting next weekend?” One of the leaders said, snapping Jisung out of his thoughts. 

“Yes, of course. What will my duties be?” Jisung said, trying to hide how long he had forgotten to pay attention. 

“You’ll be assisting with the translation of the idol’s videos mostly, but other than that we may need you for any number of things: helping out at an M/V shoot, running errands for our producers, and maybe even helping to mix a few songs are some examples.” The other leader answered. Jisung nodded thoughtfully. 

“Well, all we have left for you to do is some paperwork confirming your commitment to employment and privacy agreements on the idols’ work,” One of the leaders said, maybe his name was Woohyun? They all stood up but Jaebum spoke up.

“Woohyun, we’d be happy to take Jisung-ssi to the office, just so we can catch up,” the elder said, and Jisung almost blushed. Jaebum of JJ Project wanted to catch up with him?? Why oh why did this opportunity fall into his lap now of all times?

“Of course,” Woohyun said, excusing himself as the other leader followed.

“Hey, so are you excited to work here?” Jinyoung was the first to speak.

“So so SO excited,” Jisung spluttered out, leaning back in his chair in disbelief, and the two elder boys chuckled. “I can’t believe you guys found ME.” 

“Well, we were tasked with finding talented young people that the company could mentor, so we asked Jae, and he told us about you,” Jaebum explained. “You deserved this anyway.” 

Jisung suddenly felt lightheaded. He didn’t deserve this opportunity, he was going to be gone soon anyway. He probably wouldn’t even make it to the first day of work next weekend. His chest became impossibly tight and he couldn’t breathe--no, no, not now! Jisung stood and looked around frantically for a bathroom, but he nearly fainted just from standing. 

“Where’s your nearest--” He began to croak out but was interrupted by a violent and uncontrollable cough. Time seemed to slow down as the petals floated unencumbered from his lungs. He wanted to run, to hide, to find some way to explain this away, but he couldn’t even move. He knelt to his knees, unable to remain standing through the fit. In between coughs, he sobbed breathlessly, and hot tears streamed down his face. He opened his eyes long enough to see the petals coated completely in blood. He weakly reached out to brush them into a pile but was interrupted again by more coughing. 

“Jisung!” He heard vaguely, but it was so difficult to hear anything through the ringing in his ears. “Are you--” The ringing intensified and he couldn’t hear the rest. A hand on his back, he couldn’t tell whose. A wet drop on his pants made him reach to his nose, which was now bleeding profusely. He tried to stand, to do anything, but he was too weak. That was the last thing he saw before everything went black. 

\----

Chan and Minho paced outside of the JYP building. They had decided to hold Jisung to his promise and make sure he went to the doctor, but he’d been in the meeting for a while. Chan was freaking out.

“What if he had another coughing fit? In the middle of the meeting?” He spiraled, worried out of his mind. “Why wouldn’t he just go to the doctor’s earlier, why did he suffer for so long?” 

“Chan,” Minho started, and Chan looked up from his pacing. Minho ignored the sense of dread that had settled in his chest to say: “I’m sure he’s fine, it’s a meeting, it’s bound to take a while.” 

Just then, an ambulance pulled up to the building, sirens blaring. Chan’s eyes widened, but he reined himself in. 

“No, it’s not for him, he’s fine,” Chan murmured to himself. “He’s not that bad, it’s just a bad cough, he’ll be okay.” 

Regardless, the two men watched tensely as a few emergency workers carried a stretcher into the building. They didn’t exchange any words for several minutes, and when the door finally opened again, they stood, trying to get a view of the person being brought to the ambulance. 

Chan’s heart dropped as he saw the very thing he had been looking for. There on the stretcher was Jisung, but he looked even worse than he had that morning. The lower half of his face was covered in blood and there was a flower petal stuck to his lower lip. Chan tried to breathe, but all that he could accomplish was a shaky sob. He rushed forward but was pushed away by the emergency workers. 

“Jisung…” He whispered, and he sank to his knees as he watched the ambulance drive away. The sound of running footsteps behind him snapped him out of his trance. Two men looked very worried, and one of them was on the phone, shouting something into it frantically. Something in Chan recognized them, but he was too desperate to really remember who they were. 

“Are you Jisung’s family?” The one that was not on the phone asked and Chan simply nodded. “Thank God, he’s heading to Soonchunhyang Hospital right now.” 

Minho had been completely silent this whole time. He’d tensed up when Jisung was walked by on the stretcher and hadn’t moved a muscle since. His eyes were frozen in a facade of horror.

“Minho, come on, you have to drive us to the hospital,” Chan shook him, and Minho finally thawed. Minho didn’t say anything but took his keys out from his pocket. 

The drive to the hospital was tense and the car was completely silent save for Chan’s strained utterances of the directions to the hospital. Minho’s grip on the steering wheel was so tight that his knuckles were white. Minho parked at the entrance to the emergency room, and Chan got out. 

“Minho, come on!” Chan yelled, but Minho just croaked: “I--I need a minute.” Chan didn’t argue and just ran into the hospital. 

Minho stared at the steering wheel for several minutes. He squeezed his eyes shut but had to open them, as the image of Jisung’s weak and bloody body flashed before his eyes. He took his shaking hands off of the steering wheel and pulled out his phone, dialing Woojin. 

The ringtone barely had any time to sound, before the phone was picked up. 

“Hello?” Woojin said, sounding slightly concerned. Minho didn’t usually call him. 

“Hyung. Please. Soonchunhyang Hospital. Something-” Minho’s voice broke. “Something’s wrong with Jisung.” 

“I’m on my way,” Woojin’s voice hardened and Minho could already hear rustling in the background before the line went dead. Minho pulled the phone away from his ear shakily. Now he had to go find Chan. He robotically exited the car and locked it. He couldn’t even run if he tried. He could still see Jisung, so small on the stretcher, his eyebrows crinkled in pain. 

It took him several minutes to find Chan, who was sitting in the waiting room, nervously bouncing his knee and wringing his hands. He sat beside him, a wordless question on the tip of his tongue. 

“I haven’t heard anything yet--” Chan said, but was interrupted by a nurse calling out Jisung’s name. The two sprang up and headed straight to him. 

“Family of Han Jisung?” He asked, and the two both nodded. “He’s stable already. He’s currently resting, but he’s allowed visitors.” Chan let out a breath. 

“What--” Minho paused, “What’s wrong with him?”

“You didn’t know?” The nurse looked genuinely surprised. “Jisung has late-stage Hanahaki.” Minho didn’t think he could feel any more empty, but that made him completely dissociate.

“No, I didn’t know,” he said, his words remaining unnervingly even. Hanahaki was rare- it had only happened a few times in the last fifty years. Of course, he wouldn’t recognize the symptoms, but that didn’t stop him from blaming himself. How did he not notice this?? The nurse had said it was late stage, so how--

Chan broke him from his thoughts and pulled him in the direction of what he assumed would be Jisung’s room. Minho followed limply, unable to focus on where he put his feet. 

When Chan finally stopped, he looked up to see they were standing in front of a hospital bed, and the tiny body that was under the blanket was Jisung. He was no longer covered in blood, but he was very pale, and he wore an oxygen mask. Minho shook his head. No. NO. He backed out of the room and left Chan at Jisung’s bedside. He ran.

Jisung had always been peppy. Awkward, sure, but Minho had always found him charming, even when he was so loud that the entire apartment building could hear him. Facing Jisung in this state was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He couldn’t bear to see him so weak and vulnerable.

He wasn’t sure where he was going but it was as far away from Jisung as he could get.

\-----

Jisung awoke in pain, which wouldn’t be that unusual, but this time the sheets against his skin were rough, and when he opened his eyes he was almost blinded by how bright the room was. He sat up but had to hold onto his head as he realized the splitting headache he had. He also realized he had on an oxygen mask, and he pulled it off his head. 

“Ji!” A hoarse voice called from the side of the bed. “You’re awake!”

Chan pressed a button on the side of the hospital bed and Jisung just looked around him. In the corner of his room, there was a couch, and Jeongin and Seungmin were sleeping there. Seungmin had Jeongin’s hand pulled close to his heart, and both of their eyes were puffy. Woojin and Chan were sitting in chairs right next to the bed, and they looked like they hadn’t slept in days. 

“What happened?” Jisung uttered huskily, ignoring the pain in his throat.

“You...you collapsed at the meeting at the JYP building from a coughing fit,” Chan explained, his own voice quite hoarse. 

“I-damn it,” Jisung realized that his secret was out, but his curse just left a look of hurt on Woojin and Chan’s faces. 

“Ji, why didn’t you tell us you had Hanahaki?” Chan’s look was guarded, and Jisung scrambled to find an excuse.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” He whispered, truthful in the end. 

“So what were you going to do?” Woojin’s voice was rigid, and he looked down at his hands. 

Jisung stayed silent. They knew that he had never planned to tell them if he was already this late in the disease. A strained moment of silence passed between them. Just then, a nurse came into the room, responding to Chan’s call. 

“Ah, Mr. Han, you’re awake,” The nurse said, and Jisung cleared his throat, nodding. “How are you feeling?” 

“Not so good,” Jisung said truthfully, and the nurse nodded understandingly, coming to check his vitals and make sure his IV drip was functioning properly. 

A stir from the corner caught his eye, and he saw Seungmin jostle awake from the noises, which then awoke Jeongin, who both looked at him with sadness behind their eyes.

“Jisungie hyung,” Jeongin said, his voice tiny. He stood, and Seungmin followed suit. They stood on the opposite side of the bed from the nurse, who had left the room. “Hyung, we’re so sorry,” Jeongin whispered, and Jisung shook his head.

“What would you have to be sorry for?” Jisung whispered back. “This is all on me.” 

“No, it’s not,” Seungmin interrupted. “It’s on your soulmate, whoever they are, for rejecting you.” Jisung tensed, and so did everyone else. He knew this moment would be coming. When they asked who his soulmate was. Seungmin continued after a small pause. “We’re just sorry we didn’t notice earlier.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” Jisung insisted, with no explanation. He didn’t want to be berated for purposefully hiding the hanahaki, so instead, he just kept quiet about it.

Just then the door opened again, and a doctor walked into the room. She flipped through her chart before walking to the side of his bed. Jeongin and Seungmin retreated back to the couch.

“Mr. Han, nurse Choi said you were awake, how do you feel?” The doctor said in a professional voice. 

“Pretty terrible,” He managed to chuckle, then regretted it as his chest radiated pain. 

“Yes, well that is understandable this late in the Hanahaki, and since you were recuperating for three days.” the doctor made some notes on her chart. “The first question I have for you is about your soulmate. The most viable options for your recovery are constant contact with your soulmate and joint therapy.” 

“I--” Jisung glanced at everyone around him, and shook his head decidedly. “I can’t tell you. He’s better off not knowing.”

The doctor looked disappointed. “Unfortunately there’s not enough research on Hanahaki since it’s so rare. By not disclosing your soulmate, you will most likely be resigning yourself to-” The doctor looked at him in pity. “Well, to not recovering.” Jisung just nodded, and the doctor sighed. “Just know that as a medical professional, I highly recommend you reveal the disease to your soulmate.” She sighed and left the room. 

Woojin didn’t say anything, but he abruptly stood and stalked out of the room as well. Chan looked at Jisung with that dreaded pity in his eyes and followed Woojin, entrusting Jisung to Seungmin and Jeongin, who replaced the elder in the chairs next to the bed. 

“So, how’s school?” Jisung asked, and Jeongin jumped at the chance to talk about anything but his hyung’s pathetic state. 

“Boring without you. I missed having Felix to help me with English, and I just missed Hyunjin,” Jeongin said, and Jisung smiled at his dongsaeng fondly while he rambled off a few details about what had happened in the last few weeks. 

The three of them caught up for around fifteen minutes before the door opened, and Hyunjin, Changbin, and Felix filed into the room. 

“Jisungie, we came as soon as we heard you were awake. We were getting food,” Hyunjin said, running over to Jisung and hugging him gently. Felix followed suit, also leaning down to hug Jisung even in his fragile state. Changbin patted Jisung on the shoulder, a look of sadness trapped in his eyes. 

\---

A few hours later, and Chan and Woojin still hadn’t returned. Jisung kept hearing the door open and expecting Minho to walk in, but he never did. Jisung assumed he had other things to deal with, but by the end of the day, he had almost given up. 

Somehow he ended up in the sickly sweet smelling hospital room with Felix alone. A nurse came in with a few cups of jello and offered them to Jisung. He forced himself to eat two of them, with help from Felix, but he almost couldn’t do it.

Jisung was surprised that he hadn’t had a coughing fit that day. Maybe being in the hospital had helped him more than he anticipated. With Felix sitting in the chair next to him, his hand gently stroking Jisung’s hair absentmindedly, Felix began to drift into sleep.

_He dreamed of Minho for once. Not the bad ones where his father’s words came from the mouth of what looked like Minho, but real dreams. Dreams were Minho stroked his forehead and looked at him lovingly. Dreams where they kissed and Jisung could finally feel his emotions._

-

“ _Minho_ …” Felix heard Jisung whisper in his sleep. “ _Visit...please.”_

Felix looked at his watch. It was already 9PM, and Minho hadn’t been here all day. Felix had thought that maybe today would be the day Minho finally came to the hospital. Chan had tried to convince him to come every day, but Minho had insisted he couldn’t see Jisung like that. 

To be honest, everyone was a little peeved that Minho wouldn’t come to see him. Sure, he looked like--Felix stopped himself before he could think the word--he looked terrible, but that didn’t mean that Minho couldn’t visit him. Was he really that squeamish? Felix decided to call him, and left the room reluctantly, making sure Jisung was asleep. 

Minho answered after only one ring, his voice breathless. “Hello?”

“Minho-hyung, hey. I thought you’d want to know that Jisung woke up today, if you didn’t already know,” Felix tried to keep his voice poison-free, but it was difficult. What kind of friend wouldn’t visit his dying friend in the hospital?

“Oh, okay. How is he?” Minho said, sounding almost relieved. 

“He’s not doing so hot. He hasn’t had a fit yet today, but he’s very weak, and the nurses don’t seem too confident in him living,” Felix bit harshly and Minho was silent for a moment. “He just called your name in his sleep. He misses you,” Felix hung up. He scoffed, then checked a few notifications on his phone. Soon enough though, he was interrupted by a sound he never wanted to hear. A violent cough sounded from the room behind him and he rushed back into the room. 

Jisung was sitting up, coughing forcefully. There was blood again this time, but Felix was frozen. A particularly rough cough caused him to thaw and rush over to Jisung. He pressed the emergency button by the bed and proceeded to help Jisung sit up, rubbing his back, but he could feel that something was wrong. 

This time Jisung couldn’t stop coughing at all. He hadn’t breathed for quite a while and Felix was beginning to panic. He ran into the hallway. 

“Someone help, my friend is choking!” He cried, and caught the attention of some nurses who rushed into the room after him. Felix stared in horror as he saw Jisung pass out. He still couldn’t breathe. 

“I think the petals are stuck in his throat,” Felix whimpered, but he was soon escorted out of the room. He began to sob as he heard the sound of a flatline behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on instagram to yell at me because tbh I even hate myself after this chapter oooooof @stanstraykids99
> 
> Okay but read the tags ᴱᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ʷᶦˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᶠᶦⁿᵉ
> 
> Next update 4-6-2019


	16. In Which Minho Comes Through

“Chan,” Felix said into the phone, his words unsteady. 

“Felix?” Chan sounded frantic.

“He’s having a bad fit, Chan, he passed out and-” Felix’s voice failed him for a moment. “He couldn’t breathe and there was so much blood,” He couldn’t continue, instead letting out a sob. 

“I’m on my way, everyone else is with me,” Chan said, and Felix could hear that he was already running before he hung up. His arm went limp and he let the phone fall from his ear. 

Felix wished he wasn’t alone as he leaned against the wall and sank down to the floor. Hot tears dripped off his nose and he wiped them off angrily. Why wouldn’t the doctors let him stay with Jisung? 

His mind drifted to all the times that Jisung had been there for him throughout the years. The times when he didn’t think he would succeed. The times when he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. The times when he was too overwhelmed to speak and understand Korean in the beginning. Jisung had always been there to help, and now Felix couldn’t be there for him in return.

Sounds of panting and footsteps hitting the ground filtered vaguely into Felix’s ears. He put his head in between his knees, just barely stopping himself from rocking back and forth. The footsteps stopped, and Felix felt a hand on his shoulder. 

Chan was there, his mask of calm barely concealing a look of panic. 

“Chris, they wouldn’t let me stay,” Felix whispered in English. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Chan responded also in English. He took Felix’s hand and hauled him off the ground, pulling him into a hug. Felix tried to stop the tears from falling but he gave up and cried into Chan’s shoulder. Woojin, who had arrived with Chan, patted Felix’s back comfortingly.

Changbin and Hyunjin were close behind, with Seungmin and Jeongin in tow. Changbin rushed over to a nurse that was waiting outside of Jisung’s room. 

“Is there any information about this patient?” He asked, and the nurse shook her head.

“The situation is still unfolding, so I have no information. No visitors will be allowed.” Hyunjin, who was clinging to the back of Changbin’s shirt, let out a whimper. Changbin nodded reluctantly and pulled Hyunjin into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to move to a waiting room so you don’t crowd the hallway,” The nurse Changbin had spoken to directed softly and guided them to the nearest waiting room. “I’ll bring news as soon as anything develops,” she said, her eyes filled with pity. 

“You promise?” Jeongin choked out, and the nurse nodded sympathetically. She left, and the room was silent save for Felix’s sobs and a few sniffles from Hyunjin. The two were both hugging Changbin tightly, and he was comforting them. 

Jeongin was holding onto Seungmin’s hand so tightly that he must have been losing circulation, but Seungmin didn’t seem to notice. 

“I-I didn’t even get to say goodbye…” Jeongin whispered, and Seungmin turned to him abruptly. 

“It’s not goodbye,” he said, almost angry. “Jisung wouldn’t just give up that quickly. He’s going to be fine.” He took a deep breath. “This is all his stupid soulmate’s fault.”

A hush fell over the room; everyone knew that Seungmin was right. If Jisung’s soulmate, whoever they were, hadn’t rejected him, he would have never gotten this stupid disease. Chan suddenly put his head in his hands, groaning.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” he whispered. “He never coughed in front of us, he’s been distant for weeks, I’m so stupid,” Woojin, though he was clearly also affected, rubbed Chan’s back.

“Channie, it’s not your fault, he was hiding it for whatever reason. and besides, he’s going to be okay. Jisung’s strong,” he said, trying to convince himself.

“What?” A voice came from the doorway, and everyone looked up to see Minho frantically looking back and forth between Chan and Jeongin who were both crying now. “Is Ji okay?” Minho’s voice was desperate. Nobody would make eye contact with him. “ **Tell me,** ” he said forcefully.

“He had a really bad attack. Last Felix heard, he was flatlining,” Changbin answered since nobody else would. The silence after Changbin's statement was tangible.

Minho’s face went blank. “Flat...lining?” He said as if he didn’t understand. “...No.” Before anyone could react, Minho was sprinting out of the room. Woojin’s eyes widened and he followed the younger boy, who was presumably headed to Jisung’s room.

Room 1403. Minho heard the secretary from earlier's voice in his head, and he desperately searched for room 1403. It didn’t take long for him to find it, and when he did, he zeroed in on the door. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he got there, but all he knew was that he needed to see Jisung, to say something. He wasn’t about to let him die.

The nurse from before wasn’t outside the room, but Woojin caught up to Minho before he could barge inside. Woojin didn’t appear to be very strong, but he was able to hold Minho back.

“We can’t go in there, we might distract them,” he said, gritting his teeth while Minho struggled to escape his grasp. Woojin was losing his grip on Minho's wrists, but he was shaken by a thought he had. Why was he stopping Minho when they all wanted to see him anyway?

“Sungie!” Minho howled, and his voice echoed through the hallway. “You can’t leave me, not like this!” Minho finally escaped Woojin’s grasp and flung the door open. He was met with a sight he would never forget. Jisung lay on the hospital bed, looking more haggard than ever. He was surrounded by bloody flower petals, and it was clear that he wasn’t breathing. A nurse was straddling Jisung on the hospital bed giving him CPR and a doctor stood by his side, charging an AED. 

“Clear!” The doctor called sternly, and the nurse jumped away from Jisung, allowing the doctor to shock Jisung with the AED. Minho felt as if time slowed down at that moment. How long had he not been breathing? How long could someone survive without oxygen? The solid tone of Jisung’s heart monitor echoed in his ears and he fell to his knees. 

_Whoever is listening, I don’t care if you’re real or not, just please, let Jisung live. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I know that’s my fault, but I just couldn’t stand to see him so close to death. He means so much to me, so please, please,_ let Han Jisung live. 

\-----

Jisung wondered if he was dead. There was only blackness, but he would have thought death would be a lot less painful. There was a pain in his head, in his throat, and in his lungs. Not to mention the searing pain in his heart.

He was about to give up, to stop fighting the pain and give in to the blackness when he heard a familiar voice calling for him. 

“Sungie!” The voice yelled. “You can’t leave me, not like this!” 

Jisung frowned. He knew that voice. But who was it?

Why couldn’t he remember? A small feeling inside of him told him that he shouldn’t trust that voice, but he wasn’t sure why. 

Flashes of memories, ones that he couldn’t quite focus on. He only caught a few snippets. Dancing. Watching movies. A tension-charged moment that had never been followed through on.

He ignored the feeling in his chest telling him that the voice didn’t care. Something deep inside him had always wanted to believe that his interpretation of certain events was wrong. And maybe he wasn’t wrong, but if it saved him right now, then maybe, just maybe, he was.

He trusted that voice. If it said he couldn’t give up, then he wouldn’t.

\-----

Someone must have heard Minho’s prayer because as if on cue, Jisung’s heart monitor began to pulse a steady beat again, and Minho looked up at the monitor. He couldn’t believe his eyes: Jisung’s heart had started again, and he was breathing! Tears fell from his eyes and he couldn’t tell if they were from residual panic or from relief. 

The doctor breathed a sigh of relief, gave Jisung a new IV bag, and put his oxygen mask back on. He turned to Woojin and Minho, who was still on his knees, and gave them a scowl. “Never interrupt an emergency operation. There could have been irreversible consequences,” The doctor walked past the two, but patted Minho’s shoulder comfortingly.

The nurse was busy cleaning the bloody petals that surrounded Jisung, but Woojin stepped up to her and softly asked, “Is he okay?”

“The fit did a number on him...we almost lost him there. He lost consciousness and was unable to breathe. His heart stopped and he was legally dead for almost five minutes. Thankfully, Doctor Moon refused to give up,” the nurse explained, while still cleaning the petals. “He’s going to be sleeping for a while, though.”

Minho slowly stood and walked over to Jisung’s side, sitting in the chair that had been occupied by Chan or Felix or whoever needed to be closest to Jisung at that moment. He reached out and stroked Jisung’s cheek, then leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t visit you, I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you when you needed me. And so help me god, I will find your damn soulmate and make sure he regrets everything he ever did,” Minho began in a whisper, but ended on a growl. 

Minho looked at the blood still smeared on Jisung’s lower lip and cheek and winced. He hated seeing the remains of what had almost been Jisung’s death. He disappeared but only for a moment, and returned with a wet towel. Woojin was no longer in the room but Minho assumed he had gone to get the others. 

Minho removed Jisung’s oxygen mask and quickly wiped his mouth clean, putting the mask back on as soon as he was done. Then he gently placed the towel on Jisung’s forehead, dabbing away the sweat that still remained there. 

The nurse was finally done cleaning up the flower petals, and she left quietly, giving Minho some space and time alone.

Minho took that time to finally inspect Jisung. He was skinny, much skinnier than he had been just a few days ago. Most worryingly, he was shivering, and Minho looked around the room. There was an empty bed on the other side of the room, but it only had sheets. Minho cursed but pulled the sheet off anyway, wrapping Jisung in a cocoon of the sheet and the blankets he was already covered by, but he still wouldn’t stop shivering. Minho frowned, and leaned forward, giving the boy a hug. It was awkward because Jisung was laying down and Minho refused to move him in the slightest, but he soon stopped shivering. 

Minho sighed and gently stroked one of Jisung’s hands. Their friendship had been short, but it had really helped him. Once he’d been fired from his job, he spent a lot of his time hanging out with Jisung. They’d watched many movies together, and somehow they would always start cuddling. Minho missed Jisung hugging him back, and he missed the weird conversations they would always have late at night. He missed being the only one who could understand Jisung sometimes, like he was special.

It had only been a few minutes since Minho laid down, but somehow, he was exhausted. He managed to fall asleep with his arm draped over Jisung’s sleeping form.

\---  
Soon there was the sound of many footsteps outside the door, but Minho was unbothered.

“JISUNGIE!” Felix whisper-screamed, and flung himself to the boy’s side. He was followed closely by Hyunjin, and the others surrounded Jisung but didn’t touch him, as if they were afraid he might break. 

“Thanks for filling us in on the situation, Woojin,” Chan whispered and squeezed his soulmates hand. The look in his eyes wasn’t one of dread, but there was still something bothering him in the back of his mind. In fact, everybody looked as such.

Minho looked so peaceful, one arm curled over his chest and the other resting just above Jisung’s heart. His fingers curled gently into a resting position and Hyunjin smiled fondly, a tinge of sadness still behind his eyes. He covered the older boy's lower half with his jacket and glanced to Jisung’s face, swallowing the lump in his throat.

\----

Minho wasn’t sure what time he woke up, but when he did, he glanced around the hospital room. The only people who weren’t there were Jeongin and Seungmin, who likely had to head home when night had fallen. 

Jisung was still asleep, otherwise, they would have been hiding their emotions and therefore been harder to read, but Minho could tell how tense everyone still was.

“I’m going to go back to the dorms,” He announced suddenly, sitting up. He noticed that Jisung started to shiver almost as soon as they parted and he winced. 

“You what?” Woojin asked, his voice deceptively level. 

“I’m going back to the dorms,” He repeated, tearing his eyes away from Jisung’s feeble form. Woojin furrowed his brows.

“You came back just in time to see Jisung almost die, and you want to go back to the dorms at a time like this?” Woojin was having a hard time not screaming, and Chan held onto his arm for dear life. 

“Listen.” Minho’s face was full of an intensity that none of the others had ever seen before. He walked up to Woojin and looked him straight in the eyes. “I’m going to Jisung’s room, and I’m going to find out who his fucking soulmate is, and I’m going to make sure that they come here and save Jisung because I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell can’t live without him.”

Nobody spoke, and Minho moved to leave. 

“Oh, and get him more blankets. He’s freezing,” He said, giving Jisung a look of concern before storming out of the room.

A pair of footsteps behind him made him turn around, furious that someone would dare try to stop him but was surprised to see Felix padding after him instead. 

“Lix?” Minho asked, confused. 

“I’m going with you,” he said, his voice still wobbly, but he stood his ground. 

“You are?” 

“Listen, Jisung’s only been here for a year and a half, but he’s been there for all of us in his own way. He’s one of the kindest people I know, and some of us don’t show it enough, but we really love him. I know you have some sort of weird chemistry with him, but he’s been my friend for longer, and I’m not about to let him die either.” Felix paused in the middle of his monologue. “Plus how are you going to get into our flat if it’s locked and we’re all here?”

Minho looked at Felix incredulously, before beckoning him and heading to his car. Felix was almost surprised by how easily Minho agreed but jogged to catch up to him anyway. 

“You know, I think that’s the longest sentence I’ve ever heard you speak in Korean,” Minho chuckled when Felix caught up to him and matched his stride, with a little bit of difficulty. He didn’t respond to Minho since he wasn’t exactly in the mood for jokes.

Being October, it was chilly. The crisp fall air made Felix shiver and he pulled his thin jacket tighter around his body. Minho’s car had been precariously parked in what Felix was pretty sure was a loading zone, but he didn’t say anything as he slid into the passenger seat and Minho into the driver’s.

“So, who do we know that Jisung has met since the beginning of the year?” Minho asked seriously while starting the car. 

“I mean, Chan, Woojin, Changbin, and you obviously,” Felix said, scratching his head. “But that doesn’t make sense. It has to be someone else. Maybe...Jae? He’s the only person I know of that Jisung was friends with since the beginning of the year besides us.” 

“Okay, then Jae is suspect number one,” Minho practically purred, and Felix widened his eyes. 

“Wait wait, we’re going to his room, first, right? Not to Jae?” He looked at Minho expectantly, and the elder sighed. 

“Fine, we’ll check his room, but if we don’t find anything, then I’m marching straight up to Jae and giving him a piece of my mind,” he answered reluctantly.

The car ride, though it was short, was tense, and Felix was uncomfortable. He remembered that he’d been the one to snap at Minho this morning for not visiting Jisung in the hospital.

“Look,” Felix started nervously. “I’m sorry I snapped at you on the phone earlier and hung up.” He gave Minho a sideways glance. “I was just...stressed...for obvious reasons. And I know that you mean a lot to Jisung, so I was mad that you didn’t seem to care AT THE TIME.” 

Felix raised his voice defensively when Minho gave him a poisonous stare. He broke the stare as his eyes softened and he looked back at the road.

“I did care,” he whispered. “I cared too much,”

Felix looked confusedly at Minho but didn’t pry anymore. 

They soon arrived at their dorms, and the two got out of the car and up to the fifth floor in record time. Felix managed to open the door to their apartment despite his shaking hands. 

The two boys paused before entering Jisung’s room, glancing at each other with anticipation and worry. Felix was the one to push the door open, and Minho followed meekly. 

Jisung’s room was neat, which Minho hadn’t expected. He’d only been in this room once, and it was only for a moment. At the time, it had been very messy. There were clothes everywhere, the bed was unmade, and Minho couldn’t even see the desk under all the clutter.

Today it was different. Not only were there no dirty clothes on the floor, but there weren’t any dirty clothes at all. The bed was neatly made, and the desk was organized save for Jisung’s laptop, which was still open, and a notebook. It even smelled nice, as if he knew people would be here.

“That’s it,” Minho choked out. “He cleaned it and made it nice as if people would be over. Because he knew that it would be the last time he was in his own room when he left that morning.” 

Felix’s eyes darkened in understanding, and the silence in the room was stifling. Jisung had planned his death. He’d planned to die and not tell a single one of them that he was even _close_ to death. 

Minho felt sick to his stomach. He sat down on the bed and took a deep breath. Felix turned around, diligently looking through the bookshelf but really hiding the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes. 

Minho took a few moments to collect himself before looking for what he needed: information on Jisung’s soulmate. He checked the bedside table first, maybe for a photo or some sort of diary, but came up only with a framed photo of Jisung, Felix, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Seungmin. They looked happy, and Minho realized he hadn’t seen that look of pure happiness in Jisung’s eyes for a long time. He set the photo down and headed to the desk. 

Jisung’s laptop was open and unlocked, so Minho started with that. He looked through his browser history and was not surprised to find many searches on how to cure Hanahaki. But before that, there were some searches that he didn’t understand. 

“Hey Felix, come here. What is “Avid Pro Tools”?” Minho said, pointing to the latest search on the screen. It read “best format to export from Avid Pro Tools”. 

“It’s a song mixing application, Jisung’s favorite,” Felix explained from behind him, glancing over the history and wincing at the older searches. “He always forgets how to export because he’s never satisfied with his songs, so he never finishes them. He didn’t tell me about any projects, though,” Felix frowned, and the two boys had an idea at the same time. Minho looked at Jisung’s most recent files, and sure enough, there was an unnamed file that had been exported the morning of his admittance to the hospital.

Minho took a deep breath and clicked on it.

“Sorry my voice is so scratchy,” Jisung’s voice filtered out from the speakers. “Here’s a song I wrote for my soulmate, but also for my friends.”

Minho thought Jisung’s voice was beautiful, even though it was clear he was struggling to keep it steady. Minho listened to the words of the song, listened to Jisung lamenting his unrequited love but telling his soulmate that this isn’t the end of their story, and to move on for him. 

Felix sniffled behind him. Minho swallowed in order to stop his own tears.

“He wrote this as his last message. But...why isn’t it titled?” Minho asked, clearing his throat.

“That’s a good point, Jisung is very particular about titles to his songs,” Felix frowned. He glanced at the notebook on the table and picked it up, beginning to rifle through it. 

“Wow,” he breathed, and Minho stood, looking at the notebook from behind the shorter boy. “He’s written _so_ many songs.”

They found the few pages of inspiration for A Wonderful Coincidence, the song they’d all collaborated on. Then, as Felix flipped the last page, they finally found the song that they’d just heard. 

At the top of the page, it read: “Hyung, who are they?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo one more chapter and an epilogue left, I am personally pumped to finally bring this story to a close. Follow me on insta to scream at me, it honestly makes my day. @stanstraykids99
> 
> Next update: 4-13-2019


	17. In Which Minho Re-lives Like 3 Months of His Life

“Hyung, who are they?” Minho knew that sounded familiar. When had he last heard that?

_He’d just gotten back from work. He was exhausted, and there had been so many annoying people at the cafe today. All he wanted to do was sit down and have a nice evening where he didn’t have to talk to a single soul. So of course, when he came back to his apartment, it was chock full of people. He’d known Chan was bringing his new freshmen friends over, but he’d expected them to have left by then._

_He entered the living room and glanced around. There were three new people here he didn’t recognize at all. Normally he would have greeted them, but today he just didn’t have the energy. Instead, he just walked over to the couch and plopped down next to Chan. He could have just gone into his room, but he wasn’t so rude as to not say_ anything _to the freshmen._

_“Minho, you’re finally home! How was work?” Chan asked, and Minho shrugged in response. When Chan didn’t introduce his new friends, Minho decided to give him a not-so-subtle hint.“Hyung, who are they?” He whispered._

__Minho shook his head. No, that couldn’t be it, that’s wasn’t possible.

_“If I ever meet my soulmate, they’re gonna be perfect, so they’d better know not to hold up a line like that,” Minho said, huffing. Chan laughed._

_“What a weird thing to want in a soulmate,” Woojin said bemusedly. “Well, whatever works for you, man.”_

_“They’re gonna be perfect. I’m sure of it.” Minho murmured. He had always romanticized the idea of soulmates, but he knew that there would always be problems. He knew, though, that the person that was chosen for him would be perfect for him, even with any flaws they might have._

_“Uh, hey Chan, won’t you introduce us?” The boy who was sitting next to Chan spoke up. Minho examined the boy. He was cute and looked a little bit like a squirrel, his cheeks puffed up as if they had food stored in them. Minho suppressed the urge to smile just seeing the boy exist._

_“Oh, of course!” Chan said, chuckling. “Minho, this is Felix, Hyunjin, and Jisung. I should have told you this as soon as you came in, but Felix and Changbin are soulmates! They just met this evening,” Minho beamed at Chan and listened to him talk about how they met. He couldn’t pay too much attention, though, because the boy behind Chan was very distracting. He looked conflicted and a little bit panicky. Minho had to stop himself from prying and asking what was wrong._

_Suddenly he remembered exactly how exhausted he was, so he decided to head to bed. “Hey, hyung, I’m gonna head to bed. Work was really tiring. It was nice meeting you,” he smiled, inclining his head at Felix, Jisung, and Hyunjin._

_That night, he couldn’t get Jisung’s panicked face out of his mind._

“Felix,” Minho rasped, and the shorter boy looked up at Minho. He was still staring at the page of music that Jisung had written, but he looked terrified.

“Yeah?” Felix whispered back.

“I think...I think it might be me…” 

A moment of silence passed between them. 

“These words. When was the last time you heard them?” Minho prompted, and Felix frowned.

“I don’t know, my memory’s pretty bad…” Felix said, searching Minho’s face which was blank of any expression. 

“It was me. When we first met, those were the first words he ever heard me speak. That night, he looked so confused and panicky. I assumed he was just socially anxious or something, but if me saying this had that much of an impact on him…” Minho trailed off, letting Felix fill in the blanks. 

“Oh my god, Minho, you’re right. We have to get back to the hospital right now,” Felix began to realize exactly what was at stake: Jisung’s life or death, to be frank.

Minho just nodded, pulling his keys from his pocket and already rushing out the door. He clutched the worn notebook to his chest, refusing to let go of it.

The ride down the elevator of their apartment had always taken a while, but Minho swore that it took so much longer when they were in a hurry. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Jisung was his soulmate, and what exactly that meant. 

_“Ah, for this part, your chest should be isolated backwards. You’re using your whole body instead of just the chest.” Minho left his post leaning on the mirror and approached Jisung. “Here,” He put his hand on Jisung’s hip, holding it in place. Minho placed his hand gently on Jisung’s chest and pushed it away, still holding firmly onto Jisung’s hip._

_He knew his heart shouldn’t be beating this fast, but having Jisung so close did something to him that he should probably be ashamed of._

_“Do you feel that?” Minho said in a low voice. He even surprised himself when that voice came from him. Nevertheless, he continued. “How your chest and lower body move separately?”_

_“Yeah,” Jisung whispered, glancing at the elder’s lips. It was probably unconscious, Minho rationalized and stepped back._

_“That’s how you do that move,” Minho said, his voice almost imperceptibly higher than before. “Once you’ve got that down, you’ve got the whole thing.”_

_He made sure to keep his face neutral, but he couldn’t deny that he had felt something. When Jisung turned around to pack his bag, Minho shook himself._

_As far as Minho could tell, he made Jisung uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure why, but Jisung always kept a safe distance between them and generally sounded awkward when they spoke. They’d only known each other for a little while, so Minho was sure that was the reason. Even if what he was feeling was real, and he did like Jisung, he shouldn’t act on it. Something told him that Jisung was very fragile, and he shouldn’t mess with his emotions. So he decided to keep it, whatever it was, to himself._

Why had he been so stupid?

_Jisung stumbled into the room, clearly far too drunk to be anywhere but his room. “Jisung, I really think you need to get to sleep.” A slightly panicked Woojin called after the young boy who just ignored him._

_“‘M fine,” Jisung attempted to sit on the couch but lost his balance and fell over the couch arm, landing splayed over Chan and Minho’s laps. “This is what I meant to do.” Minho smiled down at the young boy in his lap._

_“Ookay, Sungie,” Minho said, beginning to shift. “I agree with Woojin. Let’s get you to bed.”_

_“Whyyyyyy?” Minho tried to shove the drunk boy off of him, as gently as possible. Jisung frowned and clung to the older boy._

_“You’re gonna hurt yourself, now get up,” Minho instructed, and Jisung obediently sat up. A smile grew across the elder’s face but he hid it quickly._

_“Okay Minho why don’t you and I help Jisung get back to bed, it’s already 3 AM, I think it’s time we all crash anyway,” Woojin offered and Minho nodded, wrapping Jisung’s arm around his neck as Woojin had just done._

_“I’m like...not even tired, though,” Jisung insisted, and Minho just rolled his eyes as they helped Jisung all the way back to his room._

_“Stay with him for a second, yeah? I’m gonna get something,” Woojin requested, and left the room. Minho sat next to Jisung, who was curled up on top of his blanket, eyes closed, mumbling some nonsense._

_Minho pulled the younger’s blanket out from under him with difficulty and covered his lower half with it. Woojin returned right at that moment._

_“Hey Sungie, will you do me a huge favor and eat this bread?” Woojin coaxed._

_“WOOOOJINNIEEE,” Jisung whined, “I don’t wanna.”_

_“Please? It’ll make you feel better in the morning,” Woojin waved the bread in front of the young rapper’s face, and Jisung gave in, taking the bread and reluctantly eating it. In between bites, Minho offered the water to him, and he gratefully gulped it down._

_“Okay Sungie, Felix and Hyunjin will be back soon. Drink this water in the morning and take these aspirins, okay? Here’s a trash can in case you need to throw up. If you need us please call.” Minho patted Jisung’s head, giving him an affectionate look. Jisung simply moaned in response, which they took as understanding. The two older boys exited the room, shutting off the light and closing the door. Once the door was closed, Minho sighed heavily._

_“I feel sorry for his soulmate,” he mused, probably louder than was necessary, and the eldest shushed him._

_“I just mean, he’s a handful when he’s drunk,” Minho whispered as they left the apartment._

“God damn it,” Minho said, his hand frozen in front of the ignition. 

“What?” Felix asked agitatedly, and Minho shook his head. He started the car and began to explain. 

“That night we had the party and Jisung was drunk?” His voice broke, and he took a breath before he continued. “I think Jisung heard me joking around with Woojin. I said-- I said I felt sorry for his soulmate.”

Felix didn’t say anything in response. 

“Felix you have to know, I swear I was just kidding, I was just being dumb and now I realize what a fucking dumbass I was--” 

“Save it for Jisung, if he’s still alive,” Felix whispered, and Minho swallowed. He pushed more on the gas, going far faster than the speed limit.

_Months later, after Minho had been fired, he’d been spending more time with Jisung. By now, Jisung seemed to be more comfortable around him, but there was still something in the air, something Minho couldn’t quite place. His feelings had grown stronger, but he knew something was still holding Jisung back from being completely honest with him._

_He’d heard from Chan and Changbin about how he’d been abused as a child, and about his nightmares. Jisung hadn’t been comfortable enough to share those memories himself. Minho didn’t want to admit it, but not hearing it from Jisung had made him indescribably melancholic._

_But that didn’t stop him from taking advantage of Jisung’s newfound closeness. Sometimes they would be sitting together on the couch, and it just so happened that they ended up laying on each other. Neither of them ever did it consciously, but Minho hadn’t said anything, in case it ruined the unspoken agreement they had together._

_He found himself looking forward to being with Jisung even if only to talk. He had to actively stop himself from imagining that their friendship was anything more than that: a friendship._

If he hadn’t kept convincing himself that Jisung was uncomfortable around him, maybe he would have been able to keep the Hanahaki from happening. Minho punched the brakes in the parking lot, not paying attention to how well he parked. 

Not to mention that he hadn’t visited Jisung in the hospital before today, which had probably let him die faster. He cursed himself for being too weak to face Jisung when he was close to death. 

He and Felix both practically jumped out of the car, jogging to the hospital. Thankfully they weren’t stopped by anyone as they ran through the sterile-smelling hallways, even though it was past normal visiting hours. 

Minho found himself slowing down the closer they got to Jisung’s room. How could he face the others after what he had done? Not to mention Jisung. He’d almost single-handedly killed his soulmate. Felix was ahead of him now and glanced back, beckoning Minho, who followed obediently.

The door to Jisung’s room eventually loomed in front of him, an impassable barrier. He would have taken a moment to collect his thoughts, but Felix threw the door open almost immediately. All of their friends were there, either sitting by Jisung’s side or sitting stiffly on the couch. Minho should have known that they would all be here since it was still a weekend.

They all looked up at the sound of the door, and Minho realized he had no idea what to say. His usual quick tongue was frozen in place, and he had no explanation. 

Felix thankfully jumped in when Minho didn’t say anything: “Uh, can Minho have a moment alone with Jisung?” Everyone glanced at Jisung, who was wrapped in approximately twenty blankets but still shivering. Confused, the seven of them began to file out of the room, Hyunjin, and a few others giving Minho anxious glances. 

Felix followed them out but paused before he left. 

“I’ll tell them, but I won’t let them in until you’re done. But I’m not holding them back after that,” he warned. Minho just nodded solemnly. He’d take whatever punishment he deserved from the others. Felix closed the door behind him and left Minho in the room alone with Jisung. 

He tiptoed over to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair that Chan had practically lived in for the entire time Jisung was in the hospital. 

He didn’t know how to start at first, but then Jisung shifted, turning to face Minho even though he was asleep, and Minho felt a surge of emotions: affection, regret, pain. 

“Okay I know you’re sleeping but I’ll just start,” He took a deep breath. “I know you’re my soulmate, and to put it simply, I’ve been a real ass. I treated you poorly and there’s no excuse for that. That being said, let me explain my thoughts. 

I think I always had a crush on you. 

You were just so adorable and you always made me laugh, but for some reason, I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what I should do, but I decided that since you didn’t seem to like me too much, I’d just ignore it. Instead, it just got worse. I was falling for you hard, Jisung.” 

Jisung stirred and Minho’s heart skipped a beat. He squeezed his eyes shut and continued.

“Now I know why you were so uncomfortable, so I’ll let myself indulge and tell you how I feel about you. God, Jisung I’m in love with you. And I’m so, _so_ sorry for not making that clear.” A tear slipped from the corner of Minho’s eye and he frowned. He never cried. He gasped when something touched his face, and his eyes snapped open. Jisung’s hand was stretched out and was resting on Minho’s face gently. 

Minho looked away ashamedly and pulled back. 

“I don’t deserve your comfort,” He said, and the two sat in silence for a few moments. “I just have one question,” Minho whispered, looking at his hands curled in his lap. “Why didn’t you tell me, or anyone for that matter?”

Jisung shifted uncomfortably. 

“I...I wanted you to be happy. You were always talking about your soulmate like they would be the perfect human, and I already knew I was your...your soulmate… I knew you’d be happier without me: I’m broken and anything but perfect,” He managed to choke out and Minho’s face twisted in pain. 

“Sungie…” He whispered. “I could never be happy if you were dead. Not in a million years.”

“But…you said,” Jisung wished he could avoid this conversation, but he was a little incapacitated at the moment. “You said you felt sorry for my soulmate.”

At that, Minho stood up, angrily beginning to pace. “Jisung-ah, I was just…” He groaned and fisted his hands in his hair. “It was just a stupid joke,”

“Fine, sure, it was a joke,” Jisung responded, not sounding too convinced. “But still, I was thinking of you, how amazing you are, and how someone like you didn’t deserve to be bonded to someone like me.” He didn’t explain what he meant by ‘someone like me’. 

“Look at me,” Minho said, sitting back down and leaning closer to Jisung, who swallowed nervously at the proximity. “You are hilarious, adorable, sexy, and amazingly talented and anybody would be lucky to be your soulmate. I don’t care if you’re broken from your past because the fact that you’re still here means you’re stronger than you think you are.”

Jisung’s eyes were wide and his mouth hung open just a little as Minho continued. “So I would be honored if you let me accept you as my soulmate because damn it, I’ve been in love with you for longer than I care to admit.” 

Jisung blushed. He knew that right now, sitting in a hospital bed and having been nearly dead that morning wasn’t exactly the ideal place for a romantic moment, but he was just so shocked that he didn’t even care. He couldn’t even form any words, so instead, he just nodded weakly. 

Minho’s face broke into a smile, but he had to fight back his tears.

“Oh thank God,” He said, and cupped Jisung’s cheek. “Because I love you,” He whispered.

“Hey,” Jisung whispered back, tears sliding down his cheeks. “I love you too,” 

Minho leaned forward and kissed the tears from Jisung’s cheeks before pecking Jisung on the lips and pulling back.

“You call that a first kiss?!” Jisung growled and pulled Minho back by the collar of his shirt. This time Jisung slotted their lips together and kissed Minho as if his life depended on it, which it quite literally did.

Jisung had kissed people before, but none of them had ever been like this. It was like they were made just to be touching each other, and Jisung felt like he was home. 

It didn’t last long enough though, as soon Jisung had to break away to breathe. He was still short of breath from his whole ordeal. 

In the back of his head, he felt Minho’s emotions. The first and foremost emotion was a bittersweet joy. He was truly happy to be Jisung’s soulmate. But under that joy was something else. Minho was angry at himself. 

“Minho-hyung,” Jisung started carefully. “Don’t blame any of this on yourself, okay?” 

“Are you kidding me? This whole thing is my fault! I gave you Hanahaki, me! How in the world could I not blame myself?” Minho turned around, not able to look his soulmate in the eyes when he knew what he was saying was true. 

“No,” Jisung said firmly, surprising both himself and Minho, who turned around again. “I hid this from you thinking it would be easier for both of us, so it’s both of our faults.”

“But,” Minho took Jisung’s hand and squeezed it. “I still should have noticed something was wrong.” Jisung felt a surge of regret from their bond.

“It’s probably morbid to brag about this, but I got really good at hiding the Hanahaki,” Jisung rasped, the soreness of his throat ironically flaring back up right at that moment. “So don’t you dare pin this on yourself, okay? Promise me.” Jisung held out his pinky, and Minho hesitated for a moment before locking their pinkies together. 

\-----

It had been a week since Jisung and Minho had sealed their bond, and also a week since Jisung almost died. He was still in the hospital, but he hadn’t had a coughing fit since. Minho was practically glued to his side and had become overly protective over him. Jisung didn’t mind, though. He was happy to spend time with his soulmate. 

Everyone else, however, didn’t appreciate it. Of course, they were happy that Jisung was cured, and that he would be coming back home soon, but were understandably angry at Minho.

It had taken Chan and Woojin a long time to forgive Minho, even though they’d been friends for around four years. Chan knew what it was like to make hard decisions, though, and eventually understood what Minho had gone through. Woojin just couldn’t be angry at him anymore, so decided to forgive him.

Felix had been angry at first, but seeing how angry Minho had been with himself on that day, he actually forgave him quickly. Since Hyunjin could feel his emotions, he empathized with Felix and also forgave him quickly. 

Seungmin and Jeongin weren’t mad at Minho so much as mad they’d almost lost Jisung. They forgave him after a few days and after seeing how much better Jisung was already. 

Changbin especially, for some reason, had a hard time staying civil with the elder boy. Jisung had tried to explain everything, but there was still a bit of tension in the air every time he came by.

Two weeks into this tense standoff, Jisung broke. 

He’d been in the hospital room with Minho alone, chatting about nothing and everything at the same time, and Changbin had come by to visit. The atmosphere had immediately turned tense, and Jisung had tried to laugh through it, but it was impossible. 

“OKAY that is enough,” Jisung finally said, and Changbin looked innocently at the boy. “I am over this whole feud thing you’ve got going on. I should be the one you’re mad at, so stop blaming Minho. You’ve been friends for two and a half years, for God’s sake, and I told you that everything worked out so for the love of all that is holy just **forgive each other**.” 

The two awkwardly bowed to each other and Changbin mentally forgave Minho, albeit reluctantly, and only because Jisung had said it was okay. 

Just then, the door burst open, and Chan was there with everyone in tow. 

“Listen up,” He said as everyone circled around Jisung’s bed. Felix and Hyunjin went to cling onto Changbin, and the awkwardness from the moment before was gone. Woojin stood behind Chan supportively. “Jisung is being discharged today. He’s staying in his apartment but at least one of us will be in the apartment with him 24/7 in case anything goes wrong. This will be for a full month, as he makes his recovery. Doctor’s orders.” 

So their little ensemble found themselves wheeling Jisung out of the hospital on a wheelchair later that afternoon. 

There was one thing that they were all thinking, but that nobody said. They weren’t sure how long it would take for them to trust Jisung completely again. 

Chan had been extra cautious and extended the 24/7 homestay for longer than the doctor suggested if only to make sure that Jisung was completely healed. Maybe he was being selfish, but he wasn’t about to let Jisung decide when he lived or died.

So they left the hospital behind but looked forward to uncertain times. 

However, one thing was for sure, and that was that they would be together as nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof that was pretty cheesy and I kind of wanted to vomit but it works out. Also look forward to the epilogue which will be out next week SATURDAY and will wrap up any loose ends and also let you know "where are they now"
> 
> Also scream at me @stanstraykids99 on insta, it makes my day. 
> 
> Next update: 4-20-2019


	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short wrap-up. It's been a ride. Thank you all for reading and leaving kudos.

It took years for everyone to be able to trust Jisung again. Every time he got a cold, his friends freaked out. Jisung was touched that they were so worried, but it led to more than a few fights over the years. 

Minho and Jisung had started dating immediately, and they could finally be exactly who they wanted to be. Jisung had trouble adjusting to sharing certain things about his past with Minho, as he still believed himself to be broken and flawed. He didn’t want Minho to see him differently after he told him that he used to self-harm and that he’d thought of suicide several times. 

Minho, of course, didn’t see him any differently. If anything, he beat himself up unnecessarily for causing Jisung even more trauma.   
“If only I’d noticed you were acting strangely before if only I’d just acted on my feelings before…” He’d usually trail off around that point, and Jisung would scrunch his nose. 

“Babe. You promised not to blame yourself for the Hanahaki, remember?” He’d huff. 

“Yeah,” Minho would whisper, but there was always something bitter behind his eyes. He never forgave himself. 

But thankfully, Jisung did. Every time Minho brought up the fact that he’d almost inadvertently killed Jisung, he’d do everything in his power to make Minho smile. Which wasn’t actually that hard. 

Usually, all it took was Jisung saying something stupid and just a little funny. Sometimes, if he was in a romantic mood, he’d say something cheesy like “Tell me, baby, you’re happiest when you’re with me, right?” and Minho would just smile and hit him playfully. 

Jisung loved to make Minho smile. It was possibly his favorite pastime. If he could spend an entire day just making Minho smile and laughing with him, he would.

But four years couldn’t be filled with just smiles. Minho graduated two years before Jisung and had started a dance studio. Already one of the top dance studios in the area, Minho had been very busy in those two years. 

Those two years had been hard for both of them. Jisung was busy as well, with his internship and later part-time job at JYPE. They had barely been able to spend weekends together. Jisung had leaned on Felix and Hyunjin in the last year, as they were going through something similar. Changbin and Chan had made an independent production company called RACHA and had been working to make it a profitable company. Of course, going into music independently is very difficult, so they often worked late nights and weekends. Felix and Hyunjin were deprived of their Changbin time, even though the three of them lived together. They had each other, though, and Jisung was glad for that.

Felix had finally chosen his major in their second year, thanks to Jeongin actually. Jeongin had decided to continue taking English lessons in college so that he could travel abroad easily in the future. Felix had been helping him a lot, and finally, he decided that he wanted to be an English teacher. 

Woojin had somehow weaseled himself into directing the university’s choir. He always insisted that it was just due to timing that he got such a prestigious job so quickly, but it was most likely because he was the co-director of the choir in his senior year, and the director had liked him so much that she decided to give him the choir when she retired, only one year later. Besides, he was an amazingly talented director. Chan would sometimes go to rehearsals to see what Woojin did, and he was always in awe. You really don’t realize that being a director requires talent until you’ve seen one in action.

Chan and Woojin had moved in together, and everyone had already made their bets on who would propose first and when.

“I think it’s gonna be Woojin, and within the next 3 months,” Hyunjin said, staring intently at the couple who were across the room, completely absorbed in their own conversation. 

“I’ll take that action,” Minho called from behind Jisung, who was smothering him. This particular weekend had been the first time they’d been able to spend more than a few hours together for a month. “It’s gonna be Chan. More than 3 months, less than 6.”

“Oh please, it’s gonna be Chan, but within 2 months,” Jisung’s muffled voice came from Minho’s chest, and Minho looked down at Jisung fondly, stroking his hair. 

“No offense Sungie, but I’ve known Chan longer. He’ll obsess over how to do it perfectly, and won’t do it for at least 3 months, but he just wants to be married to him already, so it won’t be longer than 6 months,” Minho finished and nodded definitively.

“Okay,” Jisung replied simply. “20,000 won.” 

Minho stuck his pinky in front of Jisung’s face and Jisung hooked his pinky to the elders. Minho used that excuse to pull Ji’s hand towards him and kissed the back of it.

“Ew,” Hyunjin mocked them. 

“You say that like you aren’t just as bad with Felix and Changbin,” Minho teased, and Hyunjin blushed, turning towards Felix, who was sitting beside him. Felix just patted his head and smiled. 

“Oh hey we should probably head out,” He said, realizing that it was almost time to go.

“I don’t wanna,” Jisung said, wrapping himself more tightly around Minho. 

“Ji, I’ll see you later and we can spend the rest of the weekend together after the ceremony, okay?” Minho said though he was reluctant as well. Jisung complied slowly, but before he could leave the room, Minho called: “Jisung! I love you.”

Jisung blushed and mumbled “I love you too,” back.

He’d never get used to hearing Minho say those words.

\-------

“So how’s it feel to finally be graduated?” Chan said, patting Jisung’s back. 

“Don’t you act all high and mighty just cause you’re like two years older than us, hyung,” Felix teased, and dodged Chan’s fist skillfully. 

“Really though, I’m happy, I can be full time at JYPE now, and I can finally spend more time with Minho. Working part-time after class has really been a pain in the butt,” Jisung mused, and Minho threw his arm over Jisung’s shoulder.

“How about you two?” Woojin directed at Felix and Hyunjin, who were hanging off of Changbin. 

“Well, it’s not like freedom for me, since I’m going to graduate school for two more years,” Felix said, looking a little sad. “But it’s best that way, I’ll be able to teach English at the college level!” He brightened up.

“I’m a little worried,” Hyunjin almost whispered. “I don’t have a job yet, and I’m not sure I can get one. I know I changed my major to dance, but I’m just not that confident.”

“Shut up, why didn’t you tell me you were looking for a job?” Minho gasped. “We’ve been looking for a new instructor at my studio since we have enough money now! Would you be willing?”

“Uh, duh,” Hyunjin beamed, giving Minho a high five. 

\---------

“I can’t believe I actually graduated,” Jisung sighed. They were currently on the roof of Chan and Woojin’s apartment building and had come up here to get some air. He leaned into Minho’s chest, breathing in his comforting scent. “I really thought I was going to die in my first year,” he chuckled weakly. 

Minho winced but grabbed Jisung’s hand. Jisung looked up at him curiously.

“You’re going to live for as long as humanly possible because I want to live a long life and if you die, well I’ll have to go too,” Minho explained. “So you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.” 

Jisung looked at the sincerity in Minho’s eyes, the little tear gathering at one of the corners of his eyes, and smiled. 

“‘Course not,” He sighed happily, and leaned back into Minho’s chest, looking over the skyline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL. THE END. I feel a little empty...
> 
> But it was good, I'm proud of the ending and everything. 
> 
> Now for those of you who have said you like my writing and want to read more fics, you'll have to wait a while since I'm going on hiatus for a while. I'll be back in a couple months though, with an ATEEZ fantasy fanfiction! Look forward to it <3


	19. Shameless Self Promotion

Yes hello, thanks for loving Roses of Forever! I re-read it the other day and wow, I forgot a lot of stuff that I wrote, haha.

Anyway this chapter is to ask you all to pleeeeeease read my ATEEZ fantasy fic that I just posted on Sunday. My next update will coincidentally be this Sunday, because I'm hoping to upload weekly. We'll certainly see, though. (Thanks, 55 hour work week for 5 weeks in a row)

Oh, it's called We Can Touch Utopia. I'm sooooo excited for this fic you have no idea.

Also, if you wanted to know the result of the bet for who would propose first, Woojin or Chan, Minho won.

Chan took 4 and a half months to think of the perfect way. He played guitar and sang "Better Together" By Jack Johnson before asking Woojin to marry him. Super simple but really sentimental. (It only took him so long cause he kept freaking out about how it had to be perfect)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19472182/chapters/46350523


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